Aaaaarrrrrggghhhhh!!!!!

Arrggh! And it’s drivin’ me nuts!

This punchline from a joke using double entendres is a perfect description for how I feel right now. As a first-time long-distance hiker (I hesitate to describe myself as a thru-hiker. Yet.) I have been ready for weeks. Got the permit. The gear. The plane ticket. The plan. There’s nothing left to do but wait. And obsess over everything. And question my gear choices. And freak out about weather reports. There is so much noise in my head right now that I’m having difficulty functioning. I putz around the house doing small tasks, but not accomplishing anything meaningful. At work, we’re in our slow season so while there’s stuff to do, it definitely allows bandwidth for daydreaming. I imagine other first-timers are in the same predicament? All dressed up and no place to go (yet!). It’s cool seeing some of the nobo AT hikers begin their journeys. It’s a sign that the season is beginning. And soon enough it will be my turn. But for now, all I can do is wait. So here’s a couple things that are keeping me up at night. In no particular order:

Logistics

I’m a bit of a planner. I like things to go smoothly. I’ve traveled enough to know that getting to Campo won’t be a huge deal. That said, until I am actually there and my feet are on the trail, I won’t be happy. Will the airline f up my pack? Will I get on the wrong bus? Will schedules work out? Who knows? Part of the adventure. Let it go!

Gear

I’ve got everything I need. Is it the right stuff? Very little of what I have is actually listed on any of the “most popular gear lists”. Does this mean that I’m doing it wrong? I know that I’m not UL. (My pack is heavy AF, but I had it, it’s comfortable, soooo…) Will my gear hold up to the rigors of day to day use? More importantly, will it function the way I need it to?

People

The saying goes “come for the views, stay for the people”. I know that I will have the opportunity to interact with some fantastic people. But I also know that I’m an outlier. Most hikers are either in their 20s or retired. I’m in the fortunate position to be able to do this in my working years so I land between the two largest age groups. I’m also an introvert so I don’t “meet people well”. I heard it said recently, ‘I’m not anti social, I’m pro solitude’. That’s me!

Weather

If anyone has been paying attention to west coast weather this winter, it’s no secret that there is a lot of snow in the mountains! Locals are saying that it will be difficult passage for most of the season. While I’m super happy for them that this will help to mitigate the drought they’ve experienced over the past several years, in the context of a thru-hike, it’s less than ideal. On the plus side, maybe less chance for wildfires? But the mosquitoes in the Cascades….!

Vistas!

This is such a big part of why I chose to hike the PCT. I love the desert. I love mountains. No matter how the hike goes in terms of a “successful thru-hike” (how is success actually defined?) I am going to spend a significant amount of time living outside in an environment that I love. Being in the midst of natural beauty just makes me happy. Mountains. Deserts. Forests. Big landscapes, I love them all. Until now though, I have always felt like a visitor to rather than part of the natural world. I am looking forward to immersing myself in nature without having to make it back in time for whatever it was.

Time

One of the biggest things I am looking forward to is slowing down. Yes I understand that miles are necessary in order to complete a hike. I’m talking about mentally slowing down. Moving at a human pace. Taking time to be able to contemplate each mile. Maybe having a long conversation with a fellow hiker. Or maybe having a few days completely alone. Not worrying about a schedule or getting to an appointment on time. Not needing to take care of this and that and don’t forget to take some time for yourself too, (which almost feels like just another thing to do). Watching seasons change before my eyes instead of through a window. Waking with the sun (and falling asleep) instead of an alarm clock. Planning on an as-needed basis, rather than being beholden to the norms of daily life.

Adventure

We get caught up in the rut of the day to day. We take the same way to work. We generally eat the same foods. We have our set route for a run, bike ride, hike, not necessarily because they are great, but we have it timed out pretty well so we know how we can squeeze it into our schedule. Very rarely do we do something that breaks us out of our routine. The notion of a six month hike is such a foreign concept that most people don’t understand it. To top it off, there are so many variables that it is impossible to predict what will happen out there. It might be amazing, it might suck. Chances are pretty high that there will be a good amount of both! Whatever happens though, all I can do is roll with it.

But that waiting….

Yes, the waiting. For sure the hardest part! See you on the trail!