To hike or not to hike…
Road trip back to the AT!!! If you’re out of the loop, beautiful man & I took a bit of a hiatus for the weekend. As soon as we left Erwin, TN we got a phone call from my Ma telling us that it ‘was time.’ Phew 2 was ready for his debut & instead of bringing my middle sister cups filled w/ ice chips, I was hiking through the woods. It took about 2 more steps & 1 look at Corbob for us to realize that we needed to get back home. Sometimes in life you make decisions that don’t make any sense but they just feel right. For example taking 3 Greyhound buses to MI for the weekend only to turn back around & return to the exact spot we left only days prior… Makes no sense, but feels like the only possible option. Before Corey & I left for our trip I came to terms w/ the fact that I would meet my nephew months after his arrival. However, what I was not prepared for was how it would feel to miss one of the most important moments in my sisters life. We paused our hike to discuss the options: 1) Go or 2) Stay- & it was just so clear. The trail isn’t going anywhere, but we needed to! When we got back to MI beautiful man & I did just about everything you shouldn’t. We didn’t immediately book a way back to the trail, we fell back in love w/ our beds & most of all our pillows! We spent an entire day house hunting (just for fun 😉 & started reintroducing the idea of settling down & creating a home together into the mix. We literally made the decision to come back to the trail last night & I’m pretty sure we’re both still pretty conflicted. Everything feels so different & yet the exact same. I guess I thought when we came home I’d have this new sense of direction. Almost like I’d know exactly the right steps to take for the life that I want to lead. I thought that I’d have this new sense of confidence in teaching yoga & that I would automatically be in tuned w/ my body & spirit. I thought I’d know which direction I’d like to go career-wise & be ready to make those necessary steps. Just so we’re clear, that didn’t happen. I feel much different post 1 month on the trail, but not in the ways I had imagined- much more subtle alterations. For instance I have never felt as grateful for every little thing in my life as I do in this current moment. Whether it be family members, the ability to brush my teeth w/ running water, fresh fruit or the simple routine Corey & I share at the end of each day that I cherish so much. I think when we originally left to hike the AT, my expectations for what the trail would offer were unrealistic, which is part of the reason why I think I’ve struggled w/ it. If I don’t take the necessary steps to fulfill my life, I will never be fully satisfied. Trail or no trail, if I want something I need to start taking strides towards it. I am so happy that we decided to come home for a few days for so many reasons, 1 being so that we didn’t continue w/ this trip & come home 5 months later only to realize that everything I thought I’d magically discover about myself or all the qualities I thought I’d gain didn’t just miraculously appear. I’m returning back w/ a whole knew perception of myself & what this adventure will bring me now. I can honestly say I’ve missed the trail. I’ve missed the simple qualities of life that you just can’t get surrounded by technology & worrying about bills & jobs & all the things that life unfortunately revolves around. I miss the kind hearted people we’ve come across whose unique spirits fill the trail w/ unbelievable amounts of love & support. I miss our tent, our home. Although I’d prefer not to break it down & rebuild it each morning & night! It’s our home nevertheless. I miss being outdoors, listening to the sounds of nature as we trek across mountaintops. So we’ll see what this adventure has left to show us. It has certainly been a hell of a lot so far! & we’re not always so happy about that- but we are happy & excited to see what the next 5 months brings us, wherever we end up! & then I’m coming straight home to squeeze my nephews & niece…. (& sisters & ma & dad & brother-in-laws 😉 because who knew how much you could miss people you’ve seen in the last 24 hours?!?! Peace&Love.
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