A Glimpse Into The Mind Of A Future Thru-Hiker (Part 2)
( I tried to keep my first post comical and lighthearted but things are different now. Reality is really starting to hit hard. I have 4 months until my desired departure date and I have managed to save an astounding -$64.00! That’s gotta be some kind of new, “Loser” record! …but it’s not over just yet. )
I’ve never been good at making plans. No matter how hard I try my plans are always spoiled by some mystical force. Sometimes I feel like there is an ancient law of the cosmos that states, “Jordan must NEVER reach his goals!” What ever the case may be, I have become quite familiar with this procrastinators plight. So lets just say I was forced to develop coping methods a long time ago.
“…I would have to climb some of my biggest mountains, before I ever even hit the trail.”
I can already feel the trail beginning to humble me. In regard to the aforementioned forces that influence my life, it just makes sense that I would have to climb some of my biggest mountains, before I ever even hit the trail. (Hows that for my first magical trail epiphany?)
I really don’t need much to do this. If I can reach the trail head with $1500 and a guitar… It’s on! I really only need about $30-40/wk to hike. I can likely make that much (or more) playing street gigs in towns. I also have a few other ideas for making money along the way… but they must remain top-secret for now. However, I would much rather travel poor and see the world than live an average life. Sometimes I like to imagine that this hike is preparing me to transition into a more mobile style of living.
Before you go and call me crazy, there are people who have hiked the AT with much less. One kid I read about played street gigs along the way and saved $1,700 by the time he reached Katahdin! Having a backpack full of party favors, and staying in hotels every weekend would be a blast! Unfortunately, I can’t let luxuries come between myself and my goals. This is sure to be a constant battle. If there is one thing I tend to lack, it is self control.
There is another option that could help me bide some time to earn more money. I could change up my hike and head southbound… or flipflop even. Reversing the direction of my hike means that I could start as late as June or July and hike south towards warmer weather. I have a feeling that being flexible and having the ability to adapt are going to be two very important skills on this journey.
“…So much about all this frightens me.”
I’m new to Florida. I don’t really have many friends down here. The only thing harder then being lonely, is not having any friends around to hangout… at all. The last few weeks have definitely been more of a,”valley” in the great thru-hike of life. My crappy job has really gone to shit and I’m barely making enough money to live let alone save. As a result, I have barricaded myself in my bedroom for the past two months and I have only left to work and look for new jobs.
I feel like having friends and a social life just isn’t realistic for me right now. Everything costs money… money I don’t have. I can’t even talk myself into chasing girls anymore. I would give ANYTHING to be one of those guys that’s good at, “pulling tail.” I can’t even get girls that admit they like me. Unfortunately, most women are virtually imprisoned by their families and other obligations. Once they get past my good looks and awesome Facebook pictures… well… nobody wants to fall in love with a gypsy like me. That’s the way it feels anyway.
Being bipolar is a real obstacle too. My emotional peaks and valley’s are more comparable to spaceships and submarines. The highs are spectacular but the extreme pressure one experiences at the depths of my, “lows” could crush even the mightiest soul. Being on the AT is bound to be a roller coaster of emotions. It’s going to make for great writing material. To bad my grammar is horrific, and my ability to transfer thoughts/feelings to paper, is almost nonexistent. (Kuddos btw… if you are still reading!)
I’ve never been very good at expressing feelings, so to keep things simple, I’m afraid. So much about all this frightens me. Well, everything but the hiking anyway. This is the biggest goal I have ever set. It’s probably the first truly attainable goal that I have ever had. As a matter of fact, I have this really bad habit of setting goals that are almost impossible, and then psychologically beating the ever living shit out of myself when I can’t follow through. I’m really hoping this is going to be different. It has to be… I need it to be.
This brings me to one of the reasons I decided to blog. I felt that applying to applachiantrials.com and making a big stink out of my hike, would not only enable me to materialize my goals, but cleverly add the risk of public humiliation as form of motive. It seems to be working so far.
Sorry. I’m done venting. Let’s part ways on a more positive note… to… myself?
“It’s not over yet. You may be getting a second job at Skydive Deland! Do you know how DOPE that will be? Stop being such a pussy… these girls ain’t cool enough for you! They don’t want adventure… they want picket fences and babies… Yuck! What the hell is wrong with you? Don’t you dare spend a single effin penny! Suffer now so you can do well later! Be like that dumb tiger meme you gawk at all the time… eyeballs full of tears… wishing that could be you. God! You make me sick! Why don’t you just donate your balls to charity so some poor unfortunate bastard can put them to good use! Worst of all! Stop blogging in the third person these people are going to think your frickin nuts!”
But honestly guys, don’t get worried just yet, I still have time. I’m not paying rent right now so getting some cash saved should be easy. Just wanted to give you a true ,” Glimpse into the mind of a future thru-hiker.”
Signing out till next time,
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I enjoy your writing! It’s actually really good! You have a great attitude and will truly find a home on the AT…it was made for those like you! Enjoy it…live in the moment and the trail will provide….
Best wishes and great success is on the way!