A Good Thing Gone Bad… Kinda
When I first decided I wanted to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail, it wasn’t planned to happen as quickly as it did. I thought about it, and it was something that was challenging yet enjoyable, and I wanted to push myself to do this. Somehow it got to this point, and I have no words to describe how happy I am about it. Yet, I do seem to be having other emotions towards this thru-hike that I have not wanted to admit.
Butterflies or Dragons?
I am having a rough time getting all my ducks in a row, connecting the dots, making my 5 step plan, yatta yata. It isn’t impossible and it will get done in time. Due to the stress of being a bit behind, and feeling like I don’t know anything and the hardest part is, I don’t know what I don’t know. With this, I have begun to resent it a little, and second guessing. Second guessing myself comes easy, but second guessing myself at a time like this is lethal and I won’t do it, I have to stop. It kills me to just type it, and I hate that I have but I need to talk about it before it discourages me beyond the point of return.
I have the three major things to survive figured out… Food. Water. Shelter. Everything else is just a luxury, and I say that as loosely as possible and is meant to be taken with a grain of salt. I noticed before I started planning, and before I realized how much I didn’t have, I enjoyed everything the Appalachian Trail means… But I stopped focusing on that and why I wanted to hike.
I have been told again and again and read about numerous people’s experiences is that the best thing to do to prepare… is just do it and learn while you’re out there. I am going to take that in a lot and hold it with me for the next few weeks. I don’t want to experience a disdain of myself or resentment to a life changing experience I haven’t even started, so while I am behind on preparation, what matters is the journey to Katahdin.
Has anyone else experienced feelings like this?
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