Anticipation to the AT
As my flight departure date draws closer and closer, tons of thoughts and emotions are running rampant in my head. Learning to decipher and organize these thoughts has been an adventure of its own. I know most people who have embarked upon this journey themselves have thought and worked through some of these same emotions. That alone provides some solace. Although I’m doing this solo, I’m not alone.
Two years of planning and it’s all beginning in just a few days! This is really happening! I’m about to undertake the biggest thing I’ve ever done. I’m looking forward to digging deeper into self to isolate and tackle some emotions I have not allowed myself to deal with. I’m excited to push myself in every way imaginable and truly see what Nancy’s made up of.
This epic adventure will have many ups and downs. Many of the same things I’m excited about also can be articulated as nerves. I know there will be obstacles (literally and figuratively) that will push me WAY outside of my comfort zone. Do I have the tools to sort through them and be victorious on the other end? Have I done everything needed to plan and prepare for the unknown? There’s only one way to find out!
This is just to name a few! My analytical mind goes crazy thinking about EVERYTHING! This epic journey will be my time to quiet those voices and learn to live, and not fear all of the unknown. Striving towards the ultimate goal of living Truly Alive!
My rock. My own personal cheerleaders. The best and most valuable people in my life! My family is 100% behind me. There are a few family members that think I’m absolutely nuts. Technically, they may be right!! Their only impression of Nancy is a somewhat quiet and meek individual. They don’t know all of the wild dreams and aspirations I have dancing around in my head. I haven’t shared many of these ideas with others as they seemed so far out of reach. I never wanted to “put something out there” and not accomplish it for fear of looking like a failure. I now have the opinion that not putting it out there and trying is the most epic fail of them all. I know this is a massive feat and I know that I’ll see the top of Katahdin, but I know my journey will be unique to me.
Thankfully I was able to transition my job to a highly skilled and trained individual. I know she’ll do great and will excel at it. As mentioned in a previous blog, this was a concern of mine. This has drastically eased this fear and I can leave for Atlanta with the peace of mind that my boss was not left “high and dry”.
It’s really happening!
As I sort through everything left to sort through before “walking away from my life” to “walk into my new normal”, I am truly grateful for everything I have and everyone that has been there for me. I have never felt more loved and cared for. I definitely have a greater love and appreciation for myself than I have ever before. I honestly believe that without this new found love for self, this journey would be a failure before it begins. I know now that this journey is already a success before it actually begins.
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