Balance and Duality
Balance
Went to downstate in September to visit a friend we hadn’t seen in way too long. It was 20 minutes from the trail. No, I told my husband, you guys go disc golf, I’ve never have and the trail, it’s, it’s RIGHT there. Like the next hill over! Well, my husband said, we came down to visit and you did see them yesterday, and you have to visit today too. Internal, no actually external growling ensued. So I borrowed one disc that was more like a frisbee that I was used to, threw it the entire time, had a great time chilling, talking and being outdoors. Best adventure I got dragged into. I actually recognized that I was so number obsessed, and so results driven, that I had forgotten to be a human. Reading the posts on various sites, I remembered that thru hikers regretted not taking pictures of people they had run into, even briefly. So while we pre-hike obsess about shaving ounces, elevation, and miles per day spreadsheets, I hope to remember to just be on the hike, have good conversations, and let the day evolve, which will be hard because my brain and stomach likes to know where the next resupply is. I know that my plan will be obsolete on Day 3, or even Day 1.
Duality
About two months to go. I finally believe that I might just pull off this grand adventure. Of course the nagging demon on the shoulder warns of hubris, but the demon is given far less time. I am also convinced that my inner circle of friends while delighting in my pictures of the local forests and trails also don’t care about my cold soaking food experiments, or whatever obsession of the week is. They are excited and beg for updates, but I certain they want to regain the person that has more than one subject to talk about. While walking with my loaded pack, I’ve been wrestling with transformation, introspection, and wondering how my previous linear science driven brain came to this place. I’ll certainly have a lot more time to reflect over the next few months. Will this blog evolve into laying my soul bare, albeit in a poorly crafted post. Yes I still believe myself to be inarticulate, and hope to evolve into a better wordsmith over the course of time. We are so much harsher on ourselves than friends. We wouldn’t let anyone talk to our friends as we do ourselves. More internal grace has been hard fought and given, so in under 2 months come along for the journey, we will have the adventure of a lifetime.
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Comments 4
Nice to “meet” you, Jill. Our paths sound similar. I am newly “retired” too. I hope we cross paths on the trail! ~April
Sincere and I can’t wait to read all about your grand adventure!!! 💛
Of course I want to know about the food experiments!! I am fascinated by it all. Including the numbers. I also want you to enjoy it sis. And remember, if you heard something, no ya didn’t.
Breath deep. Take one step at a time. Live in the moment when on trail. The AT will take care of you. Have fun, Play nice and Hike your own hike.
No worries 😁😁😁😁😁