Dear Shoes, (Looking for Love with all the Wrong Laces)

Dear Salomon Speedcross 3,

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Your super grippy soles and quick lace system sold me from the start. I love how easy the laces work and there is even a pocket for the excess lace? How cool is that?! Your QuickLace system is on point! Quick to get on, don’t have to tie, and you stay nice and snug on my feet. I also absolutely love how I feel like I will not slip on anything while you are on my feet. It’s like you are always trying to keep me safe. It could be wet roots or slippy rocks, you are there for me. Not everything has been good to us. Remember when I got into trail running and my feet started to swell? They probably grew 1- 1.5 sizes bigger. We would finish a race and I would have to immediately remove you from my feet. I know this isn’t your fault, however, it’s time you found a new place to live. We just don’t fit together anymore.

Sincerely,

Big Foot

 

Dear Keen Targhee II Mid,

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You are my favorite pair of hiking boots. I first got you because I needed a little extra support for my weak ankles, but slowly found you are much more than a little extra support. The KEEN.DRY waterproof system is pretty neat. With you on my feet I can trudge through puddles, cross streams and hike in the winter with minimal consequences. You keep me dry as long as I don’t attempt to drown you. The larger toe box that Keen is known for is also something I grew to love. I have longer toes, and the added space there is welcoming. Not all is love. Your soles are not grippy, which is really important, especially on wet trails. How can you be so wonderful, but are lacking so much here? Just looking at you, I’d think you would be great on slippery surfaces, however, it’s just not true. I’m constantly sliding when attempting a creek crossing, or traversing wet rocky areas. We are not working out. I can’t just keep letting you slide.

Sincerely,

Slip and Slide

 

Dear Montrail Bajada,

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I don’t have much to say to you, except, why are you still around? We have never liked each other. You don’t fit well and you wore out quickly in the heels. And, sorry, but you are ugly. Buh, Bye.

Sincerely,

Never Satisfied

Dear Pearl Izumi E:Motion Road N1,

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You were never meant to be a shoe I would wear to hike with, however, sometimes you gotta go with what you have. You are very comfortable and didn’t it take long for us to become accustom to each other. I love your vibrate color and your style. However, you are not reliable. You wore out where my big toe meets your fabric. How could you betray me like that? I guess I haven’t been the best either. You were meant for the road, yet I’ve taken you to the trails. I know you don’t like that because you slip and slide and bend over backwards to attempt to keep me supported (and fail miserably.) We could never be long term. Maybe just a side fling…

Sincerely,

Looking for Something More

Dear Future Shoe,

I know you are out there. Maybe you are a brand I haven’t tried yet. Perhaps you are a larger size Salomon, a different model Keen, a trail specific Pearl Izumi. One thing I know for certain… you will not be a Montrail. Let’s be real. I’m only expecting 2(ish) months out of you and hopefully about 500 miles. Please, future shoe, do not give me blisters for days, be too small, slip on rocks, give me more than minimal support. Is that too much to ask? You know, it would also be really great if you were purple… just sayin…

Sincerely,

Future AT Thru-Hiker

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Comments 3

  • Katina : Feb 4th

    Great post! I’m pretty happy with both my Oboz Sawtooths and Merrill Moabs.

    Reply
  • Danny : Feb 5th

    I have quite a chore just finding a pair of 15’s for my feet. Considering wearing a pair and carrying another, despite the weight and the pack space. Right now I am in the process of breaking in a pair of Merrill Moab Ventilators and a pair of Moab Mid length Waterproofs. Hopefully they hold up and are comfortable enough to get me to my next pair and my feet quit growing!

    Reply
  • Steph : Feb 6th

    This is a really funny post. I’m having the same problem. I’ve been through Salomon’s, Merril’s, Brooks trail, etc. I’m not super sold on any of the latest models of these. I tried on the Vasque Grand Traverse recently and was kind of intrigued. They do run super small and have a narrow toe box so definitely a concern. Ugh! Now I know how Cinderella feels- a shoe can change your whole life. Future 2016 NOBO thru-hiker.

    Reply

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