Dreaded Questions

I had been contemplating a post about how my planning is going… but in effect, it really “isn’t” yet.  Most of my gear is bought, or at least in the “searching for best price” mode, but I didn’t want to write a post about my gear list.  Someone suggested I write about the top 5 or 10 questions I have gotten, but that’s been done.  I actually had half of the below post written as I was catching up on all the posts I had missed from Appalachian Trials, and that’s when I saw that my post has already been done, too.  (Kudos to Kate Balano on the excellent post, by the way!)  But since most of my questions are different, I decided to finish this post.

As I am prepping for my quickly-approaching April departure, I utilized the holidays to make sure I have notified as many of my friends as I can about my trip.  And the amount of support has been overwhelming at times.  Thank you for that, everyone.  But with the notifications comes an endless line-of-fire questioning, as well.  And while some are good, honest questions by people who care, I seem to get asked a few of the same “stereotypical” questions…  so in trying to procrastinate from everything else I am supposed to be doing, here are the top five annoying questions and my snarky responses.  Hope you enjoy!

Isn’t going southbound easier, since it’s all downhill?

Um, I know it’s been a LONG time since I had geography, but as far as I know, to cross a mountain, you go up AND down – no matter which way you are traveling across said mountain.  Right?

Have you read Bill Bryson’s “A Walk in the Woods”?

Yes, I have.  Well, about half of it.  And I did not like it.  At all.  While his writing is fine, and I liked how he described some of the scenery, I was not thrilled with his defeatist attitude, his anti-US Government mentality, and the overall negative tone I perceived.  Maybe I am wrong in all of that, but after half the book, I tossed it on the shelf and haven’t picked it back up since.  However, I have read LOTS of other very well written books and articles, so I don’t think I am missing out on anything.

Do you have a good gun?

Yes, many.  However, I am not taking ANY of them with me.  Why bother?  That’s a lot of weight to carry for the off-chance that I need to protect myself from a human.  And in all honesty, no gun I could legitimately carry is going to do anything to Mr. Bear except piss him off and make him more prone to trying to eat me.  I will just have to rely on my super ninja skills garnered from watching lots of old Bruce Lee movies to protect myself.

How do you go to the bathroom out there?

The same as I do here, without flushing water.  I am not afraid of leaning against a rock or a fallen tree to do “business”.  Not thrilled about having to do said business in the rain, but as the saying goes, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.  Years of being in the woods as a kid has prepared me for “Nature’s Call” when I am actually IN nature.

Source:  Google

Source: Google

What about rain?

What about it?  Anyone who knows me can certainly attest that I am not made of “sugar and spice and everything nice”.  I will not melt in the rain.  In fact, a good rain storm might do some good – like washing away some of the hiker stank.  I have a great rain coat (thanks, mom!), and am contemplating carrying a trekking umbrella.  My gear will be in waterproof bags.  And as much as I am probably tempting fate here – Bring it, Mother Nature!

I would love to hear what questions anyone else has received.  The good, the bad, and the ugly – let me hear them!

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