Finding My Groove Again

My Last Blog

It’s been a few weeks since I posted my last blog and I’ve got to apologize for the tone of it. Most of my blogs have been upbeat and fun! I’m loving life out here and having a blast but the White Mountains kicked my ass and handed it back to me with a bad attitude! I was afraid, humbled and honestly ready to go home at times. I cried on trail and hated so many moments that I seriously thought I couldn’t continue. Thank you to my ever patient husband for a couple things…. refusing to take me home (rude!), telling me that I was doing great (probably a little lie), and telling me it would get better which I believed. In reality, I just got better at climbing and scrambling and all those things that I hated. Do I still hate them and seize up with fear?? Damn right I do!! It’s scary on the side of a mountain climbing rocks with a pack on your back and no one to help you! But, I’ve learned to trust myself again which is huge out here! So thank you all for sticking with my previous miserable self and thank you to all who commented and sent encouragement, you all are greatly appreciated.

Maine

I finished the Whites only to get slapped in the face by southern Maine.  It’s wet, muddy and looks just like New Hampshire.  There’s 4000 foot mountains and rocks/boulders for days.  Trees with root systems to tread carefully over and climbs up and down. I hiked alone most of the days.  It was hard as hell and I finally lost my shit near Old Speck Mountain.  I fell victim to the comments on the app we use for navigation. I read someone’s opinion and took it to heart. It wasn’t the climb I expected or had read about so I wasted time, tears and energy on fears over nothing.  I had done Mahoosuc Notch and Arm with no issues, had fun actually! But reading those comments sent me over the edge so per husband’s recommendation I went into Bethel to rest. While there I realized one thing that I wasn’t doing anymore, listening to music!! So silly but so important! Drowning out my own thoughts and fears was vital to my day. Self talk is probably the biggest thing out here.  We all spend hours a day inside our own heads with nothing to focus on but our thoughts. Sometimes good and, in my case, sometimes awful! I was convincing myself that I couldn’t do this. Positivity doesn’t come easy to me but I’m sure I can do this damn thru hike! I’ve planned and completed 1200 miles of the thing already. Maine is just a challenge and now that my head is on straight I hear from others that it’s hard for them too!! NOBOs have slowed down!! The SOBOs have nothing good to say about it!! I’m not the only one!! Whoo hoo!!

Hikers Out Here

I’m getting passed daily by hikers who are close to ending their hikes. So excited for them!! They’re exhausted and ready to be done.  They know that going home is right around the corner but these miles are the hardest right now and slowing down is not desired. I really feel for them!  I’ve also met quite a few flip floppers like myself. We all seem to have a different point of flipping but the goal is the same, finish this hard section and move onto the easier areas. The southbound hikers are the best! They have barely begun their hikes and  are still figuring out gear and logistics. It’s an interesting mix out here in the forests of Maine!

Rest Days

The days are long here in Maine. I’m finally moving a little faster than I was.  I’m taking ibuprofen again and I feel the legs more at night. I’m stronger than I thought.  Trusting yourself is so important out here! I can pull myself up roots or rocks and lower down as well. I know how to climb up the damn rocks despite hating it.  I’m bruised and scraped up but I’m having fun again.  Rest days are so important now.  I’m not a spring chicken and recovery days are necessary. I have increased my calories up here because I’m still dropping weight.  I stretch more and take my time in complicated sections.  My goal is to finish Maine and Katahdin in a couple weeks to flip down to Hanover, New Hampshire and continue south. Shuttles, a bus and probably some hitches are in my future.  Hiking everyday has become my life and I had forgotten how much I really love it.