I’ve been different all my life. I have never fit in and I always stand out. I’ve been searching and wandering most of the time trying to figure out if I’m just that odd or just have the wrong address.

I’ve accomplished alot physically the past two years at Spartan and mentally along the way also, but I need more.  I feel more welcome there in that community, but I still stick out and I’m desperate to find a place I blend in.  Is that so wrong of me to wanna be apart of something bigger than me and just be a small fish in a huge pond?

This is what I hope to find on the trail.  I wanna see things and experience God in the purest form.  I wanna feel tiny in the open endlessness of nature and just be for awhile.  Nothing pressing or no time to be anywhere or do anything.  I just wanna see what I’m made of and then finally feel like just one person in line to complete something.  Not a race to the finish, but a competition to find what I’ve been searching for.  I know I’m out there somewhere and I just have to go find me.

So shuttle arrangements are bein made and it’s gettin real…. I guess it’s time to see what I’m made of.  I can’t prep anymore than I have.  It’s either go out and do it or just sit here and wish I was gone.  I’m scared to death, but I know I have what it takes to survive it and then after a few days of mouth breathing and once the panic and tears cease, I might even start to enjoy it.  Part of that is joking, but I know I will cry and I know I will wanna come home, but I also know I have to do this.  I have to do this for myself and for those who can’t.

Affiliate Disclosure

This website contains affiliate links, which means The Trek may receive a percentage of any product or service you purchase using the links in the articles or advertisements. The buyer pays the same price as they would otherwise, and your purchase helps to support The Trek's ongoing goal to serve you quality backpacking advice and information. Thanks for your support!

To learn more, please visit the About This Site page.

Comments 2

  • The Chief : Nov 5th

    Prayers will be your way! Looking forward to following your tale!

    • Sheena : Feb 16th

      Thanks so much!! All prayers are appreciated


What Do You Think?