Be Grateful for Every Step: A Promise to Myself
It can be hard to admit how much you doubt yourself on the precipice of such a big undertaking; three days out from my thru-hike attempt along the Appalachian Trail and self-doubt looms. I want to say I am as confident as ever, but in reality I have never been so anxious and unsettled about any decision I have ever made in my life. But I know that this emotional roller coaster I have stepped on is all a part of this journey, and that it will not stop after my first steps have been taken and the white blazes start to pass.
What I know is I am ready for this trail to really break me down, to humble me in ways I have never known. I am ready for this trail to teach me all of its lessons. I want it to show me how to practice compassion, to work hard for everything, to love others, and myself, unconditionally. I am ready for the opportunity to show my strength both mentally and physically. I am ready to build unfathomable courage and confidence as I slowly tackle every peak.
I know the trail alone cannot provide these things; I need to listen to the teachings of the trail and heed its advice. I need to remember that this journey is about every step taken as much as it is about reaching Katahdin. I need to recognize that every single day will bring a new lesson, a new adventure, a new person to share all this love with.
While the anxiety may be winning right now, I am already so grateful for the opportunities this very long walk is going to provide.
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