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Hiker Intro: Did The Universe Just Poop Me A Golden Nugget?
It’s not often that opportunities are just presented by pure luck, heck I don’t even believe in luck. Yet I find myself in the midst of a strange situation that I never imagined presenting itself this way. I got fired from the best job I ever had which paved the road for an opportunity of a lifetime hiking the Appalachian Trail.
A Long Time Love Affair Is Over
I’m not sure about any of you but personally I’ve never been fired from a job. I’ve never been written up, never been insubordinate, never no-call no-showed. I’ve never wronged an employer or employee. I am pretty close to the perfect employee I’d say, HAH! You can imagine that with no prior issues or warnings on my behalf I was shocked to get fired during the end of a meeting that I, the Bar Manager, asked for. It was unfortunate for me that during COVID what used to be a trusting, open, communicative working relationship turned into a lying, cheating and emotionally abusive situation. I like to think of it like this:
Remember that crappy relationship you were in for WAY too long but the sex was good and maybe they made really delicious biscuits in the morning? Well for some reason you kept justifying that those damn biscuits were SO good that you couldn’t possibly imagine life without them. So you stick around even though you knew better, you kept buttering those biscuits even though they started to harden and taste sour. You kept justifying the lies you had to tell yourself to make eating them taste good anymore. For some awful reason we kept eating the damn biscuits even when it hurt.
And for some reason we find ways justify our toxic, depressing, soul sucking jobs the same way.
(ie. “I’ll never make this much money anywhere else”, “I’ve been here for years”, “They can’t do this without me here”, “I’m the only one who knows how to do this.”, “They NEED me and I NEED them.”, “I couldn’t imagine doing anything else.”, “But I’ve done this my whole life?”.)
Transitioning: Termination to Determination
After getting terminated from my 4 year long relationship with the bar of my dreams I had A LOT of thinking to do. I felt angry, bitter, hurt, confused and depressed. Everything I thought that defined who I was was gone. Covid had stripped me to the core. I felt like I had lost myself.
But then I had a thought….
As soon as I realized my lease ended about 4 months after being fired and that I no longer had any commitments, outside of my loving relationship, I felt free. I felt like I had no more reasons or excuses to tell myself “now is not the time”. I knew that for the first time I truly had a chance to get my feet on the trail and do this thru-hiking thing. The universe had pooped me a golden nugget and it was time I used that nugget to get my butt to Georgia so I could walk back home.
My first time on the AT (14 years old pink bandana)
I have wanted to hike the AT since I was 14 years old. It’s been my dream for literally as long as I can remember. If you asked me “What do you want to do with your life?” my answer would be “the only thing I’ve ever truly wanted to do with myself was to hike the Appalachian Trail.” and that is true to this day. I never grew up wanting to go to college, to have a house or get married and have kids, those were just not goals I had. I never had a “dream job”, whatever that means. All I knew was that I would not be satisfied or able to move on with my life until I hike the AT.
I am determined.
Despite all the setbacks this year has brought me financially I am determined to turn my life around and get on the trail. I have discovered that determination is often paired with sacrifice. So I started asking myself “what are you willing to sacrifice to get on the trail?”. It turns out there is a lot I am willing to sacrifice and those sacrifices are what’s going to get me to Georgia and up to Maine. A lot of people wonder how someone makes time for a thru-hike, or how they have the money to live in the woods for 6 months? The truth is that everyone makes sacrifices to make it happen. You start to give up things that just don’t seem important anymore compared to joy you will feel surrounded by Mother Nature. The more I sacrifice things in my everyday life the easier it is to motivate myself to truly let go of the mundane lifestyle I have lived for so long. My determination will motivate me on and off the trail, I will use my situation as fuel for the fire that’s lit inside my soul.
And so the journey begins.
There are good days and bad days.
There are days I doubt if I am making the right decisions and there are days I am wondering if I am an idiot.
Days I wonder why this goal is my goal?
Why did I decided a million years ago that walking to Maine makes sense for me?
What if I don’t make it to Maine?
What will people think of me?
What if I get scared?
What if I get lost?
What happens when I am alone?
What happens if I don’t find myself?
What if I get sick or injured?
The funny thing about all these fears is that we never stop to ask ourselves these questions when it comes to something as simple as a new job or relationship. We save our fears for the things we are most passionate about so we have excuses in case we fail. It’s all a self defense mechanism. Meanwhile we so easily make excuses to fit unwanted fear into our lives and even worse excuses to keep the hard things out. To help my brain stay away from this dark internal dialogue I have been saying to myself:
Appalachian Trail 2008
“You can only learn the other side of fear if you succumb to fear itself.”
As I prepare to set off on this magnificent adventure I will remember to face my fears every single day. I will challenge my body emotionally, mentally and physically. I will never let the fear of failure overcome my ability keep trying harder.
I will harness this golden nugget the universe has gifted me and let something beautiful blossom simply because I can.
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Comments 39
I am soooo excited for you and this crazy adventure you are stepping into! You gave my love and support… a father couldn’t be more proud!
Take your golden nugget and transform it into a lifetime memory.
Yay, Dad!
Thanks dad! I couldn’t be doing this without the support from you or mom. I am lucky to have parents who understand my dream and are willing to set aside their own fears and help me make it happen instead. I love you! I’ll carry my nugget for the rest of my life! Love you!
You have been talking about this adventure almost your whole life! So very excited for you, Wild Jocelot!!!!!
Love…Your biggest fan…AKA Mom
Yay, Mom!
YOUR MOM. hah! I love you, thank you for your support and for watching over the Porkster for me! You guys are a HUGE part of making my dream come true. I love you!
Thanks, Jocelot. This is beautifully written. Go for it! My decision to thru-hike the AT came at the beginning of 2018 when I decided that I was no longer unemployed but retired and that the only way to make a thru-hike happen was to set a date and started telling people about it. Back surgery (all better now) and pandemic have me looking at 2022 for birthday 72 instead of my original 2020 for 70 plan, but I’m itching to get past getting started.
Blessings,
Steve
The feeling of setting a date, booking the travel and telling the world is incredible. I honestly have had goosebumps for about 24 hours talking about it with people and feeling so loved and supported! It’s the best and most relieving way to say I AM DOING THIS. I am excited for you to get your freshened up back out on the trail for 2022! Have you picked a starting time yet? The anticipation would be killing me!
And also thank you for your kind words!
Happy future trails to you Steve!
Look at my sis, crushing it! I can’t wait to hear about all your adventures and see you when you trek through VT.
I think I’m your biggest fan though. Sorry, Ma.
I will have SO much to tell you by the time I am in VT! I can’t wait to eat some home cooking and see you all!
You and mom can have a biggest fan cook off and I will be the judge hahah!
The gauntlet has been thrown down!
AWESOME!! Will be watching for all your updates. Enjoy each and every step to discovering the wonders out there is see. While hiking in Alaska will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Each step will bring you closer to your dream.
Hiking in Alaska?! Wow, that sounds incredible! Have an amazing adventure there!
Thank you for the thoughts, prayers & kind words! They mean much! 😀
Go for it Jocelyn!! What an awesome adventure! Things happen for a reason! God will be with you every step of the way and we will be praying for you!! ❤️
Thank you Terry! I feel blessed to have this opportunity, especially right now!
Thank you for the support, kind words & prayers!
It’s nice to see your name pop up here! 😀
Cheers!
I’m looking forward to following your adventures via thetrek!
Thank you for following them! 😀
Class of 2017. I only did 925 miles due to an injury. I supported my partner the rest of the way to Mt. Washington where we had issues at home. We plan to finish. We will just become LASH instead of thru hikers.
If you need a ride, give me a message. We are about 3 miles from the trail in Hampton, Tn.
ONLY 925, that is a HUGE accomplishment! I can’t wait to say I made it that far, hah! I’m sorry to hear you had to get off trail but happy to hear you have plans to finish! LASH it up! 😀
I will keep that in mind! Thank you for offering, it’s nice to have resources!
Cheers!
Nice! Very Cool that You have the Opportunity to Follow Your Heart!
I Traveled Xtensively, mostly HitchHiking, during the 70’s & 80’s. Took a Hiatus for 30 odd years, then ReKindled the concept during the Fall of 2019, Hitchin’ 3000 miles up & down the EastCoast. I Bee Glad that I Harnessed the time for the Journey when I did. Much of my Life involved Throwing Myself into the Current, allowing the Stream to carry Me Down through the Tributaries, making the best of where the Journey delivered me. You’ve got a nice approach to fear & You may find that as You face Your Fears, they start dissolving until a similar obstacle presents itself & fear enters not for You Disallowed fear from beeing present. Retaining a bit of Good from each Obstacle is always Good Medicine.
Could not subscribe to Your Journey
WOW Walt! I bet you have some insane stories from all of your travels. It sounds like you have truly had the opportunity to live it up, that’s incredible!
As you have followed your stream around I plan to do the same. What a beautiful sentiment!
I like to learn from my fears. Find why they exist and then tap into them and learn how to control how they control me! Retaining good from each side of the coin is a lifestyle choice in my opinion! People who choose that path often live a more full life I think.
Thank you for this kind message, it treated my mind very well!
Cheers!
Holy guacamole, are you me?
Your story is almost the same as mine.
I was demoted from bar manager from a place that I had poured my heart and soul to for fours years to only be pushed aside, after covid. Someone else was deemed worthier to take my place because they were more willing to “play ball” and not be compensated properly (or ask that employees were).
But on the bright side, I’ve decided to follow my decades long dream of a thru-hike too. April 1st I will be walking out the bar with my middle fingers in the air. April 2nd I’ll be on Springer with the biggest smile on my face.
Hope to see ya out there! Cheers!
Are you sure this is safe? What about the wild men that live in the woods of the AT? I don’t mean to discourage you, but I hope you’ll have protection of some kind.
Anyway, safe travels, man.
Roberto, How much time have you spent on the trail? People asked me weren’t you afraid (fill in the blank) and my answer was always no. My biggest concern were ticks!
The fact that you said Guacamole confirms that yes I am you! Haha!
Seriously though, what an insane similarities in our stories. The day I got fired I was having a meeting about employee compensation and fighting for our rights as FOH staff. They didn’t like what I had to say or that I, as a female, was challenging their opinions. I’m sorry to hear you had a similar experience. It is not a fun thing to go through after pouring your soul into a place. Toxic Jobs = Toxic Relationships.
I look forward to April 1st with you! Stick that middle finger up HIGH & PROUD. You deserve this and owe it to yourself for dealing with that. I’m excited for you!
I hope our paths cross on the trail!
😀
Excellent intro. I look forward to following your journey!
Thank you for following! I am excited to be able to share this journey!
Best of luck on your journey and thanks for this blog! The AT is on my bucket list and your story is very inspiring!
What you wrote was truly inspirational. I am an old man now but I hiked the LT when I was 17. The experience still keeps me sane when I get lost in this insane world. I always wanted to do the whole AT. Your dream is incredible and your perspective is way beyond your years. Best of luck in your endeavor. Whatever happens, you will have enriched yourself and be a better person for the rest of your life.
Jeff,
Thank you for this kind and supportive message! I am excited to have such a journey to look back on in the years to come and to share that with people who come into my life in the future. I have a lot to learn and a lot to give! I hope my perspective grows even more each step I take. Thank you!
I’m so excited to follow your journey! Good luck and keep your eye on the prize! I’m hiking the LT this summer in sections so any words of wisdom you learn along the way would be greatly appreciated!
Enjoy your hike on the LT! It’s one of my favorite places and also on my bucket list! There is so much joy in these Green Mountains! I hope to share what I learn all along the way! I’m there are going to be a lot of things as time goes along!
Stay tuned! 😀
Reading through your story felt like you were talking about me!! It is also my lifelong dream to thru hike the AT! I am so happy for you and excited to have the opportunity to follow you through this amazing adventure! Good luck!!
I am excited my story and adventure are so relatable! Thank you for following my adventure and the kind words! 😀
Get out there when you can! The trail is waiting for you! 😀
Thank You Jocelot for Your Reply & Your choice of words is indicative of You beeing a Deep Thinker. As others have mentioned, the Lessons Learned on Your Journey will carry You throughout Your Life!
It’s Comforting to know that You have the Support of Your Family, as did I. As a teenager, I would ask My Mother to drop me off at the Turnpike Entrance & when asked when I would return, my best answer could only bee that I was uncertain, yet I would stay in touch! Looking back, My Parents had to overcome their fears as they knew the Importance of my Journeys! I would always return, typically months later, unannounced, & generally right beefore a Holiday!
Now then, I’m not that tech savvy, & so I wonder if this Blog will serve to Follow Your Journey or Do I need to sign up in a different manner.
Also, will the Blog serve as Your Journal, or will You bee keeping a Journal as well. I can see a Book Developing, & if this bee true, I want in on the first edition! I’ve been involved with Composing a Book for the past coupla years entitled “Question Everything that You once Thought that You Knew”.
As Henry David Thoreau said, “Nothing is so much to bee Feared as Fear”,,,
I am blessed to have the support of my loved ones, it truly makes this adventure feel a lot easier and more doable! I think having support systems in place is the key to success. Having people who won’t let you quit when YOU don’t believe in yourself while everyone else still does. I’m sure you drove your mother mad haha but knowing you would always show up is brave of her. And your dad!
I am also not so tech savvy, setting this up have been the most amount of “computer” I have done in years! This blog will be a good place to follow my journey. I will also be posting photos and other randomness from my adventure on Instagram. There is a link in my profile here!
I intend to use TheTrek blog as a trail journal. I will be talking about everything from my own thoughts, feelings, experiences and trials relating to the trail, to trail updates, shelter experience, gear thoughts and post trail feelings. That being said I also intend to keep a personal journal along the way as well! It has been on my mind for some time to write a book about my life, as I have had a wild one. All the good and bad choices leading me up to this adventure! Stay tuned, it’s on my radar!
I’d love to get my hands on a copy of one of your books when it is ready! Keep me posted.
Thank you !
I love this. I’m so excited for you!! 🙂
Just wondering if You have beegun Your Journey, ,