My Reasons Why I’m Thru-Hiking

The moment I told my boss I was leaving my job to Thru-Hike the Appalachian Trail I knew I had a problem. All she did was ask the simple question; why?

Umming and Ahing

I froze on the spot. I knew I was going. Britta had booked flights to Georgia and we are renting out our room. Though, for the life of me, I could not think of a reason to tell my boss without her thinking that I’m absolutely losing it. Why did I want to sleep in the woods for 6 months when I had a warm bed at home? Why on earth would I want to walk for 10 hours a day when I have a stable job? Would my wife still love me after I stink her out every night for 6 months?

Luckily enough, a small amount of soul searching would give me a lot of answers.

Reason to Hike the AT #1: Become a human vacuum cleaner

Anyone who knows me knows I like my food. My Mom was always told she had racing stripes on her knife and fork; I made it my lifelong goal to be quicker than her. I don’t think I am yet, but on volume, I’ve got her beat. The idea of powering my body with everything and anything has me frothing at the mouth. Fast food, slow food, food that I can choke down while walking. All the cards are on the table. When it comes to clearing space on my phone, the Apps I won’t ever delete are Mcdonald’s and Subway- gotta have those deals at my fingertips.

Of course, there will be gaps in my diet. My nutrition may fall quite short of what my body demands of it. It may even beg me for a salad and some apples every so often. Sure, throw it down the bottomless pit my stomach will have become, I don’t even think it’s going to notice they are in there.

Reason to Hike the AT #2: Marriage Goals

Yeah, this really should have been number 1. My bad. I just got so excited with the food thing, and Im writing this around dinner time.

I feel as if Britta and I have done some pretty cool things in life: we’ve travelled around the world together, bought a house, become foster parents (to animals). There just needs to be that thing to hang our hat on for our first decade of marriage. The AT has always been a part of our time together, even when we met at summer camp in Northeastern Pennsylvania.

Now, I don’t really subscribe to the mindset of ‘If we can make it through this, we can make it through anything!’. I think there will be harder things in life than this relationship-wise. But ill be, if she can still look me in the eyes and say ‘I Love You’ after I’ve eaten my body weight at a pizza buffet, that might just mean something.

Reason to Hike the AT #3: Marathon Days

I’ve always wanted to run a marathon, but after running multiple half-marathons I feel pretty disheartened. I would have to turn around and do all that AGAIN? Nah, doesn’t seem like its for me to be honest. Completing a training run of 16 miles on a work night seems nigh on bonkers.

But what if there’s a loophole? What if I could achieve my goal in a roundabout way? The answer: Walking 26.2 miles in a day. Judging by everyone’s blogs and vlogs those numbers are attainable. Heck, there’s even the 4 state challenge on the AT, which is 45 miles in a day. Sure, I won’t be posting my time on strava; but a 13-hour long marathon is still a marathon!

Reason to Hike the AT #4: YOLO

To be honest, this one could have also fallen under reason 2 but I wanted more reasons. YOLO (You Only Live Once) has been co-opted to mean something reckless; which you could argue that living in a tent for 6 months is just that. However, it’s a pretty great way of living. Whether being haunted by the looming specter of an inevitable demise (Me), or just a thrilling passion for life (Britta), you only got one life kid.

Its a pretty privileged position to have these choices. To have been able to save enough money and have enough community to support us. To other people there may be 1000 better ways to use the money and time. This is the best way I can think of using them. I just hope at the end of my life, this is right up there with the best months of my life.

Reason to Hike the AT #5: My Family and Friends

No, this isnt the cute paragraph you think its going to be. This is my way of letting my friends know theyre bloody ruthless. Though they’re always there for me if I need help, a lot of these turds would be relentless if I didnt start the AT after talking about it. I would have to put with 5-10 years of ‘Hey, remember that time you failed at walking?’. The pressure is unbearable to not give them that. We also have friends that have previously hiked the AT who have given some great trail advice, and may slap us in the face if we didnt take it and apply it. Even more recently, my friends at work  gave me an extremely kind monetary ‘going away’ gift; I know a couple of those ladies would turn up at my home with baseball bats, asking for my kneecaps, if I didnt get on this trail.

Not only friends, I also have 2 brothers. You never want to be the butt of the jokes when the 3 of us get together. A simple haircut can give weeks of ammunition. Before you even ask, no, parents dont step in. They might be just as bad. Wonderfully supportive, but you cant be caught out! The thought of family gathering together at Christmas should I chicken out is metaphorically lacing my boots for me.

Reason to Hike the AT #6: Leg Day Everyday

Who isnt looking forward to getting absolutely jacked legs? Come on now. Why bother with all this research about workout plans and diets, when I can just walk and eat like a human dustbin? Yes, my upperbody may resemble my 13 year old self by the end, but these chicken legs are going full rooster mode. I want every quad muscle to be so swole that it looks like I have the lower half of a Greek God, who just happens to be squatting over a cathole to poop.

Soul= Searched

So these are the reasons that are going to take me through the AT. When its all going wrong and im not sure why I’m out there, this is what I’ll look back on. Some of them may seem superficial or not serious but theyre my reasons! Im going to have them written down to carry with me wherever I go. So when I enter a Mcdonalds in Virginia or New York, and I order 5 burgers; I will look down at my list, smile, and say ‘That’s living alright’.