Everything hurts

One ibuprofen, two ibuprofen, three ibuprofen, four. More ibuprofen, more ibuprofen, more, more, more.

That’s a little poem about my favorite vitamin. Even though I’m taking my prescription nerve relaxer and muscle relaxer, and Tylenol PMs along with daily ibuprofen, everything hurts like a mofo. Stand up, snap, crackle, and pop. Sit down. Pop, snap, and crackle. Stretching and all that fun stuff aren’t helping as much as I thought they would. On the bright side, my shoulders and neck no longer are killing me every day from my pack, so that’s cool.

Missing my ladies

Puting everything in a backpack and heading out somewhere new was a lot easier when it came with orders from Uncle Sam. My two deployments made me think this would be an easy obstacle to overcome. Like most assumptions about the trail and how I would handle it, I was wrong.

It’s not been as easy to communicate with the home base as I thought it would be. I mean, why the heck don’t these mountains have service? What the hell’s up with that? I didn’t consider the fact that I’m in a different time zone. So when I do have service, some of my good morning texts have not gone over so smoothly because who the hell wants to be woken up an hour early for work? Not my wife, that’s for sure.

I appreciate the dopamine hit that I get from actually talking to her. The sensation feels even better when I get to have an entire conversation without the phone dropping out or random hikers yelling in the background.

This hike has been a real ball-buster, knee-wrecking, ankle-turning, mental breakdown of a test. Without her, I definitely would have thrown in the towel. Emotional support matters out here, for sure! So thanks, Abby. Also I miss my puppy.

Trail providing

If you remember, I was telling you about how the trail was handing out lessons. It’s still 100% handing me lessons and ass-whippings. I’ve learned that frozen mud will make your left side hurt after your fall climbing over a downed tree. It also hurts when you face-plant because some random, vindictive stick decides to be a dick.

I’ve learned that if you need something, put it into the universe. I somehow lost a water bottle, and it was very frustrating trying to manage the day with a tiny bottle. I said out loud, “I need a new fucking bottle. This is ridiculous”. Pretty sure that was a direct quote. Well, as fate would have it, I came across a folded pair of blue jeans and the largest smart water bottle that they make. I looked around to ensure there wasn’t a bare-bottomed man who needed it. Luckily I found no such thing. So the bottle was mine.

I found that I didn’t want to carry a bear canister anymore after it fell out of my y strap and started down the side of the mountain. To my thighs’ delight, it stopped about ten feet down, coming to rest against a tree. Between that and the fact that it weighs three pounds, I was ready to ditch it. I went to Mountain Crossings to get a bear bag instead. They didn’t have one in stock, so I bought a wet sack and rope. Then I went outside and saw a hikers box, and I didn’t expect that because it was a store. I opened it, and to my delight, there was a brand new shiny, but not actually shiny, Ursack. Score!! The final example is my lips became so chapped it looked like I was sporting a pair of clown lips. It was awful for about three days. People were talking about town food, and they couldn’t wait for five guys and salads. To which I volunteered that I would kick a baby for some chapstick. You bet your ass the trail provided my lips with beautiful sweet relief in the form of a new chapstick tube.

You want how much for a coke ?!

 

Do you know what else can hurt out here? Your pockets. It is my belief some places are trying to get over on hikers. For instance, the NOC’s general store had the audacity to charge $3.50 for a bottle of Coke and $2 for a pack of Swiss Miss hot cocoa. $3.50 to use the washer and $3.50 to use the dryer. The list of overpriced items could go on forever and ever.

Are there places where you can expect to pay that much for stuff? Sure. However, I don’t think places,, where you would expect to spend that much should have only one of the four washers and dryers working.

I’m not trying to put down anybody’s business or anything like that. The property was absolutely lovely, and it was a hell of a lot better than sleeping out in the 20° weather. I’m just trying to say watch your back out here, and not everybody has the hiker’s best interest at heart. The things that made me feel like I was being taken advantage of have been few and far apart, but still, it’s been a part of the journey. So make sure you read your far-out reviews and everything available about hostels, shuttles, stores, and people you choose to conduct business with.

Milestones and mindset

Since the last time I updated you, I’ve had ups and downs. I’ve crossed into my first new state. When I saw the North Carolina state line, I won’t lie. I shed a thug tear. When I got to the bly tree, I gave Bob Marley a proper tribute with a guy named Alabama Chowder. To reach mile 100, Mount Albert made me dig deep because that climb sucked.

I’m proud that I made it all the way to the Smokies without digging a cathole. Toilets all the way. Unfortunately, that streak came to an end.

I’m one of the geniuses who got to do Clingmans Dome in the rain/sleet, and fog. The entire trail was ice covered. After busting my ass again, I decided the bypass trail was the wise decision. So I and my buddy Aaron who joined me for some of the Smokies, took the road all the way down to the next gap. Having a mountain road to ourselves was, as the kids say, pretty dope. But before that happened, I hit the 200-mile marker.

I’m looking forward to finishing up the Smokies so I can ditch some more weight with the cold weather stuff I’m still lugging around. I’m feeling stronger. I’m losing weight. I’m hiking the Appalachian Trail.

I’m also really upset at Aaron Rodgers for telling me he’s leaving me while I was enjoying a lunch on top of wayah bald.

I’ll try to be better at updates in the future. I’ve just been concentrating on not dying. I figured I hadn’t seen most of the trail since I’ve been looking at my feet, trying not to eat it again.