Pre-Hike Insomnia

I’ve had trouble sleeping, my mania is all over the place.  I think of the trail during the entire day, but I can’t seem to feel like I’m making any progress. So many things have to fall into perfect place.

Two days ago I saw a doctor for the first time in two years. My number one complaint is sleep. I just need to get a good night’s sleep every night. At that point I hadn’t slept for more than two hours at a time in over two weeks and was battling a bad case of bronchitis. I’m so very tired!

It’s 4:10 a.m., and I haven’t been to sleep at all tonight.  At 10 p.m. I went to my room for a little Netflix before bed. At 11, I took my prescribed medication that has worked very well for the last two nights.  At 1:30 a.m., I took a second, which is the max the doctor had suggested.

I suppose this is my anxiety causing my mind to spin out of control. Why am I anxious you ask?

Well, my loves, in what’s now three and a half hours I have my first therapy appointment in a very long time! And this will not be my permanent therapist; she is here to see me through crisis and help me establish therapy with the right provider.

Tomorrow, I have to convince this person why hiking the Appalachian Trail is a good idea. I have to convince her that sharing my story is important, letting people see how important it is to “come out of the straight jacket” and ask for help when you need it. And she has to help me find a long-term therapist that will not only support my dream, but be available electronically while I’m out there.

I can hear the trail calling me. May 18, 2020, Damascus to Katahdin flip and Damascus to Springer flop. I’m gonna end my hike bouncing and skipping down those stairs of the approach like a little kid on Christmas morning!!

Wish me luck!

I hike for myself. I hike for others. I hike for mental health.

Featured image via Mackenzie Wieder 

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Comments 1

  • Mike : Jan 13th

    Beth glad u made decision to hike the pct this yr! Many folks have prehike anxiety and insomnia part of the anticipation of something novel challenging and transformative in many ways There r many kindred spirits in this diverse tribe of thru hikers you will get lots of Ontario support and may need ongoing mental health care along the way there are very qualified therapists avail electronically that help w healing using transformation like spiritual emergence they would be listed under transpersonal psychologists hiking this trail can be the best activity for your mind body and soul and these folks can be part of your path towards transformation and recovery. On an ongoing basis they can assist w reintegration and incorporation of insights. You will develop resilience and fluidity as you practice a walking meditation toward Manning aspects of self actualization that can be transferred to
    Pllife and beyond Good Luck Mike 2Spirits


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