Pre-Trail 2017 / Homeless and the Trail
For those of you that don’t know my circumstances I am in a long term faith based recovery program here at the Panama City Rescue Mission in Panama City, Florida. I have been here since October 19th 2015, Its getting close to a year. Living at a mission is not easy, but it also will humble you real fast. In my case, I found out my problems that I thought would tilt the world off it’s axis and stop it from turning were nothing in comparison to others.
This morning at around 4am I woke up to a crying woman outside my window. My bedroom is on the street side at the front entrance to the mission. I laid there for a minuet listening to her conversation with herself. She had hit rock bottom. Talking to God and herself how she cant live this way anymore. She cant do this anymore. This is not how she lives.
I got up and got dressed and went outside to see what I could do to help this woman. She wouldn’t give her name. Her so called man slept inside the mission last night, he got a hot meal, hot shower, warm bed. He woke up to breakfast and the TV on the news. He didn’t have a care in the world, and she was not on his mind at all. I asked her where she slept last night. She said she slept on the porch of the TRAP HOUSE down the street. They were making drug deals over her head while she tried to sleep. I asked her why she didn’t stay at the women’s shelter, she said because she smokes pot. I asked her if she had family to call and help her, she said her family wont have nothing to do with her. All she wants is a bus ticket home and her old man wont even buy that for her. I asked her if she could work for a couple weeks and save the money to buy the bus ticket, she replied she has a 6 pound hernia and cant do anything. I asked her if she has considered getting into the women’s recovery program, and she said there is no way she would ever do that. I told her I would pray for her and walked away. I reached out to her but she would not reach back.
People have different trails they walk. Some of those trails are flat and smooth and easy going. But some of the trails are rocky, straight uphill, slippery, jagged, and slow going. Using myself as an example, throughout my life I have chosen the rough rocky uphill, slippery, jagged, slow going path. I was hard headed, stubborn, selfish and self centered. But those trails I have walked over the course of my life time have brought me to this very moment that I wouldn’t change for anything.
I am discovering that my life’s trail has given me an education, it has made me strong and determined, it has also now humbled me and softened my heart. It has opened my eyes and tuned in my senses. I am much more aware of my trail surroundings. I actually care now if someone is walking the trail I once walked and will reach out to them to help them up and over those jagged rocks. I will give someone the shirt off my back if they are cold, or the food off my plate if they are hungry. My trail has taught me that this world is not here for me, but I am here for this world.
So, let me give you something to chew on. While your out there on your trail understand that even though you may be walking in the same direction, at the same time, in the same weather, in the same conditions, each person is carrying their own pack that is weighted down with their life’s burdens. You don’t know why they are walking the trail, but they are walking on their own trail walking out their destiny. So show some love and reach out to others. They may need you to help them up those jagged rocks on their trail they are walking.
See You On The Trail
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