20 Ways Procrastinators Prepare for a Thru-Hike

  1. Read facts about the trip you want to take.
  2. Sleep.
  3. Read more stuff about the trip you want to take.
  4. Ignore anyone that says you should start exercising now if this is is a high endurance trip.
  5. Sleep some more.
  6. Do a lot of gear reviews.
  7. Dont panic.
  8. Buy gear, it’s fun (except the fittings, they suck..).
  9. Do more reading, in bed.
  10. Stare at your backpack like it’s your enemy.
  11. Try to make friends with your backpack.
  12. Kick your backpack into a corner.
  13. look at funny pictures of people falling over in their backpacks.
  14. Go buy more gear.
  15. Stuff it into your backpack. It only weighs 15lbs! That is because you are awesome; or it might be because the only thing you have in there are your sleeping bag, your pocket rocket stove without the fuel canister, and Little Debbie Snack cakes and canned sausages.
  16. Remind yourself that you will not turn into that girl from that Lbook. Hide under covers.
  17. Order bus tickets, AWOL, download apps, make phone calls….all under the covers. 
  18. Convince your doctor that you are not smoking anymore and that you will be able to get all of your seizure Meds..then call your best friend and make sure that you didn’t just lie to your doctor..about the second part at least. Crawl back under the covers.
  19. Tell absolutely everyone you know that you are doing this, so there is no chance that you will back out.
  20. Panic because you look at the date and realize that you leave in just two days. TWO DAYS! Hurry, get the rest of your crap, how does this bag work again? I swear it just fit yesterday. I don’t understand how it just gained weight when I took stuff out! Why am I yelling? Where is my mascara? Yes, really. Oh my gods, I think I might be sick, no not nerves sick, like sick sick… Somebody please hand me a DayQuil, and my pillow.





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