Telling Your Mother that you are leaving
As the title states I had to do this very thing recently and it was not the most pleasant experience. My mother and I have a great relationship. We care about each other and being the eldest son I have had longest spanning amount of time to get to know my parents. What they like and what they are more or less uncomfortable with. Oddly leaving for college and living on my own was less of a conundrum than my decision to head off to the Appalachian trail.
If you have some time, can we talk about you leaving?
Have I really been so busy/distant that I have been giving off the impression that I would not make time to talk?
I of course said yes and came home an hour earlier than normal to speak to my mother.
The conversation started as I expected it to. “I am not very excited to have you go on the appalachian Trail. Why do you not do something easier? Is there anybody else in your class doing this? You know there are a lot of dangers for you to go out there?” But then the bombshell was dropped. ” I want to go with you.” How do you tell your mother no? Like this, “mom, I know you could do the trail just fine. But you have the family to take care of, you are needed here. And I do not think you will gain anything from it if you are joining me to watch over me. At first I wanted to go to prove myself to myself, I wanted to go because I may never get this chance again, I wanted to go to understand my value after a severe break up, but now I need to go to know what I can become and where I will go after the Hike. If we go together and your intent is to try to turn me away from the trail. I think I would miss out on the point of going.”
Please let me know how you handled convincing loved ones that what you are doing is important enough to make all of the sacrifices of time, money, and effort to do.
P.S. my mother and I are on mutual ground now. She understands that I will not be steered away from going. And I understand that it will be important to make sure friend and family are aware of where I am more often than not.
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