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The Customary Why
Hi, I’m Camille. Cam for short, but you’ll probably know me best as “Peebz,” the Peanut Butter Prophet hiking the Appalachian Trail in 2025.
So, here it is. After a lifetime of “next years” and “one days,” it’s time to do this. It’s a thru-hike twenty years in the making, and the time has come to write the customary “why I am doing this” article. Still, I think you’ll come to understand my how and why on a deeper level over the course of my 2,000+ mile walk from Georgia to Maine. I know we just met, but you’re pretty smart. I know you’ll get it.
Here’s a quick overview to get started:
Blue Ridge Mountains, circa 2006
I grew up in North Carolina, and the Blue Ridge Mountains will always be my home. I’ve lived just around the bend, and far away in the biggest cities. I spent my twenties travelling everywhere in between, through almost all the beautiful landscapes that make up this country. I did so in my mighty vessel, my mothership, Susan the Subaru. But you’ll get to know her later, I’m sure. It feels fitting that the only part of the Continental U.S. I have yet to explore is New England. Don’t worry, White Mountains (Woban-aden-ok). We’ll get to know each other soon enough.
“Whenever I Lost Myself in the Woods, I Found Myself.”
Great Smoky Mountains, 2015. Hiding behind bubble wands to mask the physical and emotional discomfort of a compression tank top.
This billion (with a B!) year-old mountain range has always been the place I feel most like myself, but what ‘myself’ means has changed a lot since I was adventuring around the Blue Ridge as a wee one. I identify as Queer and Trans; Genderqueer, to be exact. And before I even had the labels and means to understand this for myself, Nature knew it first. There were times in my earlier life when I felt outside of myself. My body didn’t feel like mine, and I shrunk myself down to spare myself the humiliation of any perceptive glance. But then I lost myself in the trees and the rivers. And whenever I lost myself in the woods, I found myself; I was a freer, braver person.
You see, Nature doesn’t get hung up on my pronouns (they/them, by the way). In fact, Robin Wall Kimmerer, Potawatomi botanist and author of the transformative Braiding Sweetgrass* makes a case for why Nature needs a better set of pronouns kinself. These mountains hold the trauma and grief of generations. But ki also holds the undeniable and inextinguishable spirit and joy of so many who have sought refuge here. When the human experience feels too heavy, the Appalachians Mountains have been there for me and so many others, saying “Here. Let me take some of that for you.” In return, we offer our stewardship and respect. I’ve changed a lot– but the Mountains have too. We’ve grown together; and after the devastation brought by Hurricane Helene, I’m hoping we can continue our healing journeys together, too.
“If We Truly Want to Diversify the Outdoor Industry, We Need to Highlight All the Good That Being on Trail Can Do.”
2021. Fun fact: the Darn Tough socks I’m wearing in this photo are coming with me on trail! Not sponsored…. yet…
I also offer myself as representation for others from marginalized communities, proof that we belong out here. I want to empower more people to get out there and form intimate connections with Nature for themselves.
There’s so many well-intentioned warnings carried out to queer folks, people of color, and women hiking on long distance trails; but these pieces of advice, while well-intentioned, don’t always reflect the reality of the communities found out there, and ultimately end up discouraging people from getting outside in the first place. If we truly want to diversify the outdoor industry, we need to highlight all the good that being on trail can do for people from all walks of life. That’s what #QueerJoyintheWoods is all about!
“In Short, this Thru-Hike is About Exploring What it Means to Redefine Home.”
2024. Queer Joy in the Woods, along the PCT to be exact.
In short, this thru-hike is about exploring what it means to redefine home. It’s redefining home in relation to a place, and to people. It’s redefining home within your body and Self. But most importantly, it’s about reconnecting with Nature in a society that depends on that connection being severed to function. Knowing Nature, loving Nature, caring for Nature, is what will save us.
And in doing so we save each other.
* This isn’t an affiliate link or anything. I gain nothing from it. But if you’re going to buy yourself a copy (and you should!), might I suggest you get it from Paperbacks and Fry Bread? They are an Indigenous-owned bookstore based in North Carolina. They’re really rad. There’s a young adult version too, which is a great resource for teachers as well.
NOTE: In 2015, manic pixie dream girls were all the rage and I really fancied myself one, and for some reason my frontal-lobe-deficient brain thought it would be very quirky and cool for me to carry bubbles. But it was not very Leave No Trace of teen Cam to bring them that close to a water source, so do better than that please. Let’s all aspire to be better than the eighteen-year-old version of ourselves, anyway.
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Comments 12
I look forward to following your adventures… best of best luck moving forward!
Please leave your synthetic surfactant bubbles out of the woods. Those cute bubbles land and leave a residue that no animal would like.
Thank you for mentioning this respectfully! I meant to include a disclaimer about exactly that, but clearly I missed it. The post has been updated to include a note. Happy Trails!
Great trail name! You already have a very positive attitude; so, I look forward to reading along as you complete the trail!
Ah yeah, not to get hung up on gender identity but it’s nice to have more trans folks to share the trails with! It’s nice to feel safe when I see someone like me in the mountains.
Great intro Cam, and great photos!! Can’t wait to read all about your adventures… love the name Susan for a Subaru!
Love you so. Thanks for keeping us updated on your journey 💚 it’s been a long time in the making!!
It’s been long overdue for a full queer trans perspective in this space! I can’t wait to read about your travels.
Can’t wait to see you out on the trail as you crush miles and stereotypes about who belongs in the outdoors – the epitome of queer joy in the woods!!
I’m pleased to see the pronoun ki used! I haven’t seen anyone use it outside of the circle of people who introduced me to it, and it’s nice to come across it randomly.
I love thinking about how old the Appalachians are, and how walking on them is adding to and echoing the millions of years of animals who also walked on them.
I’m excited to follow along with your posts- good luck!
PS It’s always nice to see other trans people 🙂 hi!
Hey Cam,
Nice post! Always great to hear from another genderqueer thru hiker/blogger. Best of luck on the AT this year!
Looking forward to following along- awesome photos too!