What We Carry With Us

Last week, I posted all about my gear and the things I need to be comfortable and survive. Today, I think it’s time to share some of reasons I have for hiking and some of that extra baggage I’ll be carrying.

First of all, not all baggage is bad. Some of what we carry is the love, support, and positive vibes of our loved ones. The well wishes wash over us like that inevitable AT rain I’ve heard so much about. My heart is full to the brim with the hope and happiness of others as I prepare to start my journey and it’s beautiful. I will carry their love with me for each one of these 2,192 miles.

My own baggage feels immense right now. I have begun to embrace the solitude of this journey and I am realizing that gear is the least of my worries. My fear and anxiety that I’ve written about before is here.

The guilt of leaving everything and everyone I know for six months has arrived.

The regret of not doing this sooner has joined me.

The regrets and guilts and wrong choices and mistakes have all seemed to follow me here.

The grief I have not allowed myself to process and accept for years is starting to pour out of me.

The overwhelming feeling that I’m not strong enough, fit enough, brave enough has found its way into my backpack.

I am not going to let any of these things stop me. Instead I am going to remind myself of all these things and remember that everyone out here has baggage that I cannot see. Everyone out here is working on something.

And that’s amazing and beautiful and ok. We are all on our own journey of nature therapy.