With Winter Comes Complete Mental Collapse
It snowed in Montana last night. Which means that in 2014, it will snow TEN MONTHS OUT OF THE YEAR. I always have a dumpload of questions taking up space in my brain, and without nice weather and outdoor fun to occupy me, my mindless questions are being hijacked with unanswerable thoughts about the AT. Here are the questions I kept track of yesterday, along with the uninvited thru-hike anxiety.
Q) Why do dogs circle the yard looking for a place to poop? What makes that inch of grass more deserving than that one?
A) Why am I going to hike the AT?
Q) Am I officially low-functioning if I eat this chili straight from the can without heating it up?
A) Are Mountain House dinners worth paying 10x as much as Lipton Sides? Are all powdered alfredos created equally?
Q) These boots are cute. I like these boots. It’s cold and I need retail therapy and I am going to buy these boots even though they cost as much as my rent.
A) Am I really going to wear Crocs as camp shoes? Really? Do I still own my Crocs from when Crocs were acceptable? Does anyone sell Crocs anymore?
Q) I’m not going to shower because Bozeman water bills cost as much as those boots.
A) This is good preparation for the hike.
Q) Thus far, it has snowed in January, February, March, April, May, June, and September. It will continue to snow until I leave in March. Why do I live in a place where the only snow-free months are July and August?
A) If we start in the middle of March, how much snow will we be hiking through for the first few weeks? Montana in June level? Montana in September level? October? May?
So none of my inane thoughts are getting resolved, and the hike is still six months away. Montana winters make me want to curl into my Snuggie and rewatch all six seasons of Breaking Bad. I’ll keep my mental progress (or deterioration) updated here as we keep the preparation moving forward. I filled this post with pictures of my impending winter. I’m sorry if anyone wasted their precious time reading through this. I hope you didn’t lose too many brain cells.
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