Hiking 120 Miles and Screaming Uncontrollably

At this point in time it was after midnight and we continued walking through the darkness. The moon was just a sliver, but it was beautiful. It didn’t rise tonight until after midnight. Once it did, it was bright and beautiful and once again the stars were incredible. The views of the Milky Way were like nothing else.

We walked for hours until we came to the next water source. Everyone was exhausted and we dropped our packs and took a long break. Then we sat there for a long time before we even attempted to get water. We had to navigate around some mud to get up to a spigot near a cow trough area. Around this time we had finally gotten our remaining mileage below 30 miles. Of course 30 miles is a humongous amount of mileage to remain. But it was a relief to know that we were getting closer. We had almost reached the hundred mile mark of this ultra thru hike adventure.

When we left this last water source we knew there would be no more water until town. Part of me thought I didn’t even need any more water. It was so cold out and I was hardly drinking anything. But obviously I filled up because I knew that the sun would rise again soon and we would be hot with the heat of the day.

Those next couple of hours were some of the hardest. I continued to follow behind Sidequest and 9 Lives. And the trend kept up of me falling asleep as I walked. Around this time I also started to get some kind of a muscle spasm. It’s hard to explain what exactly it was. But the first couple times it happened it felt like someone hit me from behind. Like someone was pushing me forward, jolting me ahead. I turned around to see if anyone was there and there was nothing there. It was like my brain was starting to shut off, and it was signaling my legs to spasm to wake me. I would feel this rush up through the back of my right leg, almost kicking me in the butt. It wasn’t painful by any means, but it was very strange. It was almost a warning, letting me know that I was getting too tired. When I would feel it, it would wake me, and I would open my eyes and try to stay as mentally present as possible.

Over this next section of mileage we had to do a little bit of route finding, which wasn’t ideal. It was dark and the trail was a bit less obvious. We were no longer on a clear cut dirt road and instead were walking along a dirt trail. We almost went the wrong way a couple different times so we were checking often. Then we came to a big ditch that we had to jump over. 9 Lives got so scared because she said that she could see the ditch moving. It looks like it was moving in a way as if the ditch was pulling the ground around it in. She was scared to jump over it because it looks like it was just gonna take her in.

During this time everyone was experiencing the most hallucinations. Sidequest reported that 9 Lives purple soles of her shoes were leaving long trails on the ground behind her. He was following along these purple stripes on the ground from her shoes. I also saw many bright lights just off the trail, which made me turn my head quickly. But when I would look to the side I would notice that nothing was there. There were many times when I saw something move in the brush and I jolted to look. But nothing was there.

We got up to the top of a hill after a couple of hours and it was around 4 o’clock in the morning. Maybe a little earlier than that. We sat there for a long time and everyone was exhausted. It felt good to rest my body, but we still had almost 22 miles to go for the day. Town felt so far away. We still had over seven hours of walking to go, and that was only if you maintained a good pace.

All of us sat at this next break for a long time resting our bodies. Somehow I still felt very strong and had almost no aches or pains. The biggest obstacle for me was still my tired eyes and my brain, which just seem to be shutting down on me. I could not believe that we had made it so far. We were so close to reaching the 100 mile point of this challenge. A few other hikers that we met this year along the CDT had attempted to do 100 miles through this section. Lost and Found and Mosey, who we started up in glacier with did 100 miles through this section. Along with another hiker named Moose Juice who I met briefly and also writes for the trek. Before we set out to start this journey I knew we had to attempt to break those mileage records if we could.  But those extra 20 miles that we’re tagging onto this challenge are going to make it so much harder. 20 miles doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s 7+ hours of hiking when you’re tired and moving slow.

As we sat here taking our break, 9 Lives talked about pulling out her quilt and napping again. But I told her I could not do the same. I let her know she was welcome to nap and that there was nothing wrong with that at all. If she thought that some sleep was going to fuel her then that was the right choice. But I knew that if I took a nap, I wasn’t sure if I would ever start walking again.

She wound up pulling out her quilt to get warm. Sidequest wanted to take a rest as well. At this point, I knew that I could not stay with them any longer. I was tired and I needed to keep moving. Plus, I was hopeful that when the sun rose on the final night I would feel energized again. I just had to keep moving.

I said goodbye to Side Quest and 9 Lives and continued walking into the darkness alone. The next hour or two before the sun came up were very hard. Now that I was by myself I was even more concerned about falling asleep as I walked. I knew it was dangerous to do under any circumstances. But it was especially dangerous when I was all by myself. That muscle spasm thing kept kicking me in the leg and pushing me. Every time it did so I knew that my eyes were getting far too tired and I needed to maintain staying awake.

I was weaving back and forth on the trail, exhausted. At one point I almost veered off the trail entirely, but I caught myself at the last moment. After that I began checking FarOut more frequently to make sure I was on the right path. It’s so easy to make mistakes when your brain is hardly working at all. I was on auto pilot and just trying to keep going. But then the sun began to rise on this last morning of the challenge.

The sun finally began to rise! It was officially the final morning of my challenge.

As the sun came up, I felt new life fill me. A shift began in me. My eyes were no longer as tired and droopy. As the sun rose, I felt filled with energy. The sunrise was beautiful. And I was just about to get off of this dirt road and onto a paved road. There was so much hiking to go, but the sun gave me with hope. I was getting closer to the end.

When I got onto the gravel road I felt like new. At this time, I had hardly even notice that I hadn’t taken a break since leaving the others. I hadn’t stopped to sit once since I left 9 Livds and Sidequest. I was on a mission to keep going and to stay awake. I had hiked for over 10 miles without stopping. But my body felt incredible and I actually felt more energized than ever.

Even being absolutely exhausted and worn down couldn’t keep a smile off my face as the sun rose.

Then somewhere along this road, I feel very itchy. My ankles felt so scratchy all of a sudden. My mind wasn’t working right so my initial thought was that possibly the detergent from my laundry was making my skin itch. But then I noticed the mosquitoes and realized I was being swarmed. All of the sudden out of nowhere there were loads of mosquitoes on this road. I can’t even remember the last time that we experience mosquitoes on trail. We’re making our way into the fall season of thru hiking, which typically doesn’t require bug spray. In the last town, I actually threw my bug spray out. But of course, here I was, being swarmed by mosquitoes. As if anything had to make this challenge harder.

I picked up the pace to try to avoid the mosquitoes. And thankfully, around this time, the wind picked up and push them all away. Then I had to stop off to dig a cat hole along the side of the road, which is super exposed. For some reason, my only concern was avoiding the sight of cars. But then I had the realization that there were 20+ hikers somewhere out here on this trail around us. There were a lot of names in the recent trail registers. Then here I was, squatted not far off the road doing my business, paying no mind to the idea that hikers could walk by. Luckily none did.

That first section of paved road felt like it went on forever. Originally, I only thought it was about 3 miles or so long but it wound up being about 7 miles of pavement. Then after those 7 miles I finally got out onto the highway. This would be the final stretch of the challenge.

Happy as could be as the sun rose this morning!

When I got out to the main road I felt invigorated for some time. The sun rose and filled with a new life. When I first got onto the road there was a climb for a short period of time. But the climbing felt fantastic on my sore knees. The flat monotonous terrain can be very irritating to your tendons and specifically IT band. So as I climbed, I felt a lot of my soreness fade away.

But once the road flattened out again I began to feel pain. Everything hurt. In my mind, I wasn’t even considering the fact that I hadn’t stopped for a break in hours. I didn’t understand why the road was hurting me so bad, but it was. My inner and outer knees were killing me, and my feet began to throb with such intense pain. I stood there briefly along the side of the road and wondered if I could even keep going. Every step was excruciating. I had been feeling so good for the entire first 110 miles of this challenge. Other than my exhaustion. But here I was in the final 10 miles and all I felt was pain.

It certainly went through my mind that I could just hitch these next few miles to town. Then I could come back tomorrow and complete these next 10 or so miles to town. How on earth could I keep walking if every single step was excruciating? I remember walking along the road and literally screaming at the top of my lungs. I was yelling and writhing in pain.  It was so intense with every single step and I had hours of hiking remaining. How could I keep going?

At one point 2 bike packers rolled by me and I hadn’t even notice. They stopped alongside me to ask if I was ok. I hadn’t even realized that I was screaming so loudly that they heard it from a distance. I know it sounds crazy to be screaming as you walk along the road. But there was no one around besides the periodic car that drove by. I didn’t think that anyone could hear me. I let them know that I was ok and they could continue along can.

But within the next hour, I was screaming again and a car wound up pulling around to come and see if I was all right. I thought that I was losing my mind at this point. The hiking was so hard that I couldn’t help but scream. That sounds insane, but I don’t know how else to explain it. I was feeling emotionally empty. The impacts of being awake for almost 50 hours at this point were setting in. I was feeling raw and on the edge. This car drove by to check on me and I explained what I was doing. I said that I was just suffering a lot and I was complaining to myself about it. That’s exactly what I was doing. If I had to hike in excruciating pain, then that was ok. But the pain I was feeling on the inside was so strong, I had to let it out. All I could do was scream.

Walking along the asphalt road was so hot and unbelievably hard.

Around this time I reached a breaking point. The sun was so incredibly hot and was baking me as I walked along the road. But it was windy and the 18 wheeler semi trucks that drove by were gusting wind past me. I tried many times to keep my sun umbrella out, but it just wouldn’t stay in place. The umbrella would smack into me as I walked because of the wind. And then, eventually, I couldn’t help her cry. I covered my face with my umbrella and sobbed uncontrollably. My emotions were right at the surface and I couldn’t fight them off anymore.

As I walked along the road, I cried for a little while. I was so tired and all I wanted to do was stop. But there was no way I was going to give up on this challenge with only a couple hours remaining. I knew that this was going to be the hardest thing that I’ve ever done. That was ok. This was all a part of it.

It was around 9am at this point and I finally got service again. I got a message from 9 Lives asking me where I was. She said that her and Sidequest were about 12 miles from town. That meant that they were almost 3 or 4 hours behind me. I knew that I couldn’t wait for them and I had to keep going. They must have stayed at that spot for an hour or two where I left them.

All I wanted to do was stop and nap and rest and feel better. Every single step was pain. My feet were throbbing like crazy and hurt so bad. One of my toes felt like it was broken. But when I took my shoes off to touch my foot nothing hurt to touch. At this point, I knew that all of the sensation I was feeling was just the exacerbation of this challenge. I wasn’t injuring myself, nothing was broken, nothing was torn. My body was just sending endless signals through it, causing me pain. I started getting random shooting pains through my leg. They would jolt me, and then go away immediately. I’ve had all kinds of injury on trail in the past, so I knew that none of these feelings were that. It wasn’t tendinitis or a torn muscles. This was a completely different pain that I’ve never experienced before. The pain of pushing your body way past anything you would think it is capable of. The pain of a challenge like this.

With about 4 miles to go for the day, I finally sat down for a break. I barely even realized that I hadn’t stopped walking in the last 23 miles. I don’t know how I kept going, but it was all mental. My mind has been so tired that I could not possibly let my body rest. But now my body was so tired that that was all that I needed. I felt wide awake. The only part of me that was causing issues was the endless list of pain and sensation that I was feeling.

I sat there along the side of the road under my umbrella for a brief amount of time. I listened to some music and was scrolling on my phone. My dad had messaged me, concerned whether or not I was still hiking if I was ok. I let him know how close I was to the finish and he was relieved. I didn’t feel the need to mention all of the aches and pains.

When I left that spot I was still in a lot of pain. But some of it had subsided. My feet were still aching like crazy and I still had a bit of inner and outer knee pain. But the rest subsided and it was just what I needed to continue on. On my FarOut map it looked like I was only 2 miles from the finish. But when I actually used Google Maps I realized that the hotel we were headed to was even further than that. I thought I only had 2 miles to go and it was actually 4. That amount of mileage seemed impossible now. How can I walk for over an hour feeling the way I feel right now? But there was no alternative. I had to keep going. If I just walked for another hour then I would be done. Then I could rest for as long as I needed.

That next hour I felt much better. I barely even had to scream to myself over this next section of mileage. That was a good sign. I got closer and closer to Rawlings and was relieved by the distance. And eventually, I turned off the main road and headed towards the part of town where we be staying. We had a reservation for the night at the Hampton Inn and we’ve been daydreaming about Taco Bell since the start of this challenge. We joked that if people asked us why we were doing in 120 mile push we would tell them it was to get Taco Bell. So that was the place I was headed.

After 48 hours I finally got to Rawlins!

By around 11am I was getting closer to town. Then I turned off of the highway and was finally getting near some civilization. There were buildings and other signs of life.  I knew I was getting close. When I only had a mile or two left to the hotel you best believe I stuck my thumb out. I didn’t know if I would actually take a ride or not, but I felt relieved having my thumb out. Thinking that at any minute the walk could be done. This section of the trail walks right through Rawlings and then out of town. So I knew that if I did get picked up, I could just walk back to where I got a ride from. But no one ever picked me up and I walked the entire way.

By noon I was surrounded by buildings. There were gas stations and fast food restaurants. In the distance I could see the golden arches of the McDonald’s, which I knew was right by the hotel. And then before I knew it I was there. I could see the sign for the Taco Bell and the Hampton Inn in the distance. I had made it. I walked to Taco Bell to get food. I was starving because I hadn’t eaten in hours. I had absolutely no appetite at this point. But because there was so little mileage left for the day I wasn’t worried about forgetting to nourish myself. I knew that I was getting to town, no matter what at this point.

Getting to Taco Bell was the greatest relief of my entire life. My work was done. I could rest. Sure, my body was aching like crazy. I knew I still had to walk around a bit and wait for the others to get to town to check into our hotel. But I was done.

The Taco Bell had a staff shortage so I had to walk through the drive-through. That was honestly hilarious. I ordered at the drive-through window and the guy actually forgot about me. I went back up 10 minutes later to see about my food and he apologized for forgetting. But I was in no rush. I was here. I had arrived. I sat in the shade outside of the Taco Bell and I ate my well deserved meal. It was like a reward.

It was so nice to get to Taco Bell! I feasted out front.

I drank a Baja blast and ate a grilled cheese burrito. That’s one of my favorite things on the Cantina menu which is new. Then I ate a couple other things and sat there for a long time. After sitting for about an hour, I finally stood up and my body was so stiff. The soreness and the reality of what we had just done had finally set in. I hadn’t felt sore after a break along the entire challenge until now. But it’s like my mind and my body both knew that I was finished. Luckily though all I felt was intense soreness. I had no major pain and I knew that I had not injured myself. That was my only goal of this challenge. To accomplish it without hurting myself. No challenge is worth sacrificing a thru hike. Completing the continental divide trail is my mission. For the last 48 hours my new mission was this challenge. I wanted to accomplish them both, but not one without the other.

Even after just 2 days of walking I got some crazy tan lines from the KT tape I had put on.

I ate the food at Taco Bell and then I walked across the street to a Starbucks. I wasn’t sure where to hang out for the remaining hours as I waited for the others. It seemed like they weren’t going to be getting into town until around 2pm. So I had about 3 to 4 hours to kill before then. I went into the Starbucks and I got a Frappuccino. Then I sat on one of the comfortable chairs and just rested my body and my eyes.

After getting Taco Bell I headed to Starbucks for a Frappuccino.

Then all of the sudden I realized I fell asleep there in the chair. I hadn’t slept in over 50 hours. I didn’t even know that that was possible. I’ve never stayed up that long before. Not to mention staying up for 50 hours and exercising continuously through that time. I can’t even fathom how many calories I’ve burned in the last 50 hours. My guess would be somewhere between 15 and 20,000?

After I fell asleep in the Starbucks, I decided it was time to move on from there. I figured I could head over to the Hampton Inn and hang out in the lobby. That would be a bit more appropriate than sleeping in the Starbucks. When I got to the Hampton Inn I texted 9 Lives to let her know that I would be there whenever they arrived. And she texted me to say that I could try to check in under her name. That was the best news that I’d ever heard.

The lady at the front desk,l let me check into our room right around 1pm. I headed upstairs and was so excited to shower and rest my body. I took the nicest hot shower of my life. Then I laid in bed. Laying down was the best feeling in the entire world. The totality of this entire situation was finally starting to set in. I just walked 120 miles in 48 hours, almost to the minute. That was my goal the entire time, but I didn’t know if I would accomplish it. There were moments when I thought we were going to do it faster. And there were moments when I wasn’t sure that we would do it at all. But here I was, at the end of the road. I had done it. I can finally rest.

Looking a little bit disheveled after my 120 mile push. But I was so excited to shower and rest.

I laid in bed for about an hour and was completely exhausted. My body was so tired, but my mind had never been more awake. When we had talked about this challenge, I figured that as soon as I got to a room I would crash. But here I was laying in bed wide awake. Within an hour or so 9 Lives and Sidequest arrived. It was so nice to see them after hiking alone for hours. I’d really wanted to finish this all together. But things just don’t always work out the way that you plan. I was glad that I stuck to my own schedule though.

Once I got into the room I took a bathe, which was amazing.

The rest of the day I did absolutely nothing except for lay in bed. I wound up ordering some door dash food for dinner. There was a hibachi place nearby. So I got some sushi and fried rice for dinner. It was the perfect choice. I knew that I needed to nourish my body after all that I’d done to it. After the food arrived I walked next door to grab some drinks. I wanted 4 or 5 drinks to properly fill myself with sugar and also some hydration. I got a body armor, a Baja blast, a Gatorade, and a couple other drinks. I wanted everything.

The only thing that got me out of the room was my desire for beverages.

The array of drinks, and also ibuprofen, that I got for tonight.

Back at the room I ate a bunch of food and then got into bed again. I was surprised that I wasn’t totally exhausted. I wound up laying in bed until super late at night on my phone. But we’re taking the day off tomorrow so I knew I could sleep in for as long as I needed to counteract that. Eventually I rolled over and managed to fall asleep though. What a day it’s been. 

All of the food that I got from the hibachi restaurant. They gave me so much yum yum sauce! Which I was psyched about.