Hurting But I’m Truckin’ On–Bound for Pinedale
As I made Dubois, a thousand miles into my SOBO CDT hike, I hurt all over. The “Q” word was on my lips. “I want to go home,” I told my wife. She’d driven out to Wyoming from Michigan to visit me on my walk. “Let’s get you cleaned up and fed first,” she replied. She knew my head wasn’t straight
I’d banged my ankle during a river crossing and every downward step hurt enough to make me cry out if I wasn’t steeled for it. Along with the numb toes that just about every long haul hiker gets after being on trail for awhile; I wanted to end that discomfort.
A night in the Stage Coach Motor Inn with a long soak in their hot tub has me feeling considerably better. One more night will dull the ache enough to put me back on track. Beer and food have lined my stomach, and my wife figuring out how to visit me again in Colorado or New Mexico has eased my soul.
What really helped me get back on track were the lists I’d written before leaving on this journey. Because I’d told everyone what I was doing, as soon as I’d suggested in a blog post I might be done, the support for continuing flooded in. Some more profane and blunt than others. For example one kind soul wrote to me:
“I’ve thought about it quite a bit.
The joy and love rushing through you upon the sight smile smell and touch of your bride…
GET THE FUCK OVER IT!
One does not scheme and research and test and retire and endure pain on such a fundamentally individual soul cleansing walk a bout, to find giggles and hugs.
Pain. Loathing. Loss. That’s a big part of the reward. They promote growth, MORE love and appreciation, peace.
The familial visits may be creating TOO MUCH anxiety? At first glance, exciting. Comforting. But they are fucking with your head.
I wish I was there.
Love you my brother”
How can I not keep walking with support and love like that? Plus, I figured out how to ride the rest of the way to Mexico!
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