Why I’m Hiking the Triple Crown

Do I have to write one of these?

I wrote off writing one of these types of posts, at first. I considered them geared towards newbie thru-hikers, so they can get a grasp of their “why” before they head out into a journey of unknowns. So they have something to refer back to when the hardships set in.

As someone more seasoned, I know what I’m getting myself into. I know I have what it takes to do another one successfully, barring something unavoidably hike-ending like a broken leg. What I’m trying to say is that my mentality alone won’t take me off a trail, I’ve proven that to myself time and time again. So do I really need to reflect on my “why” again, sitting pretty at the last lap of the Triple Crown?

The answer is yes.

First, it never hurts to revisit your motivations for doing something significant. If anything, it will further solidify the motivation to finish what I started. Second, more importantly, my reasons for hiking have undoubtedly evolved, as have I, over the past five years since hiking the AT. They’ve evolved because I’ve evolved.

Accidental Triple Crowner

I didn’t go into the AT with the goal of becoming a Triple Crowner. Far from it, actually. The AT had always been on the back burner of the back of my mind since childhood, then a fantasy that other people did. Eventually I let it become a reality for me.

Back in 2020 the goal was to hike the AT, magically change everything wrong with me in six months or less, and then move on with my new and improved life. It was a well-intended yet flawed plan. I figured if I liked thru-hiking enough, maybe someday I’d do the PCT as well, but had no set plans. Once I heard the horror stories of the poo-flavor-infused cow pond water of the CDT, I said I would never do that trail. That I didn’t care about becoming a Triple Crowner. 

Obviously I’ve changed my tune. 

But let’s back up a bit and re-enter my mindset before the AT.

Why I hiked the AT

I don’t remember ever actually writing out a “why I’m hiking” list pre-AT. I wish I had. For the purposes of this post it would have been easier to recall where my head was at five years ago. I’ll have to do my best to tap into that perspective now. I won’t go into great detail of my life before the AT. If you’re interested you can read more about it in my first post: From Kel Bel to Meg Griffin to Toddler Snacks: An Origin Story

The TL;DR (too long, didn’t read) version is that by age 29 I was deeply unhappy in the cage I had surrounded myself with. The corporate grind, my inner demons, and a rapidly progressing alcohol-addiction-in-denial had become a trap and entirely too much. I needed to break free. I needed to do something BIG. Something dramatic and bold.

My list of “Whys” would have looked something like this:

1. Burnout

My corporate job has left me unsatisfied, depressed, anxious, and exhausted. I can’t do it anymore and need to pivot to something else. Before I pivot, I need a break and transitional period.

2. Freedom

Due to #1, I need some fun and adventure in my life. I want to do something just for ME and on MY terms, societal expectations disregarded.

3. Solution

A friend who’s done it told me the AT changed their life. I want to work on my relationship with alcohol. I’ll finish the trail with a whole new mindset and outlook on life. I’ll want to party less and will be able to drink normally without going overboard all the time. (Yes, at the time I grossly underestimated and misunderstood addiction and fully believed walking in the woods would cure me.)

4. Confidence

I’ve always struggled with this. I want to accomplish something significant and prove to myself that I can do hard things in order to boost my self-confidence.

5. Passion

I feel innately passionate about the outdoors and backpacking, and have since I was a child. I want to follow this passion, gain experience and spend more time doing this hobby than I have in the past.

6. Intuition

I just have a gut feeling this is meant for me, and that I’ll be good at it.

I changed my mind about the Triple Crown

When I finished the AT I knew I wasn’t done thru-hiking. Mentally I was ready to be back to creature comforts of civilization and physically my achy knees had a ways to go to fully heal, but I knew I’d be back for more, someday. The PCT was a definite future plan. The CDT became a maybe, no longer off the table.

I’m sitting here thinking about it, and realizing I’m not exactly sure when or why the shift happened and I started saying “yes, I definitely want to do the CDT, too.” I think it was a chain reaction of that exact confidence I was hoping to gain going into the AT.

I knew standing atop the Katahdin sign that I was a successful, badass thru-hiker, so if I could do that, I could do other hard things. Like getting sober. Fighting my addiction was the hardest thing I’ve done. Once sobriety clicked for me, I knew no trail would be a harder journey than that.

It also didn’t hurt that that journey involved an epiphanous grappling with my own mortality. When you find yourself bargaining with a higher power to live another day, the things you once hesitated to do seem more urgent, more possible on the other side of that experience. If I could beat the odds and survive addiction and come out better off because of it, I could surely also beat the odds and become a Triple Crowner.

Why I’m hiking the Triple Crown

Below is my new list, written by current me, on why I want to be a Triple Crowner. 

1. Sisu 

This is a concept deeply engrained in the culture of Finland. I discovered it on the PCT while listening to The Finnish Way: Finding Courage, Wellness, and Happiness Through the Power of Sisu by Katja Pantzar on audiobook. It translates imperfectly to “grit,” “perseverance,” or “resilience.” In essence, it embodies purposefully positioning yourself face-to-face with challenging endeavors in order to build mental stamina, toughness, and bravery. When you build those things, you gain confidence and perspective.

I think it’s the perfect word to explain why thru-hikers are so attracted to what we like to call “Type 2 Fun.” Every thru-hike comes with its own set of unique challenges. I’m looking forward to applying a sisu mindset to the new ones I encounter on the CDT.

2. Athlete 

I have a complicated childhood history with athletics and identifying myself as an athlete. I discovered this fact about myself later in life while writing an Alcoholics Anonymous 4th step. This involves listing out anyone or anything you currently or at any point ever had a resentment about. Soccer, softball, and basketball (in their generality and entirety) were three items on my lengthy list.

The first two I played in elementary and middle school, respectively. And I SUCKED. It caused a lot of embarrassment and shame that stuck with me, especially in the context of having people in my life at the time who excelled at these sports. Basketball I never played but I did get hit in the face by an errant ball in gym class once in 9th grade. So in true alcoholic fashion, I obviously harbored a resentment towards the whole of the sport for 15 plus years after the fact. 

Gymnastics and crew came more naturally to me. However, I got a late start (8th grade) with gymnastics and thus didn’t have the time window to really go far with it. I was a halfway decent rower on my high school’s team, but my short and small stature prevented me from continuing at the collegiate level, at least at the Division I school I went to. 

Running I’ve always had an on-again, off-again relationship with. I come from a family of runners, my parents and sister all enjoy it as a form of exercise. I did not inherit this gene. Something about being consistently out of breath without a break I find unbearable. That’s why I like hiking: you huff and puff up a climb, but then you get to catch your breath on the descent. 

Anyway, this is all to say that once I discovered thru-hiking via the AT I felt like I had FINALLY found MY sport. One that I was actually good at – part natural talent, and part earned through miles and miles of experience. The Triple Crown of Hiking is the Olympics for my sport. Naturally I want to compete in it and have that on my repertoire before I retire (if I ever do).

3. Partnership

During our engagement when Andrew and I would tell people about our upcoming PCT hike, many would say something along the lines of it being a good test for marriage. Being together 24/7 for 6 months and sleeping less than a foot from each other in a tent the whole time while only showering once a week…it certainly is. I’m very lucky I have someone I generally get along with so well that for us, this is a lot easier than it could and perhaps should be. 

While the Triple Crown is an individual goal for me, it’s also a mutual goal within my partnership with Andrew. It’s a journey and accomplishment we can share in and reflect on our entire lives together. I think experiencing challenges as a team is an important part of being a couple. For us, this often looks like one of us being in a scared or frustrated state while the other is comforting and helping to work through it. And the roles are constantly reversing. Experiencing sisu together on trail only strengthens our bond.

4. Expert

I’ve always felt like a Jill of many trades but a master of none. My college degrees are in Accounting and English Literature. I sporadically wrote in poetry in my youth but never pursued further education or a career in creative writing. When I worked in accounting, I didn’t specialize but rather prepared nearly every type of tax return that exists at one point or another. I’ve dabbled in many educational topics, sports, instruments, and hobbies throughout my life but never poured all my energy into one specific thing in order to REALLY get good at it. Until I became a thru-hiker.

The Triple Crown allows me to become an expert in something. They say it takes 10,000 hours to become an “expert.” A month is about 730 hours. If we do the math, I should have over that in thru-hiking experience at the end of the Triple Crown!

AT = 730 x 4.5 months = 3,285 hours

PCT = 730 x 5.5 months = 4,015 hours

CDT = 730 x 6 months = 4,380 hours

TOTAL HOURS = 11,680

Maybe I shouldn’t have counted sleeping or off-trail hours, but it’s all part of a thru-hike so we’re going with it. Also, I’m too lazy to further complicate this equation. 

I feel proud to have a niche and be experienced in it. And I like that it’s not something one can ever fully master or complete. There will always be new gear coming out and other trails to hike and more learning to gain.

The Final Countdown

We’re getting SO close to our departure date for the CDT. Like, less-than-a-week close. It feels like I’ve been preparing and writing about preparing for this forever. I can’t wait to actually write an update from the trail, and my next one will be the first!

 

For more thru-hiking content (and other miscellaneous life updates) follow me on Instagram @keljens