Just Keep L-I-V-I-N. 

In the words of Matthew McConaughey’s character, David Wooderson, in the 1993 cult classic ‘Dazed and Confused,’ “The older you do get, the more rules they’re going to try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin’, man. L-I-V-I-N.” Now what does a fictional stoner have to do with this thru-hike’s origin story, you ask? Mostly the sentiment that eventually in life, you reach a point where you have to decide between what you tell yourself you should do and what you need to do for YOU. For some this might be a given, but for me it took a lot of trial, error, and day-dreaming to get the proverbial ‘huevos’ to finally try.  I needed to do something that called me but also terrified me, and was a deviation from my stable, routine employment.  That something I had been dying to do for years  was to thru-hike the AZT.  Don’t get me wrong, I love stability, crave it to some extent, but when it wasn’t aligning with my current needs, I knew I had to do the brave thing. The thing I’d been talking about but not doing.

Do it and Shut Up About It

This is some version of a million separate conversations I had with myself and loved ones over the past five years. My friends and family were tired of hearing me drone on (without taking action) about how I needed a change, needed to do something I love for longer than a week at a time. So finally, on the cusp of the New Year, I announced to my inner circle that come May (the end of the semester in the education world ), I was quitting to travel and finally hike the AZT. I decided the worst thing I could possibly do for myself was not try, even if the thought of failure scared the hell out of me. So, I dug deep to summon a little Matthew M for courage, and remind myself that I just gotta keep livin’. When that stops, when I stop trying to grow and push myself out of my comfort zone, when I finally concede to my self-imposed narrative about expectations and prescribed life paths, when I give in to narratives of self doubt and fear, then I am truly dead. So here I am, about to embark on my SOBO thru of the AZT, and I am so stoked to say I am really L-I-V-I-N.

But Aren’t You Scared to Go Solo??

Outside of needing a change, I also wanted to do this thru-hike to provide yet another example that the outdoors IS for women and girls and NO we do not need to be afraid. Obviously I am not the first woman to solo thru-hike. I am constantly inspired by a laundry list of badass women kicking ass and taking names on trails across the world, so I know I am not doing something novel or unique. Despite this, I am shocked by how many individuals I have personally interacted with leading up to this hike that were perplexed, aghast, shook, if you will, that I, an adult woman, would fathom hiking alone for 800 miles. The fear mongering is out of control and despite my good-faith attempts to educate (e.g. “Statistically speaking, you’re more likely to die in a car accident than be ____ (insert trail related risk)”), people simply cannot get over it. Now I am not claiming that hiking as a woman does not pose some inherent risks that might not be as prevalent for our male-hiker friends, but I do think the narrative is wildly distorted. While I know most people mean well, and are simply concerned for my well-being, I do find it mildly annoying and would really love it if women in the outdoors were seen as capable and competent. So here I go, like many amazing, show-stopping, capable, skilled, brave, competent female hikers before me, to hike alone and have a great time doing it. Because after all, whatever is out there should be afraid of ME. 😉 

One Last Thing

Jokes aside, thank you to everyone who has supported me on my journey to this thru-hike and everyone who will support me along the way. I am so very grateful to spend time outside doing what I love and being present in every glorious and suffer-fest-y moment. If you read this far, thank you! I hope you’ll stick around for the rest. Happy trails!