">
My Hot Take: Trail Angels Aren’t Doing Enough To Support the Thru-Hiking Community
I know this is a controversial opinion, but someone needs to speak up. The thru-hiking experience just isn’t what it used to be, and there’s one group to blame: trail angels.
These so-called philanthropists were once the darlings of the hiker trash community. They fueled our adventures with free hot dogs, rides to town, and all manner of support — not for money, not for prestige, but only for the selfless joy of brightening a stranger’s day with a helping hand.
Yet in a time of economic uncertainty and rising inflation, the amount of free stuff trail angels provide to hikers simply has not kept pace with the cost of living, and it’s a real shame. How can we be expected to trek under these austere conditions?
Don’t forget, we thru-hikers go without any source of income for months at a time in order to accomplish the very important goal of absolutely sending it all the way to Katahdin. It’s hard work, and we simply cannot accomplish it without adequate financial, logistical, and culinary support from those of you privileged enough to have those fancy little things called “jobs” and “cars.”
Yet in our hour of need, you have abandoned us. Wow.
Trail Angels: Why Do You Hate Us?
WTF, those donuts don’t even look homemade? Wow. Just wow. Photo: Mariposa
Gone, it seems, are the days of full-service, all-you-can-eat hiker feeds. I remember when trail angels held themselves to a higher standard. The term really meant something back then, and these individuals took pride in their service to thru-hikers.
Not so anymore. The entitled “trail angels” of today are neglecting their duties in several ways. Serving inadequate snacks, both in quantity and quality. Refusing to drive thru-hikers to destinations more than 90 minutes away, like it’s some big deal to take a few hours out of their day to help someone out. Forcing hikers, who are of course free-spirited forest goblins at heart, to conform to oppressive social norms such as Washing Their Hands before eating.
This is nothing short of emotional blackmail, sweet reader. And I for one will not stand for it.
Back in the glory days of my AT thru-hike, a trail angel once sat me down in a comfy camp chair and served me a cheesy 6-egg omelet with a side of fruit salad and a cigar while charging my phone for me. Now that is how it should be done!
Compare this to my more recent experience on a section hike of the AT around the same area, where I stumbled upon a sorry excuse for a hiker feed stocked only with Reese’s Pieces, lukewarm Gatorade in only two colors (wow), and — this is the real kicker — apples. Granny smiths, I might add.
I’m burning like 4,000 calories a day, and Ebenezer Scrooge here expects me to survive on red Gatorade and the most inferior of apple cultivars? Wow. Our long trails are going to the dogs, reader. It’s a shame to see.
Trail Angels? More Like Bear Haters, Am I Right?
Guess you just hate bears or something, trail angels. Wow. Photo: Thomas Fuhrmann, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
I’ve also noticed increasing incidences of thru-hikers’ trash being left behind along the trail. This is perhaps the most egregious of the modern trail angel’s many shortcomings.
Do they not realize that there are no janitors in the backcountry? If trail angels don’t come along behind me to pick up whatever trash I decide is too heavy to pack out myself, who will clean it up?
That’s right. No one.
As we should all know by now, letting wildlife get at human trash is harmful to both people and animals. As the saying goes, “a fed bear is a dead bear.” And sure enough, we’re seeing increasing rates of human-bear encounters that require the animals to be relocated — or in some cases euthanized — along America’s long trails. Thanks to trail angels.
This is 100% on you and no one else, trail angels. Or perhaps I should call you … bear killers. It’s like you don’t even care about nature. Wow.
No More Mushy Apples: Bring Back REAL Hiker Feeds
Fresh Ground, one of the greats. Now THIS is what I’m talking about. Photo: Bloodhound
Eggs are very expensive these days. That’s exactly why hikers need, now more than ever, for other people to buy them for us, cook them, and serve them to us free of charge!
I’m a hiker, for goodness’ sake. You think I can buy $14 eggs on my own dime? Someone needs to step up to the plate here. It takes a village to get a thru-hiker from Georgia to Maine, and trail angels simply are not pulling their weight.
What can be done about this sorry situation? First, to any trail angels out there reading this, I beg you: bring back the real hiker feeds. Bring back trailside pancakes, barbecues, and the full complement of Gatorade flavors, or stop calling yourself a trail angel!
Also please drive me around town all day so I can do my errands, and afterward, consider letting me and my friends sleep inside your house for multiple consecutive nights.
I honestly can’t believe I have to spell all this out for you. These should be minimum standards for all trail angels.
A Modest Proposal
Surely some enterprising app developer can develop a way for us to publicly rank and shame trail angels through our phones? Photo: SpiceRack
To my fellow thru-hikers, I offer a modest proposal. Can’t we enact some sort of trail angel ranking system as a means to keep these people accountable? No longer can we allow non-thru-hikers to walk all over us. Trail angels need to know that we’re watching them.
A simple five-star rating system would quickly alert thru-hikers to phony “supporters” who offer unsatisfactory assistance. Through public shaming, hopefully we can encourage trail angels everywhere to step up their game — and weed out those unwilling to make the sacrifices necessary to hack it as a trail angel in the fast-paced, cutthroat environment of the modern Appalachian Trail.
For example, Carl the Omelet Man, the one who gave me the six-egg omelet and the cigar, would get a five-star review and a special shout-out for his comfortable seating arrangements and mobile charging station. We want to encourage good behavior, and this is the standard all trail angels should be aiming for!
Meanwhile, Steve, the utterly self-absorbed motorist who declined to drive me three hours to the airport after I refused his frankly audacious request for gas money (ugh), would get one star, and I would leave a comment like, “I wish I could give Steve NEGATIVE STARS. VERY BAD SERVICE” for good measure.
I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that this ranking system is a vital need in our community.
We Will NOT Go Back to the Bad Old Days
WWII veteran Earl Shaffer became the first AT thru-hiker back in 1948, back before it was cool. What a horrible experience this must have been. Who would want this. Ew. Photo: National Museum of American History.
In the old days before trail angels were gifted to us by the trail gods as a reward for being so goofy, thru-hikers were necessarily more self-reliant. Forced to rely on their own wits and determination, they even managed to finance their own hikes independently through methods such as “budgeting.” Thankfully, those dark times are behind us — but we must never allow ourselves to become complacent.
Over the years, hikers have become more and more reliant on the support of trail angels — and rightly so. For instance, it’s now both commonplace and a really smart idea to pack less food than you think you’ll need to get from one resupply to the next, since you’ll probably encounter hiker feeds to supplement your food bag along the way.
In retrospect, it’s clear that this must have been part of the trail angels’ plan all along. Now, just at the moment that we are all utterly dependent on their benevolence, they’re slashing their support, threatening to send us back to the barbaric trail conditions suffered by the thru-hikers of the late 20th century.
Don’t Think We Don’t See What You’re Up To, Trail Angels
A likely story. Photo: Becky Wandell
Well, here’s the thing, bear killers. We will not go back. No longer will we endure the burden of carrying all of our own food and surviving on meager rations that were not made with love just for us. Hitchhiking or arranging shuttles to get to and from town? Ugh. No.
I’m sure I’ll catch some heat for voicing my 100% completely honest and real opinion, but I know there are others out there who think like me. Together, we can fight back against the persecution of ungenerous trail angels.
Featured image: Photo by Ibraim Leonardo.
This website contains affiliate links, which means The Trek may receive a percentage of any product or service you purchase using the links in the articles or advertisements. The buyer pays the same price as they would otherwise, and your purchase helps to support The Trek's ongoing goal to serve you quality backpacking advice and information. Thanks for your support!
To learn more, please visit the About This Site page.
_-_Jasper_National_Park_04.jpg){kind=link}
Comments 81
<3
Sounds like a Uber driver wanted job got one then pulled gun because tip wasn’t good enough.
Great way to piss off all the trail angels, so they stop coming out to serve you. Your a disgrace to the hiking community. Shame on you
Seriously!!!
This was disgusting to read!
Sadly not taking responsibility for yourself seems to be an ongoing issue in society that days.
You gotta be friggin kidding me???omg , unbelievable posting such a self seeking blog, you are the one that wanted to quit your real life to go walk around in the woods for months at a time. Out here in the real world, times are getting tough, you want to complain about no free hot dogs and no free hour an a half car rides?!!?!?! Incredibly narcissistic 😲.
Easily the most self centered, arrogant, entitled article I have ever read. Literally had to screenshot the whole thing so it won’t be forgotten. WOW just wow, how do you live with yourself? By the way hiking isn’t “sending it” lol. Just another freeloading trustafarian “trying to make a difference” but nothing is ever good enough.
Feed the homeless, not a hiker trying to find themselves.
I 100% agree. If a person decides.to hike the trail it is their responsibility to supply their own needs not expect others to. This is a result of today’s selfish society. No one.matters.but me and what I want. Totally ungrateful.
This article is satire and sarcasm. It’s meant to make those who are truly ungrateful for trail angels sound like the entitled hikers.
I’m glad I’m knot the only one appalled with this even if it’s satire. Imma gunna give it a week and if I don’t see an apology or this article taken down I’m gone from the trek
🤣 The mark of a good satire is when it outrages people who don’t realize that its satire. I was first taken aback by your comments but as I read the full extent of your manifesto, I realized that your “modest proposal” was an ode to the classics. Bravo Mr Swift😉
Honestly, I’m blown away that some readers didn’t recognize this as satire. WTF? Lighten up, folks!
This reads like The Onion. This was meant to be satirical, right? I am just double checking because I don’t know what to trust any longer since the world went nuts.
I am appalled! THIS SHOULD NOT EVEN BE PUBLISHED ON THE TREK. This should not even be published on the trek as a matter of fact, I’m gonna check in a week and if it’s not taken down, I’m no longer going to be associated with the trek.
I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN THE TREK.
One of the best satire I’ve seen written in a long time!. You had me just almost falling out of my chair, laughing. In today’s political climate, satire is such a brilliant method of communicating a point. Very well done and happy trails. PS/-if I ever do trail Magic, I promise to bring my A game.
Yikes! It’s YOUR idea to thru-hike the trail! What happened to sending packages of food to yourself? YOU are responsible for YOURSELF. Trail Angels are called that because they do what they do out of the goodness of their hearts, you entitled fool!
Ah, finally! A brave voice emerges from the styrofoam ruins of Appalachian civility.
Your piece, Ms. Floro, recalls—whether knowingly or not—the razor-sharp wit of Jonathan Swift, whose immortal Modest Proposal once suggested, quite sensibly, that the children of the poor be cooked and served to alleviate the burdens of 18th-century Ireland.
Your work rekindled that noble fire in me.
So allow me to offer a modest counter-proposal of my own:
If trail angels can no longer provide the proper caloric, spiritual, and logistical support that thru-hikers require to survive this brutal and noble pilgrimage…
…we must consider eating them.
Why not? Many are plump from sedentary comfort. Most possess, I suspect, marbled loins of fine tenderness, suitable for flame or slow simmer. Think of the protein. Think of the morale boost.
Let us finally feast.
Carl the Omelet Man, basted in clarified butter and seared to a golden, greasy perfection.
One-Star Steve, braised low and slow for refusing airport transport. His shanks alone could carry us through Pennsylvania.
Susan of the Mushy Apples, spit-roasted with cinnamon bark and a red Gatorade glaze.
Trail magic is dead. Trail meat is the future.
We’ll issue “Angel Harvest Permits” via the HaloScore app. Any rating below 4.3? Fair game. The bear population will rejoice. So will we.
Thank you again for reviving the spirit of Swift. Whether it was your intention or not, your satire was tender, well-seasoned, and deeply satisfying.
I do hope you’ll attend the First Annual Trail Angel Barbecue & Gatorade Swap Meet.
(Location TBD, but likely just north of Hot Springs. Bring your own seasoning.)
Respectfully yours in culinary outrage,
M. Bardamu
Thru-Hiker | Satirist | Aspiring Cannibal
“A fed bear is a dead bear. A fed hiker is just getting started.”
Funny very funny! You are joking right?
yes joking, sheesh.
lol trail meat is the future
Bon Appertit
M Bardamu, love, Love, LOVE!!!!
I think that I will read Jonathan Swift again. It’s been many, many decades since I did.
Still laughing about your post!
Best Wishes,
Cat
This is the only correct response to the original article. We must turn the lackluster “Trail Angels” into “Trail Sausage” so that they might finally accomplish their goal of serving the thru hiker.
This comment is the only correct response to this article. I thoroughly agree that lackluster “Trail Angels” should be given in service to create “Trail Sausage” to sustain the thru hikers. A very modest proposal, indeed.
Oh man, prepare for the backlash from the readers who just don’t get it
Im a fat old wobbly kneed trail angel and it was funny.
Did you know that trail angels rate hikers too.
Smell is first on the list. Their are sour smells worth 2 points. Moldy smells worth 1 point. Didnt wipe your ass last worth 0 points. Ran into a skunk and didnt even realize it worth 5 points. Havent brushed your teeth since Amicola Falls worth 4 points.
Then there are shoes. If they are dry 0 points because we dont really think you are thru hikers. Duct tape is worth 3 points. Two different shoes are worth 4 points. Visible bloody toes are worth 5 points.
We dont rate manners. Impossible. No such thing as a ungrateful thruhiker with a mouth full of food. The less they say the more we know they mean it. It was cold, rainy and windy on Salt Log Gap last week and a grown man whispered in my ear “I saw your blue tent coming up the hill and started crying.”
Youre welcome!
Bums, bums I say…
Keep off the trail if you’re looking for handouts.
Hikers, you know whatl I mean HYOH !
trail food providers are the enablers of bums,
you condemn bums to a lifelong access to the teat, look what Welfare has done to generations, it’s destroyed countless numbers of families.
I fully support well provisioned hikers but the bums gotta go !
OK fight me ! Hahahahaaaaa
I hope this was written tongue-in-cheek!!
I trust you are joking, practicing satire, because TA don’t owe you anything. It’s your adventure, not theirs
I don’t think this piece works. Too many words before it starts to make its point
Definite 2-star word salad, but point is valid: TA’s need to step up their game since I spent all my money on a $700 tent and a $400 quilt. Do they think money grows on trees? What’s next? Am I going to have to apply for food stamps so I can resupply? (Wait, I could probably do that since I’m not working!)
M Bardamu, love, Love, LOVE!!!!
I think that I will read Jonathan Swift again. It’s been many, many decades since I did.
Still laughing about your post!
Best Wishes,
Cat
I had a great AT thru hike start in 2000. I appreciated the TA from Springer to Damascus. Twice. I definitely got very emotional reading your entry, had many words I wanted to say. I would love to see the wonderful TA continue their amazing support. Alot of the TA are thru hikers themselves and never had the wonders that hikers today. Living in Maine I’ve done TA duty and it’s very rewarding. Definite gold for them. Thank you for your perspective
Hike your own hike or go home.
The definition of “trail magic” is something surprising and unexpected. So although your piece is sarcastic, it shows that somewhere along the line “some” hikers adopted the belief that they could count on being gifted with trail magic to support their hike. The situation has shifted, because of the major hurricane damage, it really seems like it is time for the hikers to be the trail angels for the communities.
Really? You rely on handouts? You expect gifts? Not once was anything expected upon hiking The Trail in 1974. Trail angel term did not even exist. We packed everything we needed and expected nothing. I am not sure i would even want to hike on it again as it has become “commercialized” in a sense and all too glamorized. It was the spirit of adventure, not accomplishment and definitely not dependence but INDEPENDENCE! Get over it and get on with it or take a bus…
Wait – is this the Onion? Must be…
The Trek has higher publishing standards than this!
By the way,for my Trail Magic (just go home from serving food to hikers IRL), I only accept cash or check. 😉
OMG! Someone actually thought you were being serious. That’s sad.
Your sarcasm was hilarious! Many thanks and love to all trail angels.
Wow!
I do absolutely hope that this is tongue ‘n cheek!
I have never read something of such disrespect towards the Trail Angel community in my life before!
Any ‘Magic’ that you find along any trail, PCT, AT, CDT, WONDERLAND,etc., is a special treat and an awesome reminder in the goodness and open generosity of others.
I understand everyone hikes their own hike, and they may not want to ‘carry the weight’, follow Leave No Trace principles or considered the financial commitment that goes along with a Thru-Hike.
Except, I will never look down on any Trail Angels good ‘ole fashioned kindness of a ride, snack, hot meal, a cold beverage or even a smile!
Thank you for the laugh, Kelly! Honestly, people, take a deep breath, relax, and try, try, to recognize humor when you see it. Not everything is a threat or insult. Thank you.
This. My god, the internet has broken people’s brains.
As a small grassroots nonprofit that has served as a Trail Angel on the Appalachian Trail for eight years, we’re disappointed—not just by the tone of this article, but by The Trek’s decision to publish it in the first place. Whether intended as sarcasm or provocation, it reads more like shallow clickbait than meaningful commentary, and it misrepresents the heart of the trail community.
Trail Angels—from individuals to nonprofits—offer support not for attention, but out of love for hikers and the trail. Whether it’s hot meals, rides into town, gear help, or just being there when someone needs a hand, this work builds trust—not headlines. Articles like this, even if meant to be edgy or humorous, chip away at that trust and dismiss the real, unpaid labor so many quietly provide year after year.
If the goal was to start a conversation, I’d encourage the author—and The Trek—to spend time with long-time volunteers. Listen instead of judge. See firsthand how much effort it takes just to show up. Instead of complaining about a lack of support during what is ultimately a privileged vacation, why not uplift the people and groups doing the work that keeps the thru-hiking community alive?
Honestly, I’m bummed. I expected better from The Trek—a platform that draws its entire relevance from the very community pieces like this undermine. And if this was intended as a joke? It was in poor taste. But hey—congratulations, I guess. I clicked.
You’re missing the point. It was a comedic way of riffing on the entitlement of some of the latest generation of hikers.
And this is a hiking website – not NPR. Its supposed to fun.
As a successful AT thru hikes It appalled me satire or not. I did some last minute trail angel stuff this year nothing like some of the magic I received 2 years ago. It was apparently not enough according to this satire. I appreciate it every water bottle, soda, Gatorade, and hotdog I ever received on the trail. Didn’t matter who give it or how much I stopped spent some time and thank them. So yeah, I may be sensitive, but this article is BS.
With all the s**t going on in the country that deserves outrage and attention, some people decide to dump on an obviously satiric take on certain people in the “trail community.” Misdirected energy. Lighten up and get priorities straight.
You clearly need to use a stronger sarcasm font.
I have wanted a sarcasm font for decades, thank you
You know its really good satire when half the people who read it think its legit.
unbelievable ignorance in our country. knew there would be plenty who do not understand satire.
Whoa, I remember Karl the Omelette Man, but that has been awhile, like 2018. Even then he got static from some hostel owner saying that he was feeding hikers so full that they were skipping the hostel. The forest service was called, and the rangers told Karl to be out of the woods by Monday because you need a permit to do any kind of food serving. It was Sunday afternoon and Karl was contemplating how he would do battle against the forest service. You’re right. They just don’t make the kind of insane hiker do-gooders like they used to.
Obviously tongue in cheek. If we carry the story forward a bit, it can be viewed as an indictment of the entitled hiker. I’ve been doing a couple of LASH’s of the PCT over the last couple of years and have seen first hand some of that entitlement. We should all be on our knees thanking the trail angel community for their unwavering support for all hikers – entitled or not.
Great satirical piece, I enjoyed reading it. However, sadly, the sentiments expressed seem to be more prevalent than ever. Sometimes I long for the good ole days (mid ‘70’s). 😉
I’m hoping the folks who took this seriously did so because they didn’t finish the article. IF you took it seriously, please go finish the whole thing. Its called humor. I must say, Ya had me going for the 1st paragraph or so, but I kept reading and then got the gist.
I read the whole thing and I was so pissed. I didn’t care how to end it. It’s just stupid.
I assume this is satire? If not, you are one messed up chick. And need to get a job, lol!
Fantastic April Fool’s Post. Must of forgot to hit send a couple months ago…
Here for this. Well played.
Right on Kelly! Let’s keep the Entitlement strong. Nothing’s more of a bummer on your $10,000, six month vacation than not getting the free food you deserve!
This may illicit the most entertaining responses yet.
Well played.
It’s sad that I actually know some folks who think they’re entitled to trail angels and to pretty much everything else in life. They readily adapt a victim mentality and behave as though society owes them literally everything. As a 32 year Marine veteran you can hopefully imagine my reaction which I’ll refrain from expressing since I don’t wish to burn any tender little ears out there. The way I see it life doesn’t promise you a rose garden. It’s what you make of it. I applaud all trail angels. They’re exceptional people and I only pray we’ll have more of them. Great satire, by the way, Kelly!
I simply must agree with you 100%. When I was hiking the Colorado Trail in 2021 I stopped at a trail angel’s sunshade (only 8’ x 8’, by the way, and with rather uncomfortable folding chairs that didn’t even rock: very inconsiderate) and was offered a beer and a slice of fruit pie. I was shocked that the beer was a … I can hardly say it … PUMPKIN flavored IPA! The audacity! I drank a second can before leaving just to make sure that my taste buds hadn’t deceived me. As for the pie, one would have thought it obvious that it should have been pumpkin (or perhaps pecan) as a suitable pairing, but it was … CHERRY. Again, I had a second helping to confirm my impressions. On the plus side, the free fuel and toilet paper did meet my expectations, although the TP could have been a bit softer.
I’m pretty good at sarcasm and cynicism but this read more as a true reflection of your feelings than a spoof.
Hey, do you need your butt wiped too?
While I believe that this was written as humor there’s not enough of an indication of an apology to TA everywhere.
Thru hikers complain of 30-35 pounds they have to carry. 30+ years ago real backpackers carried 60 pounds for days in the wilderness. Now the gear is so lightweight. Current hikers don’t seem to understand good hygiene especially to take care of their feet, stretch daily. It’s getting the miles and more miles in. When it’s the EXPERIENCE of the whole hike that matters, challenging yourself and staying positive. And meeting different people all over. Be grateful for everything that you get.
While you are getting the notoriety for writing this article the true message isn’t what YOU think it is. You’re turning off TAs that read the beginning and think that some entitled ungrateful young piece of shit is writing this and won’t finish the article. Well congrats. You may have just pissed off the wrong people.
I recognize this as humor, but my visceral response was quite negative. It made me wish upon you: Lyme’s disease, rabid skunk bites, Guardia, nettle stings, Noro (not once but twice), perianal poison ivy, ear bud loss, bilateral femoral neck stress fractures, pneumonia secondary to aspiration of a peanut M&M, loss of your Sawyer so-ring, pop tart induced diabetes, plantar fasciitis, and no bars cell reception. I maintain 2.5m of AT. I stopped contributing to a full time professional trail angel’s 501c when I felt like every bit of it went to feeding and shuttling and feeding and shuttling and feeding and… a YouTuber. Your article would be funnier if the point of view were less evident on trail.
Respect that.
Great sarcasm, Ibex! You are an inspiration .
We shall not stand for this slander against Granny Smith. Author is clearly in cahoots with Big Red Delicious and their propaganda machine. Did you know all apples start out as green? They only grow Red from sitting out in the hot sun too long. Also the prices are insane. Last month I went to an Apple store and they wanted a thousand dollars for a Macintosh!
If this is satire, it missed the mark … first of all by not being on a site like The Onion so people knew what to expect. But second of all, by framing it as a ‘hot take,’ you make it sound as if you actually believe in this.
If it was a real opinion, how in the world did you become managing editor? The mental gymnastics required to make thru-hikers seem like they’re owed something for taking a huge vacation is … insane.
the insanity if it is how you know its satire. this is a love letter to trail angels, not the opposite
That satire this obvious still managed to hit a raw nerve with so many people doesn’t bode well for the trails.
Oooooo I knew what the comments would look like and I am NOT disappointed. A simply beautiful satire. 🤩
Trail angels getting lazy and greedy. Running car shuttle businesses and such. JERKS!
i got that it was sarcasm in the first paragraph, and didn’t find it the least bit funny. i’ve never been so turned off by TheTrek, and by one of its most prolific writers no less. Yes, different people have different senses of humor. This does not confirm how clever people are who do like sarcasm. Come on, let’s not pretend this served some lofty social purpose here by mentioning Jonathan Swift. The reaction of some trail angels/organizations confirms it was poor judgement.
A Bee worthy read! Very entertaining. Great job!
To ascertain the current stance of Appalachian Trail (AT) support services on the subcultures, businesses, and individuals that support the hiking communities along its corridor, it is advisable to contact Hiking Clubs, Trail Towns, Hostels, and Advertisers. By soliciting their options and perspectives, you can gain a comprehensive understanding of the The Trek’s current position on various aspects of the services trail angels and trail magic provide. These services are performed out of kindness, love, and support for the hiking community that populates the AT. It is important to note that trail angels, trail magic providers, and other volunteers receive no government funding, endorsements, or income derived from their love of hikers.
Sorry you got hit with such negative feedback. I for one appreciate the back door approach you took and like the points you made about entitlement among an extremely small segment of the hiking community. I think that with the rise of big hiker feeds that have sprung up over the past years, it might lead one to think that there is a problem with entitled hikers but so far, whenever I have shown up at a shelter with root beer floats and Chardonnay, I have always been met with incredulity and genuine humble thankfulness. Yours truly, Bloodhound
I totallty agree it was done as a satire, however, I feel the writer’s grasp of the language of sarcasm isn’t as fluent as they believe.
You still live at home with your parents, right??? LOL
satire… but there are you people who really think this way…
This comment section has me tickled. Thanks for putting obnoxious trail angels in their places. I mean the nerve of having us a hot plate of food ready at the next trailhead without first confirming eating preferences is preposterous. Maybe some of us thru hikers should get off trail and show those angels how really make some trail magic.
The Case for Certified Trail Angels. Let’s face it: the world of trail magic has gotten out of hand. Every year, thousands of hikers on long-distance trails are ambushed by well-meaning individuals offering free food, rides, and kindness. Disorganized. Unregulated. Unprofessional.
It’s 2025, people. Isn’t it about time we demand quality control from our trail angels?
I propose the National Certification Program for Trail Angels™. (You’re welcome.)
Because it’s no longer enough to hand a sweaty hiker a lukewarm Coke and a stale hot dog from your trunk and expect gratitude. No. We need trained professionals who understand the nuances of hiker psychology, electrolyte balance, and emotional fragility after 23 miles of rain and chafing.
Imagine: a Level 3 Certified Angel™ who can diagnose your blisters and your existential dread, all while offering artisanal vegan chili with optional gluten. Or a Licensed Transport Angel™ who not only gets you to town but also plays a curated Spotify playlist that perfectly matches your trail mood.
As it stands, trail magic is a lottery. One day, you get cold watermelon. The next, a man in Crocs hands you a banana and tells you about his colonoscopy. Where’s the consistency, folks?
And don’t get me started on presentation. Can we at least color-coordinate the coolers? Maybe a QR code for ratings and feedback? I’d like to know if Susan’s famous oatmeal cookies actually are famous or just have raisins in them.
Volunteers, we salute your kindness – but let’s channel it through proper training modules. CPR, wilderness etiquette, and basic Instagram filter selection are a must.
Trail angels, we love you. We do. But it’s time to elevate the standard. Let’s bring accountability to kindness. Let’s professionalize altruism.
The trail deserves no less. Now DODGE is done, some people still looking for a job, let’s make it professional.
Wait, it’s April 1? Looks like a lot of people’s satire detector is broken. Sad.
I got the satire, but as a non-angel who was tasked for covering some of the worst sections of the PCT as a First Responder for 12 years and someone who lives almost right next to the trail, here is my serious take on the writer’s subject. As the idea of ‘finding yourself’ through hiking some of these long rails has gained ground in society, I have seen some of what the writer is poking fun at. From people with 70# packs complete with solar panels and satnet so they can keep their blog current to the folks who do absolutely no pre-trip education and think leaving Idyllwild in June with 2 liters of water and they will just fill up along the trail as they head towards White Water during a drought year, the trail never failed to deliver hard work for us in the late Spring and early Summer. Yes we are here to help you, all 3 of us, who just hiked UP from Snow Creek with all this gear AND the stokes basket for 2 hours in 100+ degree heat, so if you can walk down hill, please do. Oh, you thought we would just give you a helicopter ride because you are out of water? You do realize that this pass between the Pacific Coast and the Lower Desert does experience the highest non-storm related winds in the U.S. about 350 days a ear, right? Oh, you were unaware that Palm Springs and its surroundings regularly goes over 100 degrees starting in May? Or that the grasses below 5,000 feet will be dry enough that your homemade alcohol stove will ignite them?
On the other side, when coming home from said job, I drive over Onyx Summit on my way home and pick up folks who have made the 3-4 day trek from White Water through the White Water and Mission Creek drainages pretty regularly. My home is in the first little neighborhood Highway 38 passes as it drops into Big Bear Valley. So it is a bit farther for me to drive to the post office in Bear City where folks usually HAD supplies mailed to in the past, but now, it seems, as the write kind of eludes to, folks want a ride to the local Bass Pro or some other form of high end hiking supply house so they can restock. BBBZZZZZZT! We really don’t have one of those, but the local bus system is free and will take you into town from Bear City to Bear Lake so you can figure it out. Yes I have given folks rides all the way out to Coldbrook Campground because yes, you can stay there for free, but that is almost an hour round trip extra for me. People don’t seem to get it. Yes, I can fit 5 additional people in my truck, but not with packs and poles, etc… If throwing that stuff in the bed seems to bother you, maybe find another ride? Yeah, I got what the writer was spoofing on, I even found it funny, but real humor ALWAYS has some truth to make it work.
I don’t know what gave more laughs, the post, the satirical comments, or the comments from the people who believed this post.
LOL!!!!
Cat