A Message To Those Who Have Trauma
TW: Sexual Assault
Today, exactly 3 years ago, (July 13th)
I was sexually assaulted.
My life changed in that single moment.
I went from being a human full of life and seeing the beauty in the world to being scared, hateful, and empty.
I had collapsed. Given up.
I couldn’t even go to the bathroom by myself. I couldn’t leave my bed. I couldn’t take my poor puppy out by myself.
I was afraid of everything.
Even my own shadow.
I had night terrors every night. I would wake up screaming and crying multiple times in the night. I never thought I would move past this. I attempted suicide. I had hit new lows I never thought were possible.
And then one day
I decided I was going to hike the PCT. A 2,650 mile long trail from the border of Mexico to Canada.
Now here I am.
Three years later.
Doing exactly that.
Today is still difficult. Today I still cried.
To the men who have assaulted me: You took away my worth, my privacy, my energy, my time, my safety, my intimacy, my confidence, my own voice, my life… until now.
I am a different person.
Today I am
I am not what happened to me. I am who I chose to become now. Who I chose to inspire and support and love.
For those who are reading this…
Don’t be ashamed of your story. It will inspire others. I was told I was crazy to attempt this, and sometimes I still think I am, but the messages I get from others saying how I helped them get out of bed that day or that I inspire them to keep fighting, keeps me going.
I’m doing this damn thing. I’m raising money for others like me who need help like I needed it. I am here for you. I am here for myself. I show up everyday hiking miles for myself and other survivors and I am going to finish this crazy adventure 💕💕💕
My emotions on trail can still change pretty quickly, going from smiling at sunsets and goofing off, to crying in my tent for an hour. I will keep pushing, keep walking. I won’t give up. I will never give up on this, because giving up means I’m giving up on me. And I will never give up on myself again.
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