My Rise from the Concrete Jungle to the PCT
Marymount Manhattan College: Emphasis on MANHATTAN
After I graduated from Marymount Manhattan College in May 2018 I decided to come back home. A decision I swore I’d never make after seeing my older sister come home post BS degree. I thought I’d work my ass off and get a job out of college in the city I was dying to live in. I thought! Granted moving to New York wasn’t always my dream. I settled on that decision junior year of high school when I discovered my love for theatre. A love I quickly moved on from when I was surrounded by its realities.
Seamless and Weed
Two years later I’m there, in New York, ordering Seamless everyday, eating my goals away. I would say I HATED NYC, but I don’t feel that covers all the damage I allowed to happen while I was there. I didn’t just gain 60lbs during those 4 years, I let New York get the better of me. It’s VERY easy to do there. New York is dark, muggy, confined, there is piss everywhere, and drugs on an app! Well honestly that app helped me deal with the feels! It is pretty convenient when you can just order weed to your door. But of course I took advantage and spent all my money on eighths every two weeks which meant double, triple, quadruple the seamless orders. While weed helped get my head out of the concrete box that is New York, it played a major part in my weight gain and self deprivation.
Rent in the Big Apple
You want convenience when you are living in a five floor walk up and the subway is six blocks uphill or farther from your apartment. Your 650 square foot apartment you share with two roomies that costs $2,650 a month. An apartment you could only get with a guarantor that makes 80 times the rent. No wonder everyone there is a sugar baby, or has rich friends, or just is rich. I would not trade my education for the world and the damage New York did was what I asked for. I wanted the struggle. I wanted to prove I could do it, and I did. I just didn’t know it would take my soul and replace it with GMO’s. Will I ever move back to the big apple, no, no I will not. But I am grateful for the person I lost because it will be the reason I succeed.
Two steps back to HOME
As much as I knew I needed to leave New York, I fought to stay. I would rather suffer there than move home. But, your girl could not land a job to save her life! I was done. The money was gone. It had been gone for a while and I was just racking up my already high debt. I waved the white flag, head hanging low. My beautiful parents helped me get out. I moved back home and three words came to mind. Pacific. Crest. Trail. That’s the next move. That’s how I reverse the damage because what’s the opposite of a concrete jungle, NATURE! I need to walk it out, press restart on my physical and mental health.
“Cause life must be somewhere to be found instead of concrete jungle where the living is hardest” – Bob Marley
Walk It Out
I’m walking the Pacific Crest Trail for me to become me again. I learned so much these past 5 years and I want to learn more, explore more, be more. I never want to stop fighting for a better me, but I lost my will. It’s taking everything I have left to prepare for this venture and JUST DO IT! I know I need it. I can do anything, nothing is in my way except me. I know damn well I won’t let myself fall below this point. The person I lost I may never find again, but that’s ok. She wasn’t strong enough. She needed to go. I can’t wait to walk my way to me! Cecelia Josephine MF Taylor.
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