Where it all began

Almost 10 years ago I began hiking. I trained to hike Mt Whitney in a day. I wasn’t a strong hiker, but I trained and didn’t give up. After climbing to the tallest peak in Southern California I began watching movies about backpacking. I saw these crazy backpackers on the trail and was just amazed by them carrying heavy packs up the mountains. Before I knew it I was buying gear and testing it out in the San Jacinto Mountains during the cold winter months. Then I wanted to hike the John Muir Trail. I trained and headed out in the summer to complete 180 miles from Mammoth to Whitney. Every mile hurt. I remember saying to myself “never again” and “who does this?” But the hiker’s amnesia kicked in and I was planning another trip the following summer.

I could only dream about hiking the PCT

I was married, had a son in high school, had two small dogs, and worked full-time. I would sit at work thinking of where I was going to hike next, plan my next backpacking the trip, and dream of hiking the PCT. I was obsessed. I had a friend who was going to hike a section of the PCT and asked if I wanted to join. Before I knew it I was on trail hiking 100 miles in Southern California. We had wind, snow, and icy slopes where I slipped repeatedly on Fuller Ridge. It was a crazy suffering that took place on the trail, but it kept me coming back for more.

I’m not okay

Then in 2018, a tragic event happened, that would change me forever. My 21-year-old son was on his way to work and was in a fatal accident. I was not okay. After some time of trying to resume life, I couldn’t do it anymore. So, I quit my job of 20 years. Hiking became my therapy. I hiked the JMT two more times, hiked the High Sierra Trail again, hiked the PCT from Tahoe to Tuolumne, from Kennedy Meadows to Horseshoe Meadows, from the southern terminus to Paradise Valley Cafe, from Whitewater to Big Bear, and from Big Bear to the Cajon Pass. I hiked to the top of Kilimanjaro, in Peru on the Salkantay Pass Trek to Machu Picchu, to Everest Base Camp, climbed to the top of Mt Hood, climbed Mt Whitney for the 13th time via the mountaineer’s route, attempted to climb Rainier, hiked the Wonderland Trail, the Colorado Trail,  and Torres del Paine O Trek in Patagonia. I’m like a mad woman hiking every mountain and every trail trying to find peace and happiness in my grief journey of my son.

It’s supposed to be a low-snow year!

Going into the winter of 2022 it was predicted to be another low snow year. Perfect for the PCT. As I sit here 2 days before my start date, there is recording breaking snow hitting the mountains. I have the skills to complete this hike in a high snow year. I just worry about the water crossings and postholing for miles. As I’ve learned with the grief of my son, I will take it one day at a time and be okay with how I feel at the present time. I will take my time getting to Kennedy Meadows and see how the conditions are in the early summer. I wanted to hike one continuous path, but have adjusted my thoughts that I may need to skip, flip, or hike in the early morning hours when the snow is firm. It will be okay. I just need to keep going, one foot in front of the other.