What do I cherish about my life right now? (Pre-Hike)
What do I cherish, before I start this thru-hike?
That was a thought I had as I wrote out my “reasons to thru-hike” letter. So much of this planning for the PCT is, well, planning. Living in the future land of what-if scenarios based on other people’s experiences, past patterns of weather, and my own few experiences backpacking.
As suggested, I’ve been thinking about my reasons why I’m hiking. I couldn’t help but let my mind wander to all that will be left behind. For someone who doesn’t feel like she is running from her life, this is becoming a challenging pill to swallow. I wanted to take a moment to think about what I value about my life right at this moment. What feels like home to me?
Community
Sitting around the dining room table and confiding in vulnerabilities with my roommates. The lightness of creating a silly game with our hands and a roll of blue painters tape. Feeling the fullness of it all. To have found people to cry beside, people to share dinners with, people to laugh contagious howls with.
Solitude
Living in such a “communal” environment, it may not seem like I have much space for alone time. I value finding ways to carve out that space. I believe in the balance. The car ride to a yoga class. A morning walk around the neighborhood. Taking myself out to a movie.
Nourishment
I love a big tall glass of water and a bowl of raw brussels sprouts. I fear that hiking this trail will alter my taste buds so much that I only crave sugar coated sugar (candy). I hope that in towns I am able to fill my belly with fresh produce! I know on trail I’ll be filtering some often undesirable warm murky water. I hope to remember to drink some plain jane water too – without all of the flavor powder added in. I look forward to the varying ways I’ll get to nourish myself – even with cheesy pizza and sweet ice cream!
Community, solitude, nourishment. That all feels like home to me. I’m moving out of this home and into a 50 liter backpack. When I’m homesick, I hope to remember to look for these values. While it may take time to feel comfortable with new people, I can find ways to connect in authenticity, in lightness, in goofy play, and heavy emotions. I know I’ll be alone in my own head for most of the miles walked, but I hope to carve out time for solitude in towns, too. And that tricky piece on nourishment… I’ll get a lot of practice!
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Comments 1
Damn! You write so well. Thanks. And the solitude thing? I know I will becoming back to that theme.
Thanks ever so much Truly