Trailmates for Life: Finding an unlikely partner in my dad

I consider myself very fortunate in my hiking partner. He’s silly, ridiculous, supportive, curious, and just a blast to suffer with (most of the time). Craig, or Dad, as I call him, has been my backpacking partner for the past 20 years, and has been keeping what we like call the “stoke” of backpacking and the outdoors alive and well in my life.

Some people like backpacking alone and some really enjoy the social part of trekking with others. While I do enjoy hiking by myself, there is something special about sharing the joy and the suffering on trail with someone. Plus, I sleep a lot better knowing if the noise I heard is in fact an animal stalking me, I won’t be alone.

The trick is finding someone you can stand for hours, days, weeks, sometimes months on end without going crazy and losing the joy of being out there. While I can still go a bit crazy at times, I truly can’t imagine not having my dad as my hiking partner out there with me. He’s helped me over passes, made me laugh at mosquitoes invading our personal space, and is always there for a hug when I feel like absolute garbage.

This year we are hiking the Colorado Trail, and it will be our 8th trip since we started doing yearly trips.

The family backpacking history

My first camping trip!

I started backpacking with my dad when I was 10, when he brought me on his family’s yearly trip to the Sierra Nevadas that all the guys took every year. To prep for it, he took me on a couple of overnighters to get me comfortable with being outside and to see if it was something I could and wanted to do. He was very careful to make the experience enjoyable for me so I would want to do it again.

The Sierras trip was around 7 to 9 days I think, and I had a blast. We rode pack horses out a few miles and then hiked further in. I remember day trips to beautiful alpine lakes to fish, going up a pass that was all red volcanic rock, campfires every night, and card games in our tent. I carried most of my own gear except the tent, which my dad and I shared (not sure about the food). Looking back on that trip I feel extremely lucky I got to do it as none of my other female cousins were ever given the opportunity. It was also the last year they did that trip, as people got older and it became more complicated.

It was amazing to take the trip with my dad and experience something with him that he grew up doing. While I didn’t do much backpacking till years after that trip, it stuck with me.

Rediscovering backpacking

Hiding from sand blowing in the tent in my sleeping. Mummy bags are superior in this case.

Backpacking came back into my life in college when my dad, uncle, and cousin wanted to go on a 4-day weekend trip. It was definitely a type-2 fun trip as it was the only weekend in months that summer that it rained, but the amount of stories from that trip were worth it. We had gear malfunctions, sand blown into our tents, and I lost my first toe nail. There is something about having that shared suffering that really makes a bond stronger if you can laugh and smile about it.

After that trip, the yearly trend of trips started up again. At the beginning, most of them were more base camp style backpacking. We would hike in and set up camp, and then do day hikes out to lakes and views from there every day. We did a lot of fishing too, which I was never the best at, but Dad was always there when I eventually tangled my line…

Dad cooking our fish over the fire.

A much needed shift

I don’t remember what changed our thinking, but eventually my dad and I wanted to start doing more distance traveling trips. At this point all our gear was pretty classic (a.k.a heavy), which made distance traveling exhausting. Our backpacks probably weighed around 50 pounds fully loaded, we had too many clothes (got to have jean shorts to hike in), and resupplying wasn’t even on our radar. That all ended when two days into a 9-day trip with probably 50 lbs on our backs, we questioned what we were thinking. Dad was around 50 years old at the time and was starting to wonder how many more years he could physically backpack.

Notice how the pack is the same size as him…

The 9-day trip was a loop around Three Finger Jack in Oregon, and unknown to us, half of the trip was on the PCT. We starting see people with packs probably half the size of ours cruising down the trail. The shock was real after asking a few people how many miles they were planning on doing that day and almost everyone was doing 20-25 miles. We were floored. It was a struggle to just do around 8-10 miles with our heavy packs and boots.

A truly sketchy campsite in a forest of widow makers on a less than calm night.

My dad, ever the curious one, started asking a lot of questions to anyone that was stopped and had time to talk. We learned about Sawyers for the first time, resupplying, and got to see how different their gear was then ours. We both really loved backpacking together and now there was hope we could keep doing it for years if we dialed in our gear!

Why it works

Choosing a hiking partner can be a challenge, but when you find the right one it makes the experience so much more amazing. You have a built-in support system, someone to share the highs and lows with, and of course, someone to be deliriously tired with. 

Get yourself a hiking partner who can laugh at having mosquitoes dodge your head while trying to eat your breakfast.

I sort of fell into having my dad as my backpacking partner, but it works surprisingly well. We compliment each other really well on trail and have learned over the years how to communicate and work together. Hiking with my dad is truly special. Amazingly, I’ve never really gotten tired of being on trail with him. I think a lot of that boils down to a few key things: 

Personality

I am definitely my father’s daughter. We are both very similar in our goofiness and silliness, though he takes it to a new level of ridiculous sometimes. But that is what I really love. The authentic, goofy, weird person that my dad is, makes each day seem lighter and full of energy. He’s got the stoke for the trail and it’s infectious. There is nothing like climbing up a pass and hearing him yell in front of me as he reaches the top, or listening to him make up a song about Deet keeping him on is feet. His positivity keeps me going when I’m absolutely exhausted or stressed about logistics.

He’s really excited about something here.

One of his greatest gifts is how he can start up a conversation with almost anyone and is naturally a very curious person. As an introverted person myself, this is a big bonus when we meet people on trail. I get to observe while he asks all the questions. Eventually, I join in the conversation, but he takes the stress off meeting new people.

Plus, I’ve got a built in sound board when I want to geek out on gear that I just researched. I’m sure the rest of my family is tired of having to hear us talk about the trail and gear, but we could talk for hours about food storage options.

Communication

What is truly special in hiking with my dad is having someone out there who knows me so well. Communication on trail is so key when hiking with another person and can make or break your hiking dynamic. When I’m exhausted at the end of the day, he’s so patient with me and knows pretty well when to stay quiet if I’m working through something internally. I’m generally an internal processor, and he usually sees the signs when I’m processing something and gives me a moment. But the moments when I’m on the verge of tears and he walks over to ask if I want a hug, those are special.

Over the years we’ve learned what each other’s strengths are as a team. As the primary planner and general organizer, I’ve learned what information he needs for resupplying, and the general stats and plan for the day, etc. Dad has always been my rock when it comes to route-finding, staying positive, and making good trail decisions. When I lose the trail, or I’m having to climb over the 50th blow down, it’s hard for me not to get frustrated. He has this knack for staying calm and finding the trail when I feel so lost.

Smiling through some blowdowns

Hiking style

Dad has a very similar hiking style to me. While he’s generally better at uphill and I’m better at downhill, we have the same daily patterns, goals, and motivations. For a hiking partnership to really work you need to be on the same page or eventually someone is going to be unhappy. Some people are really motivated by big miles and want to wake up early and hike later into the evening. But maybe you like to swim at every lake you pass by. A great hiking partner is someone whose trail energy matches yours, whether you’re out for a leisurely stroll or an intense adventure.

We thankfully don’t share hiking style though 🙂

As it turns out, my Dad’s quirky trail vibes align perfectly with mine. I do get the occasional question from people on how my dad keeps up with me on trail, but in reality it’s usually me keeping up with him. Our paces are similar, but we have different strengths (his is definitely uphill). Our preferred hiking schedule is similar as well. We wake up early, hike a few miles, eat breakfast, hike, break for lunch, hike, and then around 5pm set up for the night. While there are variations to this routine, such as sleeping in and eating breakfast at camp after a particularly hard day, for the most part it stays the same. We do enjoy a good dip in a lake or river to clean off too, whether that is around lunch or where we camp.

The only issue in schedule is usually in the morning and I’m waiting an extra 10 minuets for him to get everything in his pack before starting our hike.

The true tests

He knows me too well

At this point my dad knows too much about me, and probably more than he bargained for. He’s seen me break down physically and emotionally more than he really ever did when I was growing up or in everyday life.

On our first trip we went on when I was in college, probably 10 years after the last time we backpacked, I got my period the second day out and didn’t pack enough supplies… We ended up coming back a day earlier than originally planned. Now every time we are planning a trip he asks how the trip dates are lining up with my period.

He has seen me at some of my worst and weakest moments that I’d rather keep under wraps.

A test of patience

We have all been there at the end of a long day. All you want to do is eat and crawl into your tent and pass out, but sometimes you have to keep hiking to get to camp. Maybe someone asks you a question that you have no brain power left to answer. This is often me on high elevation climbing days. I’ve put all my energy into keeping my legs moving and then Dad will ask me a question about how far camp is, what that mountain is in the distance, or something random about our schedule. I’m practically brain dead at this point and it takes all my energy not to snap. I definitely cannot say I’ve never been short or cantankerous.

I will say this. Sometimes the best thing I’ve found to do when I’m at that point is to just say where I’m at. “Hey sorry Dad, I’m so exhausted I don’t have the brain power to answer that right now. Can we talk about it after we are at camp and sitting down?” Do I always do this? No, but I’m trying to be better at it. It’s not your hiking partner’s fault you are tired and they should understand where you are at if you are good at communicating it.

Just two exhausted people after hiking up Mt. Whitney. I was unwell.

The added bonus

Laughable confusion

When I was younger, it was a lot easier for people to tell that we were a father-daughter pair. But as the years have passed that is not quite as easy to spot and it’s become very entertaining to watch people try to ask if we are a couple or father-daughter. Especially in today’s age when offending someone, even if you are genuinely curious and trying not to pass judgment, is a real possibility.

Not a couple, just two crazy hikers

But once that question is answered people are usually curious and often ask how it works or how I got into backpacking. Fathers will often ask how I got into enjoying hiking and backpacking, especially with my dad. Usually they want to get their own kid interesting in the outdoors and are wondering how we made it happen.

Forever memories

Having a blast in the Desolation Wilderness, on the Tahoe Rim Trail.

I will look back on the memories I’ve created with my dad backpacking and hiking forever. Every trip has been filled with incredible moments, laughter, and type 2 fun. I’ve been extremely fortunate that my father is my backpacking partner in crime, and I can’t wait to tackle the Colorado Trail with him this year. I pray and hope we have many more years on the trail together!

Hike on!