Why Am I Choosing to Hike 6,000 Miles?

“The Trail will test you. Force you to move beyond the pain, the fear, the failure. Until you become one with the killer itself. Remember, hesitation will draw danger to you like fire. But trust the path you choose, and it will protect you. Even in darkness. As long as you listen. Always listen.”

(The Witcher: Season 2, Episode 4)

This Trail is Absurdly Long

What brings someone to willingly set out to walk 6,000 miles? That’s more than the other two big trails I’ve hiked, the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) and the Continenetal Divide Trail (CDT) combined. I mean, there’s plenty of shorter trails out there, right? I’m sure some are quite pretty and scenic too. Plenty of trails would take less time, less money, and less effort to complete. And, when you think about it, walking is certainly not the most efficient method of transportation. Biking would be faster. So, would driving a 50cc moped. If I wanted, I could just fly to Newfoundland, rent a car, and make my way to my goal all in the same day.

So then, why the absurdity of walking day after day for 10-months? 

I’ll be honest, I don’t feel I have a full grasp on my reasoning for taking on this trek and this scares me some. Inevitably, a day will come on trail when I find myself overwhelmed by the green tunnel, scrambling over the rocks and mud in a deluge of rain. Being grounded in my understanding of why I’m out there could be the reason for sticking it out versus calling it quits and going home.

So where does that leave me?

How I Got Here (Abbreviated Version)

Let’s back up.

I feel a lot of my current “plight” of wanting to hike this giant trail goes back to me being hoodwinked into hiking the Continental Divide Trail (CDT). You see, after hiking the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) in 2019, I vowed that I need not hike another long trail again. My thru-hike experience was absolutely amazing. I met new life-long friends and got the time I desperately needed out in the wild lands, but following the hike I fully intended to find my place back in the default world and live happily ever after.

A few months later, I was back on trail.

Fate, destiny, or maybe the way the stars aligned in a certain manner… whatever it was, I found myself hiking alongside friends Carol “Cheer” and Steph “Calzone” in their mission of completing their last remaining PCT section. Surely this was a simple matter of supporting my friends though. I’d get it out of my system and move on afterwards.

Fast-forward to the Spring of 2021… Cheer and Lee “Snickers,” another member of our hodgepodge PCT trail family, were several weeks into their expedition to hike the southern half of the CDT. Thinking it’d be a fun little reunion, I took some time off work and headed to New Mexico to backpack for a few days on whatever random section they happened to be going through.

The random section turned out to be the San Pedro Parks Wilderness in Santa Fe National Forest north of Cuba, NM. Of course, it was spectacular. The 30-ish mile stretch went above 10,000 feet elevation showcasing beautifully bright green meadows complete with babbling brooks, some snow slogging, pretty Aspen trees, and even an elk siting. The CDT seed was planted firmly in my brain. 

The next year, as the Snickers and Cheer duo were scheming to complete the northern half of the CDT, I thought if ever I’m going to take on this trail, now is the time to do it. And so, in April of 2022, I set out northbound solo, but with the idea that I’d join forces with them at some point. Things didn’t go quite as planned for me (they never seem to, do they?), but our trio did unite in Rawlins, WY and trekked all the way to the Canadian border together. It was amazing and we each completed the trail that year in our own way (I created a video showcasing my CDT trek and it’s posted here, if interested).

The CDT was a challenge, but through the experience I gained confidence that I could do more. Afterwards, having ventured along two of the United States’ “big three” trails, I knew that some day I would want to take on the third, the Appalachian Trail (AT). Maybe it didn’t show right up at the surface, but deep down, that pull back to the trail was already simmering.

So you see, it was my friends’ fault. They sneakily enticed me into hiking the CDT and thus, are at fault for me thinking I can take on another long trail.

That’s great and all, I hear you saying, but the AT is one thing, the ECT is an entirely different beast.

Why Extend Beyond The AT?

By extending my route south of Springer Mountain and north of Mount Khatahdin, I have added more than a few miles on to this whole endeavor. On its surface, my reasoning is childishly simplistic. I like how the PCT and CDT have these big milestone end points… you hike from Mexico to Canada, border to border. And, when I think about the AT, I don’t get that. Even just visually when looking on a map of the trail, it looks incomplete to me. I know this is silly and I also know the AT termini are iconic (I’ve heard Khatahdin is the most epic of all), but there’s something about walking across the entire country that’s intriguing to me.

The idea that first got me excited for the AT was starting at the Gulf of Mexico near Pensacola, FL (pre-hike swim in the beautiful waters at Fort Pickens included) and hiking to the lighthouse at Cape Gaspe in Quebec. Giant water body to giant water body. At some point, the itinerary expanded even more as I learned about the ECT though. I’m not sure when or how it first got on my radar, but do remember when it first struck a cord and seemed like an actual realistic option to me. This occurred when listening to a Hiker Trash Radio podcast episode in which the host interviewed the 5 or so hikers of the ECT Class of 2023. I was captivated by their journey! Soon after that, I was all in.

Digging Deeper

I have yet to answer the question…

Why!?

In 2019 when I decided to hike the PCT, like many people who take on these long trails, I left a pretty good job and relative financial stability and entered into the unknown. Not working for that long goes against what society tells us is what we’re supposed to do. And for the past five years or so, I feel I’ve continued on this path of wandering. I chose jobs with less regard to salary, but more based on what I was passionate about, seeking out positions located in beautiful wild places. I have a lot of gratitude for these opportunities and experiences.

Working an AmeriCorp season with Utah Conservation Corp (I lived out of my van Veronica Watson for over a year)

The crew removing invasive Tamarisk and Russian Olive along the Virgin River

The Southwest Alaska Regional Invasive Species “Strike Team” conducting surveys in Togiak National Wildlife Refuge

Surveying for invasive European Green Crabs in Cold Bay, AK

Return hike after visiting backcountry streamgage sites in Yosemite National Park (YNP)

Meteorological station maintenance (YNP)

Ice cave exploration during annual glacier survey (YNP)

Toxic algae survey in the Tuolumne River (YNP)

If honest with myself, I think part of my adventuring has been a way of coping; moving forward, but without fully dealing with some things.

Pictures showcase all the positives… the beautiful settings, working and living with a group of amazing people, and getting to do fun scientific work that (most of the time) feels like it matters and is helping restore our broken relationship with the earth. What is not shown is that just when you feel you’re connecting to the place and the people, the season ends and you move on without ever fully being part of the community. This can be lonely. That’s why, in spite of how incredible traveling around has been, I often question if I want to keep living this way.

The Trail Provides

A classic movie in my family growing up was “What About Bob?”  It’s a comedy that focuses on the calamitous relationship between a therapist, Dr. Leo Marvin, and his patient, Bob Wiley. It’s pretty great. At one point, Bob is really struggling and tracks Dr. Marvin down while he’s on vacation with his family. As a way of dealing with the situation, the doctor writes a “prescription” for Bob to take a vacation from his problems.

Is that what I’ve been doing without ever realizing it? Have I been burying my problems down deep, pretending they don’t exist?

Natural settings are places of healing, discovery, contemplation, and I usually return from them feeling rejuvenated and motivated with a clearer sense of purpose and direction. That’s part of my reason for this journey, but it’s more than that. On trail, there’s something that brings about clarity and an awareness that every day is new with possibility and opportunity. Maybe it has to do with the day-to-day rhythms and a very clear task (just keeping walking).

On trail, I am focused. Each day matters. Not only do I believe in myself, but also that I have the ability to do better. Conscious of my actions and the interactions I have with others, I can be a force of happiness to those I encounter… listen to them, lift them up, empathize, understand that they have their own story. I can soak in the beautiful moments. Pay attention to the struggle… processing, learning, delving into the pain while trying to understand its roots. It shouldn’t, but in the default world, for me, this all gets more clouded and complicated. 

All of this is just guesswork. The truth is that I don’t know what it’s going to be like on this journey. That’s probably the biggest draw to these long hikes for me, the unknown. I wanted to share these thoughts with y’all going into it to let you know that in addition to all the swamp slogging, mountain mile-making, and muddy meandering I’ll be dealing with some internal stuff too. I didn’t want to get too into the weeds here, but from time to time I’ll likely write about some of my pondering’s.

Hopefully, the tale is wonderful mix of adventure, good vibes, and an exploration and celebration of the amazing world we live in!

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Comments 3

  • Barbara Feltz : Dec 27th

    Stevie Wonder! We were just wondering where/what exciting adventures you are doing. Enjoyed your update! Happy trails.
    Checklist & COM

    Reply
    • Steve Hoekwater : Dec 27th

      Hey Checklist and COM! So great to reconnect. Hope y’all are doing well 🙂

      Reply
  • Pancho420 : Dec 28th

    Well said, very nice article. Happy trails!

    Reply

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