Abby Evans

I'm Abby Evans (they/them) and I go by “Shitwater Fireball: Queen of the Salamanders” on trail, but usually just the first part. I'm trying hard not to light all of my gear on fire and I enjoy helping salamanders cross the trail. I finished thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail in 2023 and I'm headed out on the Pacific Crest Trail in 2024. Huzzah!

Posts

Porcupine Battle at Bake Oven Knob Shelter

Porcupine Battle at Bake Oven Knob Shelter

I didn’t expect myself to be wearing tin foil hats and fighting off porcupines named Happy on the AT — but here I am. I realized after 1,000 miles

Jul 29, 2023 : Abby Evans
The Half Gallon Nightmare and Other Adventures

The Half Gallon Nightmare and Other Adventures

“Want to stay at a cult?” Not a question you get asked every day, but when you are asked, there’s only one correct response: “Why not?” The

Jul 16, 2023 : Abby Evans
Shenandoah Nightmare: Bear Poles Are the Bane of My Existence

Shenandoah Nightmare: Bear Poles Are the Bane of My Existence

It was hike naked day. And it was cold, wet and rainy. We had just got back on trail after my beloved parents had dropped us off — when better to

Jul 6, 2023 : Abby Evans
Packing Out a Growler and Other Pour Decisions

Packing Out a Growler and Other Pour Decisions

I was at McAfee’s again. The sky erupted in a fiery orange and purple. I was finally back in the place I started backpacking — 700 miles later. I had

Jun 30, 2023 : Abby Evans
A Cow Stole My Trekking Pole and Dignity

A Cow Stole My Trekking Pole and Dignity

As I walk through different sections of Southern Virginia, it feels as though I am connecting different parts of my life. Mount Rogers was where I

Jun 20, 2023 : Abby Evans
The Foot Tickler Strikes in Marion and Other Short Stories

The Foot Tickler Strikes in Marion and Other Short Stories

Somehow, in one resupply, I had my foot nonconsensually tickled by a complete stranger and we almost got my German friend deported. (Not quite but it

Jun 12, 2023 : Abby Evans
Walking Back Home to Virginia

Walking Back Home to Virginia

There I was again. Hunched like a small gremlin on the sidewalk in Damascus outside a Dollar General, scarfing down a Nestle drumstick ice cream with

Jun 4, 2023 : Abby Evans
If the Shoe Fits… Buy 10,000 Pairs

If the Shoe Fits… Buy 10,000 Pairs

My feet have cost me more than $500 so far. Sometimes I think life would’ve been easier if I just chopped them off and walked on my hands all the way

May 29, 2023 : Abby Evans
Trail Days: Super Fun or Super Overwhelming?

Trail Days: Super Fun or Super Overwhelming?

Tent City: the perfect place to go if you want no sleep, endless bongo drums, and a relentless hangover. I learned this the hard way. My friends and

May 25, 2023 : Abby Evans
Sunrise at Max’s Patch: Realizing the Purpose of My Thru Hike

Sunrise at Max’s Patch: Realizing the Purpose of My Thru Hike

“It is up to us to put ourselves in the way of beauty.” This quote from Cheryl Strayed has stuck with me while thru hiking. Her late mother reminded

May 20, 2023 : Abby Evans