Feeling the Mountain Magic
These are the last pieces of footage I have on my phone. I really wanted to do a compilation with bits of all of my short videos, but my phone is truly at death’s door. It has been dropped on rocks, submerged in icy water, and caked full of sawdust. Editing this video and exporting it was quite the adventure in and of itself; between strange pop-ups, apps freezing, and battery failure I don’t know how this thing even got uploaded. I know it’s cheesy to the max, but it is from the heart…so be kind.
The weather change has had me in a real funk lately. I feel myself falling into old habits and depression is doing its best to lure me into its trap. I think the only thing that will save me is a new adventure. I’ve got something on my mind, but it just might be crazy. That’s a lie…it is certainly crazy and I know it. I’m weary of even telling anyone what I am thinking of doing next because I know most people will discourage me from attempting it. I think some of the recent discouragement I have received is mostly coming from a good place, a place of concern, but it’s my life and I have to do what feels right.
Nothing about “conventionality” feels right to me. I fought the vagabond who dwells deep in my soul for a very long time and I felt guilty about always coming and going, but never being able to stay. Now, however, I feel compelled to follow my heart and my restless legs. I know I take things too seriously sometimes, I know I get too deep into the meaning of things…but that is just who I am. I guess, I’m just tired of apologizing for who I am and how I do things, and how I think, and how I sound, and how I walk, and how I blink, and I am tired of hesitating and second guessing myself at every turn. That’s not to say that I am not grateful for all of the kindness I have received and all of the encouragement, I truly am, but the only kindness I ask of anyone in my life is that they allow me to be who I am.
Thank you SO very much to everyone whose paths I have crossed. Thank you to the people who made me delicious meals, to the people who gave me work, to the people who gave me advice, to the people who told me their stories, to the people who took me on adventures with them, to my family for always being there. This is not the end, this is not the beginning, this is something somewhere in the middle. I plan on stumbling upon many more kind strangers, hearing more good stories, becoming a part of more tall tales, and chasing after a plethora of new dreams.
Magic is real. Magic is a feeling. Magic makes breathing feel profound. Magic is that unexpected happy tear, it’s the wagging tail of a dog, it’s that moment when the warm sun peeks out from behind big puffy white clouds, it’s the way things work out against all odds, and it’s what leads you to the next great day. It’s mysterious and confusing; yet, it makes perfect sense and is simple at the same time. Magic lies within a surprise letter from a friend, it lies within midnight confessions, it’s the sound your boots make on the trail as they clank against grumbly rocks, it’s the crisp air at the summit of a peak, it’s the way a memory makes you smile, it’s the invitation to a last minute adventure, it’s the kindness of a stranger, it’s the smell of rain and the silence of snow, it’s everywhere and it happens every day. I believe in magic! How could I not?
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Alix: I enjoyed video, follow your heart otherwise you’ll just have regrets later on. Enjoy the ride.
I really enjoyed this video because it helped me to reflect on my own feelings of restlessness and longing for adventure. I think many of us feel this way but only a handful have the courage to follow our heart and our dreams. Keeping moving forward Alix.
Alix – I follow Appalachian Trials, quite often. I think because “birds of a feather flock together” despite how far apart they are. The internet makes this possible, I guess. You see, I live in China, now. I am an AT section backpacker, also. Expressing the emotion and experience of the way that many of us (at least you and me, lol) think (well at least what you have written … I don’t pretend to know what you think) is almost always more than words that I can conjure up, but I think that your words have touched my soul by resonating with the verbal description of that experience with “Mountain Magic.” Thank you for sharing. I will keep your words and read them when ever I feel that I am the only one that understands.
Alix, it was awesome meeting you this summer, albeit briefly. Loved this video so much. You’re on the right path, I promise you. Your spirit is going to take you to all the right places. Don’t you ever let that stop guiding you.
Made my day! 🙂