Free Pancakes, CDT Trail Days, Mountain Biking on the Dragonfly Trail and Reminiscing of the Time in the Backcountry

My friend Jasper took me to the free pancake breakfast happening at the park first thing in the morning. I waited in line patiently for the delicious dessert. I found it cute to find Knee Melter putting food on hikers’ plates as he volunteered to help out.

     After I loaded up on calories, Jasper took me out mountain biking on the Dragonfly Trail. I had been seeing so many dragonfly references this year—felt my Spirit guides had been letting me know more than ever that I was on the right path.

     It felt so healing for my mind to go on a bike ride and soak in the energy of the desert again. My soul appreciated being in a more solitary space surrounded by the simplicity of nature. I was nourished by the simple tuning in of the present moment as I listened to the sounds of the wind and the wheels cruising through the terrain.

     It was funny because he mentioned it was one of the easier mountain bike paths, yet I felt pretty intimidated. After walking on foot for so long, traveling on a bike felt way too fast. It seemed as if I was on a roller coaster, flying through sharp and windy turns. The rocks, roots and ramps nearly caused me to fall off my bike a few times when I tried to keep balance!

     When we got back to his car, Jasper shared with me that he was a widow.

     “I met the love of my life and I only got to be with her for nine years before she died of cancer,” he said, ”I searched for this woman my whole life and I finally found her.”

     On her death bed, she said to him, “I want you to promise me two things… I want you to go on living and I want you to go on loving.”

     And so he did. Now, he seemed to be caught up in some love triangles with a few different women.

     He brought me back to Trail Days to check out some vendors. The weather felt much more enjoyable this year in comparison to last year. There were also more hikers that I got to meet this time through. In the afternoon, they were taking a group picture of all the CDT thru-hikers, so I decided to join in! A couple of guys helped me get up on the ledge for a higher shot.

     Bud was waiting for me at one of the picnic tables, but I got distracted when someone pulled me over for an interview video, so I said “fuck it.” They said I could talk about whatever I wanted and I asked if that meant I was allowed to talk about my x-rated blog to which they said no. I could clearly see the pattern now—constantly feeling as if I had to censor myself and feeling victimized because of it. I still did the interview, however it didn’t feel as if I was authentic. I was over the game of feeling like I had to alter my words and persona to appease the crowds.

     After the interview, I hung out with Knee Melter and Bud while we reminisced of our time on the CDT. It felt nice to share memories of our different backcountry experiences in the Gila Wilderness, Yellowstone and Glacier. We joked about bear stories and hitchhiking adventures, recalling funny memories of all sorts.

     He drove me back down to town and I went out for ice cream with Skylar. I forgot he was watching over his friend’s little kid, so I was surprised when I saw him with a five year old girl.

     As soon as I walked into the ice cream shop, she yelled, “Hi, Mommy!” and ran up to give me a hug.

     I looked at Skylar in complete horror. That was the way he liked to prank me. He knew how uncomfortable it would make me and he hit the nail on the head. I wasn’t fond of kids much, nor did I want any of my own, so hearing a little girl call me “mommy” and try to hug me with her ice cream covered hands and face felt like a living nightmare.

     After that, I went out to eat with Knee Melter for one last hoorah before parting ways for the year. We got some sandwiches at the Toad and enjoyed the calm energy of the place, unlike the day prior. Something about being in his space brought me back to the days where I felt like a true adventurer. His energy reminded me of a time with more simplicity, a more authentic character trait in myself and a path directed towards what my heart desired.