Get Busy Living, or Get Busy Dying: Why I’m Hiking the PCT

1994 was a great year for Hollywood: Forrest Gump, Pulp Fiction, and the movie that should have won best picture – Shawshank Redemption.  Shawshank is a film about a man who was able to accept an unfair fate with dignity, do his best to maintain his humanity in an inhuman place, and ultimately never let go of the belief that he could find his own way out.

There is a line from the film that has stuck with me ever since I first watched it as an early 20-something:  “Get busy living, or get busy dying.”  Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins), wrongfully convicted of killing his wife and her lover, is describing to Red (Morgan Freeman), his plan to escape Shawshank Prison and open a hotel on the ocean in Mexico with some money he invested under a pseudonym.  Red thinks Andy’s dream is too big:

Red:  Pacific ocean?  Shit.  Bout scare me to death something that big.

Andy Dufresne : Not me. I didn’t shoot my wife, and I didn’t shoot her lover. Whatever mistakes I made, I’ve paid for them and then some. That hotel, that boat… I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

Red : I don’t think you oughta be doin’ this to yourself, Andy. This is just shitty pipe dreams. I mean Mexico is way the hell down there and you’re in here, and that’s the way it is.

Andy Dufresne : Yeah, right, that’s the way it is. It’s down there and I’m in here. I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

Watch the scene here

Get busy living, or get busy dying.

To me, this means that we must seize opportunities when they present themselves.  We must be willing to take risk in pursuit of our dreams, sometimes significant risk.  Fail to do this and we are likely to find ourselves at the end of a road full of regret.  If death comes for us tomorrow, will we be able to greet it without regret or fear?  Have we seized every opportunity?  Have we been busy living?  This is not a rhetorical question – death can come at any time, and with it the end of all opportunity.  Can we really afford to procrastinate anything?

If I had to sum up in one sentence why I have decided step away from my life and business for five months to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, this is why:  I intend to get busy living. 

If you’re already an avid backpacker you probably understand exactly what I mean about getting busy living on the trail:

There is an indescribable magic in waking up alone in the mountains, before dawn, and cresting the next ridge line as the sun crosses the horizon.

The feeling of intense gratitude when you can finally rest after a 20+ mile day, sitting down to filter ice cold water from a stream and cook a hot meal.  Taking your shoes off.

The oneness with the universe that you can only experience in the wild places where you’re far enough from humanity to see the milky way at night.

The exhilaration of jumping in an alpine lake, and the way the cool water soothes sore muscles.

The simplicity of only having one task to accomplish for the day: walking to the next campsite.

The sense of accomplishment you feel when you finish what you set out to do, and the relief of taking a hot shower at the end of it.

Into The Forge

It’s not always good.  Sometimes mosquitoes swarm the most beautiful alpine streams so completely that you can’t believe there’s enough blood in the entire world to sustain them all.  You can’t stop swatting them long enough to set up your tent.  Ten will land on one square inch of exposed skin.

Some days there’s constant rain, and the feeling of being damp and uncomfortable never goes away.  Feet become pale white and cratered like the moon.  You’re tossing and turning in a wet bivy, spending all night counting down the hours until dawn.

You roll an ankle and need to walk fifteen miles on it or you’ll miss your resupply and go hungry.

It’s hot, you’re out of shade and out of water when an expected water source doesn’t pan out.  Five more miles to the next stream, hopefully it’s not dry.

You’re camping alone, feeling sorry and lonely, wondering if the rustling in the leaves is a squirrel or a bear.  It’s almost always a squirrel, but do you want to look right now?  Did you move your bear can far enough away from the tent?

But just as iron cannot become steel without fire, a person cannot better themselves without going through trial.  The heat of the forge brings to the surface impurities which the blacksmith hammers away.  The folding of metal introduces new elements to the steel which make it stronger.

We are our own blacksmith, and life is our forge.  Through great trial we are forced to confront our true self, the good and the bad.  This is the fire of the forge.  Through discipline we can hammer away the bad and cultivate the good.

Our modern and industrialized society has many advantages, but a great paradoxical disadvantage is that it is easy for us to avoid the fire.  We are robbed of the opportunity to test ourselves unless we deliberately seek out adversity.  I think this is the root of some of the widespread mental health problems we see today.  It is often through worthwhile adversity that our lives gain purpose.

It is understandable that we want to embrace convenience and avoid hardship.  For all of human history until very recently human life was inherently full of great trial.  There are many people still today who live incredibly difficult lives for no other reason than fate dealt them a bad hand.  If you’re reading this, chances are that fate dealt you a good hand like it dealt me one.  We should be grateful that we don’t spend each day in constant worry of where we will find our next meal, or whether we might be taken to a gulag or suffer some other unfair fate, but that doesn’t mean we should avoid circumstances where we will be forced to push beyond the limits we thought we had.

“In pleasant peace and security, how quickly the soul of a man begins to die.”

-Teddy Roosevelt

Iron Sharpens Iron

One last analogy: a metal blade is often sharpened with a metal file.  The sharpening instrument must be at least as hard as the object being sharpened or the sharpener will accomplish nothing but to make some friction and heat.  Soft copper doesn’t sharpen hard iron, only iron sharpens iron.  It’s the same with personal development: if you want to become a better person, it is necessary to surround yourself with better people.

I will be starting this walk alone, but there will be 49 other hikers starting northbound with me on April 2nd, and 50 hikers each day before and after.  We come from many unique backgrounds, but all share the common desire to do something uniquely difficult.  I expect that we will learn much from each other, and I know that I will become a better person by being in their presence.  When I want to quit or complain, I can look to their example to draw the strength to carry on with gratitude.  How could I give anything less than my best while surrounded by others who are giving their best?

Why, again:

I’ve decided to hike the PCT because I want the challenge, because I think it will push me to become a better person, and because I don’t think I can afford to procrastinate this goal any longer.  Oh –  that and the PCT winds through 2,650 miles of the most stunning terrain on planet earth.  Let’s not forget about that.  I don’t think I’m unique.  I bet that if you asked ten other thru hikers why they’re doing it, nine of them would tell you essentially the same damn thing I’m telling you.

There are some logistical challenges I will discuss in upcoming blogs.  I have some nagging injuries from my time in the Army that I have had to deal with in my pre-hike training.  I also run a business – planning for five months off is not easy.  I will write a bit in the coming weeks about how I’ve worked to mitigate these challenges.  Until then – cheers.

P.S. – the photo at the top is a little misleading because it’s from Glacier National Park, which you probably know is not on the PCT.  I really like the photo though, and the feeling that I felt taking that photo is a lot like the feeling I felt writing this post.  I hope to take a lot more like it along the PCT.