">
The One About the Girl That Walked to Canada
“I’ve told people that this has been my biggest heartbreak, but also my life’s greatest love story”
I’m writing this almost three months after finishing the PCT. I didn’t know how to start. Still don’t really know to be honest. How do you summarize a journey like this. How do you answer the question “How was it?”. How do you move back with your parents after living six months in the woods. I have no idea.
I would love to write something really smart. Profound and deep. To come up with a short, great answer to the people asking. But I can’t. This trail changed me, yes, it turned everything upside down. But I didn’t come out the other side enlightened and with my life figured out. Maybe I’m even more lost than I was before.
I still take things for granted and spend too much time on my phone. I didn’t start to meditate, and I still hate my body some mornings. I didn’t become a better version of myself. But I think I became a more real one. The trail worked like a mirror in that way. It showed me everything. Even the things I didn’t wanted to see.
I learnt that everything comes in two
Love and grief. Blisters and calluses. Ramen and peanut butter. Loneliness and togetherness. A beginning and an end. And that the first can’t exist without the second.
I learnt that I am capable of so much more than I ever thought was possible. And I learnt the kindness of strangers. Some of them turning into lifelong friends but all of them playing such an important role in my adventure. Maybe even the most important one.
My greatest love story
I’ve told people that this has been my biggest heartbreak, but also my life’s greatest love story. And that’s the only way I can explain it. Even though life goes on, and I’m working and living and shoveling snow here back home. It’s on my mind all the time. I dream about trail during night, but at the same time I can’t make myself look at any photos when I’m awake.
But I promised myself to never forget this life
We all promised. To never forget how it was to sleep under the stars, wake up with the sun in our face, eat disgusting cold-soaked mashed potatoes and create bonds with people through literal blood, sweat and tears. How incredibly cold, warm, scared and completely fucking exhausted we’ve been. How my body that I disliked throughout so many parts of my life, actually carried me for 4200 kilometers. How I grew brave. And how the aching in my heart is a result of everything it felt.
I look down on my body
My tan is next to gone by this point. The calluses on my feet the same. The only thing remaining are the small scars created by the bushes and the trees. I follow them like a map on my legs. I remember each and every one of them and how I got them. How it felt and where I was. My once very pink hair has a faint shade of pastel now. And how I cried when I scraped the last bit of nail polish from my toenails that I painted in Oregon. My body looks almost exactly the same. I wear the same wardrobe as I did leaving Sweden and everything is just like it was. Except that it isn’t.
On trail we felt invincible
And we were. We could chug a beer, eat a pizza and still keep hiking a marathon a day. But reality hit us hard when we all got back home. Some of us were greeted by war, sickness and heartbreak at their door. And we had to learn again. How nothing is promised and all we have is moments. And that is what makes this life. The ugly, beautiful, impermanence of it all.
But in the end, this was just a story about a hike. A long one. About hardship and beauty. Struggle and friendship. How a girl started walking from Mexico, but a woman came to Canada. But mostly this was a story about love. Because that’s what it was about. In the end.
Thank you. For everything.
//Snowmobile – over and out
This website contains affiliate links, which means The Trek may receive a percentage of any product or service you purchase using the links in the articles or advertisements. The buyer pays the same price as they would otherwise, and your purchase helps to support The Trek's ongoing goal to serve you quality backpacking advice and information. Thanks for your support!
To learn more, please visit the About This Site page.
Comments 13
Sara, what a beautiful post … your comment that all we have are momemts really resonated with me. When its working well, hiking helps us stay in that moment. Thanks for sharing
“I would love to write something really smart. Profound and deep.” You did,.. and as what Mark wrote, it was a beautiful post. Thank You! And,.. just to be a little greedy, I hope to read future posts from you.
What a pleasure and inspiration to read your blogs, and especially this one. I’ve gotten much too comfortable and you’ve encouraged me to push out of that and get back into the wildness of life a bit.
Thank you!
Wow Sara,
I loved your commentary about your journey.
I am about to begin mine on the Appalachian trail soon and often wonder if I will be elevated to some sureaal existence upon completion.
Deep in my heart though,I know that there is not much more to figure out about myself..
I did good. I’m older now and proud of the things I’ve done..such as raising several little ones to become very kool adults themselves all the while wishing and dreaming about accomplishing something like what you have.
I’m pretty sure that your journey will make everything much easier for you to handle in and around society whereas my journey is more of an escape from it.We will always wind up back in the place we started from.I have always wondered about the ” meaning of life”..lol
ITS JUST THE JOURNEY .
Take care and hope you have a blast on the rest of the ride..
Shawn
C.
Thank you for this authentic piece of art and love. Truly moving and profound. Well done you brave woman.
Well written! Keep on your journey. It has not ended.
To say I am jealous would be a glorious understatement. Hats off to you for completing the trail. I tried a long section hike back in ’22 but gastro issues forced me off the trail way too soon. But, the experience will never go away. Have a great Christmas !
Great post. Congratulations on finishing the PCT. David Odell AT71 PCT72 CDT77
WELL GAL I GUESS YOU LEARNED A LESSON THAT YOU CAN NOT WALK FROM HOME . !!! JESUS SHOES ???
FROM NORTH MONTANA AS SOON AS I FINISH MY CURRENT BOOK I MAY WRITE ✍️ IF YHHY PERMITTS IN YESHUAS NAME. – A VERY LONG” WALK” 75 + YEARS !!!!!!!!!
SO A LITTLE GAL CAN WALK THE PACIFIC COAST TRAIL TO CANADA YOU JUST MISSED ME IN MONTANA . NO GREAT REVELATIONS HUH ! HOW OLD WERE YOU STARTING AND ENDING ????????
HAVE YOU EVER SPILLED A DROP OF BLOOD FOR YHHY OR EVEN THE POSSIBILITY ??????!!!!!!!!! LOKEN UNTO JOSEPH SOLD BY” BROTHERS” INTO SLAVERY!!!!!!!!!!!
AT AGE 12 AFTER A NUMBER OF HOME PROBLEMS TO THAT TIME . MY SUNDAY TEACHER AT THAT TIME was called to office and told he may not teach THE THREE KINGS . THAT WHICH HE LEARNED AT SAME SUNDAY WANNABE AND LEFT THE CLASS AND ? CHURCH? PROFOUND
I HAD EXPERIENCE FROM SO MANY FROM THAT TIME ON TO THIS DAY EVEN
IF YOU DID NOTHING ELSE BUT FIND THE TRUTH TO BE ACCEPTABLE TO YHHY AT HIS THRONE !!!!! RISE GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT AND ENTER ,THE SINS YOU HAVE DONE ARE FORGIVEN ! WHAT MUSIC TO THE EARS !!!!!! I AM FROM NW WASHINGTON THE OLYMPIC PARK IS IN MY MIND FOREVER !!!! SEVEN TIMES THROUGH THE FIRE AS IN PURIFY GOLD !
DO NOT KNOW WHICH I AM BUT HOPE I MAKE IT THROUGH ALL !!!!!
DID NOT READ ALL THROUGHLY SO 23 OF AGE !! SWEDEN YOU MUST HAVE SAVED A LONG WHILE AND PASSPORTS ETC !
WHERE DID YOU START AND END NORTH IDAHO .???! YOU ARE QUITE A STUNNING YOUNG GAL ?! HAVE YOU READ FOR YOURSELF EVEN ONE VERSION OF BIBLE?
I HAVE TEN TO CREDIT AT PRESENT ??!
IT GETS VERY QUIET HERE NIGHT AND WEEKENDS EARS CAN HURT !!!!!! YOUR COUNTRY ENDURED THE NAZI DIRECTLY .MY FATHER WAS FROM CANADA AND JUST GOT PAST THE WW II IN SERVICE . I DID MY TIME IN USMC IN VIET IN COUNTRY . SO YOU COULD WALK HERE SAFE RELATIVELY.
IN OH GOD BOOK TWO A FEW LINES ARE TRUE NO GOOD WITHOUT BAD , UP & DOWN , FRONT& BACK —– TRUTH & LIES!
GAD YOU ARE 23 AND I AM 75+
THIS IS YESHUA BIRTHDAY CELEBRATE TIME AGAIN . HOW DO YOU DO IT THERE IF AT ALL ??????!
DID YOU HAVE ALL THE OTHERS IN PICS WITH YOU ON TRIP ? SWEDEN HAS SOME SERIOUS MOUNTIAN RANGE ! WILL HAVE TO LOOK UP YOUR COUNTRY FOR STUDY.
I DO A BIT OF THAT SORT OF THING , DOING GENEOLOGY, YHHY/ YESHUA STUDY
FROM THE DEEPTHS OF VIET SHOT AT ETC BY OWN SIDE TO LONE ON HIGH PLAINS OF MONTANA ! YHHY HAS PROVIDED ! MORE THAN I DESERVE FOR A SURITY!
YHHY BLESS AND KEEP HIS COUNTENENCE UPON YOU AND YOUR HOUSEHOLD . WOULD REALLY ENJOY WRITING TO YOU IF IT SEEMS GOOD TO YOU !!!!!
I’ve never related so much to someone on this site, I miss being out there.
Sarah, this is one of the best-written articles I have read, thank you for taking the time to synthesize everything into a wonderful article on the reality of coming to grips with being on trail, finishing, and with being yourself going forward. Really well done, thank you!
I have perhaps one tiny bit of wisdom. Even 50 years from now, you will remember every single thing. All you have to do is stare into the photo or into your mind and it will be there. Every scents, the feeling of sleet and then hot Mountain Sun on your neck, you will remember. Godspeed!
Never has another persons story inspired me as much as yours, I’ve dreamed about hiking the PCT and doing things that scare the shit out of me, but because I’m young and not a special person I never thought I would be able to, but you have shown me that I need to follow my heart wherever it takes me, so thank you so much for that. I wish you all the best Sara, and again, thank you.