A Scientific Explanation of Hiker Trash (in 25 Images)
New studies have taken aim at uncovering one of America’s most unknown and exotic subcultures, commonly referred to as “Hiker Trash”. With the wave of long distance hiking themed Hollywood blockbusters, teams of sociologists and scientists have banned together to collect data on this rare breed. Few studies have been conducted on the habits and rituals of Hiker Trash, but we have been keeping a watchful eye.
In this post, we have compiled several images which depict the many key attributes of this bizarre collection of creatures known as Hiker Trash.
One activity common amongst Hiker Trash is the act of indiscriminately lying around, otherwise known as competitive loitering. Scientists have yet to find the preferred location in which this aggressive inactivity takes place, but one can only assume that the occasional slothfulness is a result of the extreme physical demands of their daily lives.
It is not beyond the recognition of scientists and social psychologists that the feelings from the general public towards Hiker Trash often shifts as their numbers grow. It is inconclusive as to whether this is a result of a ‘mob mentality’ taking over the Hiker Trash and causing them to commit more brazen acts or if merely the increase in their numbers causes more concern from misunderstanding outsiders.
One unfailing act of Hiker Trash is an innate ability to find a way to meet their needs. It has been documented that they have very few needs in relation to regular humans and are also more flexible in how those needs are met. Frugal tendencies and a devil-may-care attitude fuel this aspect of Hiker Trash culture.
Many habits of Hiker Trash are failed to be explained by science despite ample effort. The most reasonable assumption is that changes occur in the brain over time as a result of separation from mainstream society.
It is well known that Hiker Trash carry their worldly possessions on their backs. Scientists have conducted countless experiments attempting to recreate the point in time at which a normal human decides that it’s a good idea to give up their fast moving car and weather proof, climate controlled house for only the contents inside a backpack. No conclusive results have been found.
There are two things that scientists and sociologists have definitive proof of as being corner stones of the Hiker Trash lifestyle. The first, and most important, would be food. Hiker Trash will go to undefinable lengths to acquire food, of which even the smallest of their kind require an extraordinary amount of.
The second most important factor of Hiker Trash culture is their feet. The feet are harrowed as a holy thing among Hiker Trash. Scientists have observed Hiker Trash looking after their feet with delicate attention despite their near-constant heinous condition.
Scientists and social psychologists still have much research to do in order to understand the habits of Hiker Trash. Much has been assumed and much has been built up over time by stories circulating the world of academia, but little to no confirmed facts are known for sure. They continue to work towards understanding this elusive, migratory subculture, but in the mean time they hold fast to one hopeful hypothesis. As Forrest Gump’s mother once famously said, “Hiker Trash is as Hiker Trash does.”
If you haven’t caught on yet, all of this is silly, nonsensical bullshit celebrating our favorite people in the world, Hiker Trash!! THANK YOU SO MUCH to all the wonderful Hiker Trash out there who contributed images for this post. I wish I could give a shout out to each and every one of you but there are so many! It was awesome going through all the images and a ton of fun to write. Thank you, again!! Long Live Hiker Trash!
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