Ten Days Left but Why Am I So Overwhelmed?
It’s the middle of the night and my mind is racing. I leave for the trail in ten days. There is so much going on. I picked up extra shifts last week and this week to make a little extra cash before setting off on trail. I have been going through my gear over and over to make sure nothing is missing. Checking it to see what I can take out to lighten my load. I’ve been trying to hang out with friends since I will be missing so much while gone. This overwhelming feeling is exhausting.
Now that the trail is just over a week away, the overthinking has begun. I keep asking myself the same questions over and over without a clear answer. Am I ready? Am I able to do this? Will I be OK? What happens if I fail? Will people think less of me if I fail? What about my life at home? Am I doing the right thing by leaving my life and family for six months? Will my dog remember me when I come home?
It’s hard to put into words my feelings right now. I just don’t know what I’m feeling. I don’t even think I could voice it. Is this normal? Does every potential thru-hiker go through this before their first major backpacking trip?
Don’t get me wrong. I am beyond excited for this adventure. I can’t stop thinking about all the amazing things that can come out of this hike. I know that not every thru-hiker makes it all the way. If I am one of the ones who doesn’t make it, I’ll still have so much that I gained from this adventure. All the friends I made along the way, the memories I made, the breathtaking sites I saw. Yes, it will suck for not having completed it but I never would have had those experiences if I didn’t at least try. If I make it, though, it will be just that much sweeter.
Overwhelming about certain things that I can’t change is not going to help anything. With just over a week left, I’m going to finish out my last week at work, spend time with family and friends, and relax.
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