The Back Burner, Catching Up, and Letting Go

3 weeks to go. I’ve been pretty relaxed. I’ve felt things. I’ve realized things. I haven’t packed my pack yet, or made mail drops. I usually do my best work under pressure. In February, I decided that I was not going to get back on the A.T. until I step foot on Springer. That deal I made with myself is still going strong. I’ve been enjoying the calm before the storm. From what I hear, I’m supposed to be obsessing over gear weight, mapping out my daily mileage, and completey consumed by my thru-hike, but I’m not. Instead,  hiking is simmering on the back burner and I am spending all of my time catching up and letting go.

I’ve decided this is my way of dealing with my pre-hike jitters. It was brought to my attention that I am so relaxed and calm for someone who is about to live in the woods without her family. Instead of obsessing over this fact, I am embracing it and spending as much time with my family as possible. Nearly every sunny day has been a park day. We went to the circus. We dropped everything and went to the beach for a weekend.

This is my “catch up” game. Nothing can make up for the time that I am gone, but I can cherish the time I have. For the moment, I am keeping my family and hiking separate. I am enjoying it.

On the flip side,  I am also letting go. As I slowly inform others of my leaving, I am temporarily letting go of bonds. I am slowly letting go of shifts at work. I am letting go of my normal eating habits. I am already letting my leg hair go. I’m trying to ignore the everyday luxuries that I will not have in the woods.

I am giving myself 2 more weeks of relaxation and then it will be 1 week of crunch time.  This may sound ill prepared, but this is what I need.