Why You Should Definitely NOT Hike the AT
1. You’ll miss out on a lot of TV.
Sure, Netflix will still be there – But think of all the spoilers you’ll be exposed to when months-old references become fair game.
2. Bears will eat you.
Plain and simple, if you hike the AT, bears will eat you. It’s a proven fact.
3. You already have enough friends.
Do you really want a diverse band of multi-national travelers sending you letters referencing some ‘life changing experience’ you shared, or inviting you to visit them in strange new places? That’s going to get old really quickly.
4. You’ll be forced to grow as a person.
Top photos from the AT (like this one from @thewildoutsiders) on #thetrek.co. Link’s in the profile. A photo posted by Appalachian Trials (@appalachiantrials) on
The only thing worse than building character while you do something challenging is realizing that your parents were right.
5. You’ve seen enough beautiful things for one lifetime.
Doesn’t get much better than this one from @hales.blevins on Max Patch. #appalachiantrail #appalachiantrials #maxpatch #nc #fallcolors #foliage #landscape A photo posted by Appalachian Trials (@appalachiantrials) on
Misty mornings in the Smokies? Sunset over Tinker Cliff? Fall foliage in the Hundred Mile Wilderness? Anyone perusing Instagram will tell you that it’s nothing new. By now, I’m sure you’ve seen enough breath-taking vistas that the panoramic White Mountains are basically a Tinder swipe left as far as scenery goes.
6. Driving is way faster.
Seriously, it takes like three days.
7. Cell service is unreliable.
What would your twitter followers say if you stopped posting about your travels just because you were on an adventure?
8. Your mom said no.
I talked to her for you, and she’s totally against it. She also mentioned that she gave you life.
9. You don’t know why you want to do it in the first place.
If only there were a book that could help you write a list…
10. You hate facial hair.
Maybe you’re horrified by the thought of beards. Maybe you’re Sweeny Todd. I don’t know, but whatever it is, Pogonophobia is no laughing matter.
11. The absence of light pollution makes you feel small and insignificant.
@bryanconley stargazing from the Wesser Bald tower. Brilliant. #appalachiantrials A photo posted by Appalachian Trials (@appalachiantrials) on
Stop bragging, Milky Way!
12. You’ll feel too guilty being forced to eat a diet of Snickers and cheese.
I mean, your friends back home are living off of quinoa and kale. It just seems wrong to be so hedonistic, doesn’t it?
13. You’ll be alone with your own thoughts.
What if your headphones break in the wild? Sure, you’ll start out trying to remember song lyrics or wondering why wallpaper has fallen out of fashion, but eventually you’ll find yourself steeped in introspection, processing past events that you’ve been safely repressing for decades.
14. The ponies are bullies.
Sure, the wild ponies of the Grayson Highlands will eat out of your hand and adorably nuzzle you, but try to ride them and they turn into total jerks.
15. Backpacking is for ultra-athletes.
Only the toughest can survive. And last but not least:
16. Thru-hiking is too hard and no one has any fun doing it.
#backpacking #longtrail #vermont #hikerslife #hikertrash A photo posted by Dave Harrold (@pookie_pie) on
#hikertrash #AT2015 #appalachiantrail #friends #trekking #backpacking #hiking #bravehearthiker #spartykafoundation #NewJersey #outdoors #adventure #followme #instagood #smiles #GeorgiaToMaine A photo posted by Beth Matteson (@bravehearthiker) on
@andrewcrepp Entry 25 McAfee Knob contest #sunrise#mcafee#mcafeeknob#hikertrash#goatworthy#appalachiantrail#appalachiantrials#rei1440project#letscamp#theoutbound#visitvirginia#virginia#blueridgemoments#explore#wildernessculture#ourplanetdaily#myappalachiantrail#BetterOutHere#seeforyourself#exploremore#travelstoke#travel#natureaddict#photooftheday#hike#wanderlust#campvibes#mcafeesknob A photo posted by Hiker Trash (@myappalachiantrail) on
But, if you’re dead set on making a bad decision and hiking the AT, you might as well join the Appalachian Trials Blogging team.
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