FOMO

Prologue

I suffer from FOMO and I have the scars to prove it, but still, there’s more. So much more to do and see. Yet time, that slippery serpent is always at my door. A debt collector of my most precious resources. “Haven’t I given enough; I ask.”

“No,” he answers, “nooo, there is always more to give.”

I slam the door, leaning with my back against it, heart pounding. There is a full-length mirror on the wall across from where I stand. I see myself. Really see me. My face has begun to slightly sag in places. There is a fleshy inner tube around my middle that wasn’t there before. My skin is dry. My breasts droop. Veins have started popping out behind my knee. I have difficulty remembering simple things. On the inside, I feel like I’m young, but on the outside, I am beginning to look older. If I don’t look in the mirror, I forget that I’m in my 50’s.

When did I get old? The brain doesn’t age as the body does. It holds on to the past image of you, perpetuating the lie. I still feel young. I am a 22-year-old trapped in a much older body. Getting old is not for sissies.

I am the Dreamer of my Dreams

Everything within the scope of our lives begins with a dream or a thought. Many times, a simple thought becomes the grandest of things.

To wake up and follow your heart’s desire, regardless of what those around you say, is what you owe yourself to do. It comes down to the inner fire that drives you to live life the way you feel you should, rather than how you are told you should.

I am a dreamer. I read somewhere that there are no UN-achievers, whatever that means. Sorry, but there are a lot of people who will end up not achieving their dreams. Some people never take their dreams seriously. Some have doodled their time away at home waiting for the right time to achieve their dream, and others are stuck in a job trying to fit in.

The truth is few people know what they want; they are so used to just doing what is expected of them. I’ve spoken to many individuals who admit that their current pursuit is something their parents desired for them. Most people never find dedicated time to pursue their inner passion. Most of the time, people dismiss their dreams as temporary or a fad. Often people take too much time before they act toward achieving their dreams until all hopes and opportunities are gone.

Even those who say they are not dreamers, still dream. We all find ourselves daydreaming at times. Maybe it’s about a perfect job, perfect family, perfect vacation, or about a perfect life, in general. No one can take our dreams away from us. No one, other than time, that is.

On the upside. Your dreams can come true, but for that to happen you need to start working on them. It’s not going to be easy. On your journey to making your dreams a reality, there will be obstacles to overcome. There will be moments when things get tough, and you’ll feel like giving up. At this point, you’ll have to push yourself just enough to get out of that slump so you can continue what you’ve started. To help you keep moving when you feel like quitting. Wait, that kind of sounds like a day out on the trail, doesn’t it?

I am approaching the heart of this post. To help others realize that passion is the best answer to the distress of everyday life. The best place to build your well of blessings is the place you’re hurting the most. If you don’t like your present situation, you can change your approach and follow through with your passion for becoming an achiever. Its that simple.

“They” say change is hard, but it’s not, unless you are complacent. One of the toughest obstacles people face in achieving their dream is thinking that they need approval from others before they can pursue their dream. But the truth is, you don’t need anyone’s approval.

Chances are, people will envy you, some will sneer at you, and others won’t even care that you are in the pursuit of your passion. And they are right because your dream does not require the approval of anyone other than you.

Can I be sincere with you for a moment? The best thing you can do toward achieving your dream is to start now, move quickly, start with anything, no matter how small it is. Every day you will be making progress, and it never stops until you achieve that goal.

Dedicating specific focus to your dream will keep you creative, passionate, and persistent. It will reduce the focus on the unnecessary activities of your day. Some people might start finding your presence uncomfortable and will often look for somewhere else to feed their lazy and sluggish walk-through life. That is of no concern to you. The more time you devote to your dream the more process you will make toward becoming an achiever.

Someone once wrote: “Today’s work lies behind tomorrow’s success.” If you want to achieve your dream in your lifetime, you must develop the momentum to schedule a life around your dream.

This information will be on the Test

Dream it

Your obsession will be the magnet that will pull others toward you to help participate in your dream.

“If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.” This quote by Ellen Johnson Sirleaf says it all.

Donald Trump, says: “As long as you’re going to be thinking anyway, think big.”

Dreams should be outrageous, wild, and even supernatural. If everybody around you tries to persuade you that your dreams are unrealistic to achieve, that your efforts will fall flat and you’re going to fail tremendously, then achieving your dreams is going to be that much more amazing and this is a sure sign you’re on the right path.

Dreaming is like shapeshifting. It is about changing yourself or your trajectory. In lore, mythology, and fantasy, a shapeshifter is someone who physically transforms into another being. This is your goal. Transformation.

You have behavior patterns that you repeat over and over again. Some are good and some are bad. Change your habits and associations to change who you are.

“Vision is the spectacular that inspires us to carry out the mundane.” —Chris Widener

Start to realize your dream by breaking it down into steps? It isn’t always that clean and easy, but those who achieve remarkable things all start somewhere. Your first step, no matter how small, will get you on the road to achieving your dream.

Everything begins in the heart and mind. Someone dared to dream, to believe that it was possible. Don’t let negative thinking discourage you. You want to be a “dreamer.” Otherwise, what is the point of life? To work until we die. Live paycheck to paycheck. Will we not die with debt either way?

What truly makes you happy is something that you know on a deep level. This happiness has the potential to extend into every aspect of our lives.

Our dreams are interconnected with this happiness. Remember: your heart is always looking out for your best interests. Happiness is part of your best interest. If you are genuinely happy with what you’re doing every day, you will NEVER work a day in your life.

We develop a sense of regret when we do not do what we truly desire most in life. The reason this happens is that our dreams, our goals, are so intense that sometimes, it gives us extraordinarily little room to do anything else. By listening to that inner voice, we can avoid feeling the regret of not being able to fulfill our dreams.

If you think about it, trying to ignore your dreams is really hard to do. You have to basically ignore yourself on a 24-hour basis. However, following your dreams may seem like a scary thing – but the steps are there if you’re listening and paying attention.

Listening to your inner voice and following your dreams creates a sense of self-trust that most people never reach. This self-trust is an essential part of knowing who you are and living a life of clarity.

Yes, your dream needs to be big. It needs to be something that is seemingly beyond your capabilities. But it also must be realistic. You must be able to say that if certain things take place, if others help, if you work hard enough, though it is a big dream, it can still be done.

The fear of failure is the only thing that makes a dream impossible.

Believe it. 

Get inspired by the stories of great people.

This is my favorite way to challenge my limiting beliefs. We often forget that all “great” people started somewhere. No matter what they eventually became, most had humble beginnings. Reading their stories, especially how they start, will inspire you and open your mind to new possibilities.

Here is the key though: don’t read their stories as a spectator. Instead, put yourself in their shoes. Imagine yourself being in their position, overcoming challenges and defying expectations. This will inspire you to have bigger dreams for yourself.

Ask yourself, ‘What could you do today to move one step closer toward achieving your dream?’ Write it down and take the appropriate action.

Next, mention your dream to others, affirm it to friends, manifest it into reality. Be bold in declaring your dream in your day-to-day living.

Sometimes the stumbling block that holds people back from achieving their dream is that they doubt themselves, doubt they have what it takes to launch their dream into reality. The truth is, you already have all you need, you just have to start feeding and fueling your dreams.

See it.

 

The great achievers have a habit. They “see” things. They picture themselves participating in their dream.

Great free-throw shooters in the NBA picture the ball going through the basket. PGA golfers picture the ball going straight down the fairway. All of this grooms the mind to control the body to carry out the dream.

We have to live with ourselves even when we are in a house full of people. That little voice inside you (which we aptly call the inner voice), or your heart, is in constant conversation within us. It can be a nagging voice of truth, or an inner guide to attaining your goals.

Everything takes time yet time is not infinite.  This is definitely clear in my post titled “The Reason.”

The Reason

Tell it. 

One reason many dreams never go anywhere is because the dreamer keeps it all to himself. It is a quiet dream that only lives inside of his mind. The one who wants to achieve their dream must tell that dream to many people. One reason: As we continually say it, we begin to believe it more and more. If we are talking about it, then it must be possible. Another reason: It holds us accountable. When we have told others, it spurs us on to actually doing it, so we don’t look foolish.

“Telling it” i.e., expressing your dreams to others is important so we can make use of positive statements or affirmations so we can align our feelings with our goals and have more self-confidence as we face life’s challenges. I use affirmations to start each morning. I say them while I’m working to align my focus with my goals and who I am.

Have you ever shared your dream with someone, only to have them stomp on it with a few unsupportive words?

‘I’ve been thinking about writing a book, and—’ 

‘It’s really hard to get published, you know.’ 

There’s a breed of control freaks who quietly lurk, ready to attack your precious, vulnerable ideas as soon as you share them with the world. These people are known as cynics, non-supporters, dream killers, pessimists, or just plain old assholes.

You’ll find them in the workplace, in social circles, in the family, or in your marital bed. It could be your boss, your pal, your parents, your partner, your neighbor, your neighbor’s sister’s husband … the list goes on and on.

Regardless of where you encounter them, pessimists all have the same toxic tendency: they get off on popping bubbles, raining on parades, throwing wet blankets on ambitions, and dousing dreams. “What’s that? You want to take six months off work to…. hike?”

This is usually how it unfolds: you dream up a plan that excites you to the core of your being. It may be an adventure, a new career path, an artistic pursuit, or a crazy invention to rival scotch tape. Hopefully, it involves a plan more inspired than quitting your job to sit at home in your robe growing out your leg hair, while watching soaps all day long (in lieu of using soap). If that is your ambition, you’re not dealing with cynics, you’re dealing with sane people. Get professional help.

But if you have a solid, well-considered life dream that you’re driven to accomplish, you’ll probably want to share it with friends, family, and co-workers. You’ll want to come out of the closet with your grandiose dream. Some will pat you on the back and say, “GO FOR IT,” but there’s always at least one person who gets off on knocking the ice cream cone out of your hand.

Common remarks from pessimists:

You might receive ‘helpful advice’ like: ‘I know someone else who tried that, and it didn’t work out for them.’ 

Your confidence will be attacked with: ‘Are you sure you’re qualified?’

Cynics love to highlight the impracticalities of your dream, “You can’t make any money doing that.”

Or they’ll call upon ‘normal people’ as the basis for their argument, pointing out how you’re destined for failure because you’re not acting like one of them. ‘Normal people usually just get a real job,’ or, ‘This isn’t what normal people do.’ 

There’s a straightforward way to know if you’re dealing with a pessimist. When their mouth opens up and words come out, does it:

Make your heart happy?

If your answer is yes, you’re being lovingly supported.

Make you feel like your entrails have just been through a meat mincer?

If your answer is yes, you’ve been admonished by an asshole.

The psychology of an asshole: Most often, cynics have not fulfilled their own dreams. They don’t live an inspired existence because they’re too busy living in fear. Maybe they made the mistake of listening to their own pessimists, and they’re just parroting words that have kept them down their whole life? Perhaps they believe that life is all about living inside a fantasyland called Pleasantville, where regular people populate the average town of Mediocrity, sipping on lukewarm cups of boring?

Chances are, they’re simply scared. Fear of loss, fear of being alone, fear of change, fear of being insignificant, fear of death or injury, fear of being judged. Your wild ambitions threaten the cynic. Who likes to keep life safe, simple, and predictable, and by being a dream sponge, they’re hoping to keep you small and easy to manage. Your goal threatens to throw out the equilibrium of their universe. But the cynic is out of luck because the entire universe doesn’t actually belong to them (as much as they like to believe that it does).

If the negative comments are coming from a person, you care deeply about, see what you can do to talk it through. Ask them what their concerns are, and without judgment, address them one by one. Don’t let it escalate into an argument—stay calm. Comfort them through their fears, while peacefully standing your ground. This is your life, your journey, and your happiness, so own it and make it clear that you won’t sway from your dream. Negotiate and compromise, if possible, but make sure you leave the conversation with a happy, light heart. If you come away from the conversation feeling heavy and sad, you’ve just been thwarted once again by an asshole. Perhaps it’s time to consider therapy?

If the criticism is coming from your family, or a dear friend, it may be best to simply block it out. Have confidence in your plans and refuse to hear their negativity. Locate your internal switch called GIVE A FUCK and simply flick it over from DO to DON’T.

Perhaps the cynic is a friend or partner who never supports your dreams? If you find yourself in a relationship with a toxic person who continually tears holes in your ambitions, it may be best to cut off the relationship. Choose to surround yourself with people who make you happy and put you in a positive place. Align with people who blow air into your balloon, rather than those standing around with pins ready to pop them.

I mean, let’s face it: at the end of the day, in the night’s quiet, we have to answer to ourselves. If we follow our hearts, we are at peace. If we don’t, we develop an inner turmoil that ultimately will defeat us and drain us of life.

Plan it. 

Never let regrets take the place of dreams.

Every dream must take the form of a plan. The old saying that you “get what you plan for” is so true. Your dream won’t just happen to you. You need to sit down, on a regular basis, and plan out your strategy for achieving the dream. Think through all of the details. Break the whole plan down into small, workable parts. Then set a time frame for accomplishing each task on your “dream plan.”

In working on your dreams, prepare yourself to meet difficulties. Expect challenges ahead. That way you won’t lose heart when difficulties come. You will be able to keep going.

Those around you might say that what you are aiming for is too ambitious. They might advise you to just live a “normal” life instead. But living “normal” is not the way to go if you want to live your life to the fullest. So be careful; don’t let yourself get pulled back toward the average.

My plans started with a plan to get more active and slowly

pulling together the gear I would need.

Work it. 

Boy, wouldn’t life be grand if we could skip this one! Unfortunately, the successful are usually the hardest workers. While the rest of the world is sitting on their sofas watching reruns of 90 Day Fiancé, achievers are working on their goal—achieving their dream.

It’s easier than it sounds. Just remember, everything should be done step by step, little by little. You’ll get there, eventually.

This is true. How many people have become rich and successful by doing something they didn’t really put in 110 percent of their effort?

Your dreams are a blueprint for what you should truly be doing. This is essentially your calling, your purpose, your destiny all fused into one.

If you work on something you love, then it isn’t work. Suddenly, you’re building the way to your dream one step at a time. Life is a playground, and it should be enjoyed. Invest in what fulfills you.

It really is important to break our plans down into tiny steps we can achieve and celebrate. It’s so hard to get down on oneself or feel overwhelmed by our to do lists!

Having a dream is one thing, but making it happen is another thing. You need to have a battle plan. As Scott Adams once said, “Losers have goals and winners have strategies.”

Your plan doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, you may have to update it along the way as you encounter new situations. The important thing is that you think about how to reach your dreams.

Your dreams might seem so big that you feel overwhelmed. But remember that the way to complete the trail is one step at a time. Similarly, what you need to do is to pay the price day by day.

Don’t think about how big the challenge is. Instead, just make sure that you move at least one step forward every day. If you are consistent, you will make noteworthy progress over time.

Enjoy it. Inspire Others.

When you have reached your goal and you are living your dream, be sure to enjoy it. In fact, enjoy the journey, too. Give yourself some rewards along the way. Give yourself a huge reward when you get there. Help others enjoy it. Be gracious and generous. Use your dream to better others. Being kind and gracious and helping others is the absolute best way we can achieve our goals in life. Living like that, we create a flow of positive energy that carries us forward to our own destiny.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where many people feel like they can’t do the things they genuinely want. However, if you step up and decide that you want to live the life you always dreamed about, you’ll accomplish it.

Of course, this may sound like a spin on positivity just to get the engine running, but it’s not. As humans, we are meant for greatness. As creators, we are meant to better the world we live in. Our dreams grow the world in many aspects.

Not only are you fulfilling your inner fire, but you are also telling those around you they can, as well. Nothing is more important than being an example of greatness by simply following your heart.

Once your dream is accomplished go back to No. 1. And dream a little bigger this time!

I am the Dreamer of my Dreams

When we overcome something, even something small, we realize how much of the fear, resistance, and worry were of our own making. We are constantly feeding our minds with fuel that derails our dreams. Our minds keep entertaining undesirable scenarios in our head and then wonder why we’re so anxious. We play our victimization fantasies over and over in our minds, only adding to our sense of separation and distance from the world.

But, when we’ve had enough, we realize that we are creating many of the shadows we are scared of. Have the courage to turn on the lights so that the apparent monsters reveal themselves as nothing to be afraid of. When we realize we have been the dreamer of this nightmare all along we can relax and move forward. If we have the power to create shadows, how much more capable are we of creating light? By stepping into our shoes as the dreamer of our own dreams, we take radical responsibility for our thoughts, for our minds, and for our wellbeing. One by one, we replace the thoughts of fear with thoughts of success. Word by word, the story of our lives starts to be retold.

Epilogue

Life is to be lived in accordance with what makes us sincerely happy. Our modern society, many times, pushes us towards an unfavorable existence. We believe we are meant to be unhappy, with small glimpses of happiness sprinkled over the entirety of our lives.

Now, I’m NOT saying we need to be happy 24/7. However, being able to fulfill your dreams and being in a somewhat constant state of bliss pretty much go hand in hand.

Remember, an existence in which we work at a job we don’t like, to make money to buy things we may not need, in order to retire one day, doesn’t seem overly exciting, does it? If we don’t fulfill our innermost desire, we are left empty and drained.

There might be times when you seem to get stuck. You might see no meaningful progress for a long time. In such a situation, it’s tempting to just give up your dreams.

Don’t do that. “Flat” seasons are normal. In life and on the trail, there are peaks and valleys. It’s something everyone must go through. Keep dreaming. Keep moving forward. You need to think about what you can improve, of course, but keep the fire burning within you. If you do that, a new season will eventually come where things get bright again.

Dreams are often depicted as unreasonable, illogical, and unattainable by our society. Yet, these very dreams and thoughts are the things that make life worth living and fantastic!

Living normal is easy. Living your life to the fullest, however, is not. It’s a great adventure though.

Are you in for the ride?