A Message To Those Who Have Trauma
TW: Sexual Assault
Today, exactly 3 years ago, (July 13th)
I was sexually assaulted.
My life changed in that single moment.
I went from being a human full of life and seeing the beauty in the world to being scared, hateful, and empty.
I had collapsed. Given up.
I couldn’t even go to the bathroom by myself. I couldn’t leave my bed. I couldn’t take my poor puppy out by myself.
I was afraid of everything.
Even my own shadow.
I had night terrors every night. I would wake up screaming and crying multiple times in the night. I never thought I would move past this. I attempted suicide. I had hit new lows I never thought were possible.
And then one day
I decided I was going to hike the PCT. A 2,650 mile long trail from the border of Mexico to Canada.
Now here I am.
Three years later.
Doing exactly that.
Today is still difficult. Today I still cried.
To the men who have assaulted me: You took away my worth, my privacy, my energy, my time, my safety, my intimacy, my confidence, my own voice, my life… until now.
I am a different person.
Today I am
I am not what happened to me. I am who I chose to become now. Who I chose to inspire and support and love.
For those who are reading this…
Don’t be ashamed of your story. It will inspire others. I was told I was crazy to attempt this, and sometimes I still think I am, but the messages I get from others saying how I helped them get out of bed that day or that I inspire them to keep fighting, keeps me going.
I’m doing this damn thing. I’m raising money for others like me who need help like I needed it. I am here for you. I am here for myself. I show up everyday hiking miles for myself and other survivors and I am going to finish this crazy adventure ???
My emotions on trail can still change pretty quickly, going from smiling at sunsets and goofing off, to crying in my tent for an hour. I will keep pushing, keep walking. I won’t give up. I will never give up on this, because giving up means I’m giving up on me. And I will never give up on myself again.
This website contains affiliate links, which means The Trek may receive a percentage of any product or service you purchase using the links in the articles or advertisements. The buyer pays the same price as they would otherwise, and your purchase helps to support The Trek's ongoing goal to serve you quality backpacking advice and information. Thanks for your support!
To learn more, please visit the About This Site page.