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Day 61: Shock and Comfort
The Text No One Wants
“Love you. Please contact me asap. Sad news. I’m going to tell you via text because I don’t want you to think it’s the kids or anything. I’m so sorry to tell you that your brother died in his sleep last night.”
When I reached the top of the 3,700-foot climb up Bluff Mountain from the James River and turned on my phone, this text from Northstar popped up. I had put my phone in airplane mode when I started hiking because I had forgotten to charge it overnight.
I’d climbed well, despite a migraine and realizing half-way up that I’d forgotten Gus’ dog chow and water, which put us both on reduced rations for the day. Suddenly, none of that mattered.
My brother was only 66. He had three great kids, seven grandkids, and had been married to his college sweetheart for 44 years. A few years ago, he’d left a corporate job to start his own successful consulting business. His firm was just taking off.
Five days ago, we’d planned to meet up near Roanoke, but the combination of his family and work obligations and my long day along the closed Blue Ridge Parkway put a stop to that. No matter, we’d catch up at his place in Indianapolis on our drive back to Arizona in the fall. We had plenty of time.
Except that we didn’t.
Hiking in a Daze
I only vaguely remember my hike after that. Aside from a nasty pond Gus found by a shelter and returned from caked in reeking mud I smelled all afternoon, it all went by in a blur. I saw some ridgetop views, lovely green groves, mountain streams, a dozen deer, and some lovely flowers, but I forgot to photograph most of it.
Was this one of the “good days” on the AT that youthful hiker was enthused about yesterday?
800 Miles
In the early afternoon, I hiked up to the 800-mile marker. Two hikers my age sat there, digging a late lunch out of their bear cannisters. Three international hikers walked in just behind me (South Africa, Switzerland, and Quebec). We took the obligatory selfies by the pinecones that spelled out 800 and exchanged our trail names.
The two older hikers were named Jethro and Shazam. Shazam’s name got a laugh and the obvious follow-up question. No, he wasn’t named for the superhero or the musical act. He’d given up eating meat some years ago for health reasons and took the name Belteshazzar in honor of a Biblical character who’d done the same thing. Belteshazzar turned out to be too much of a mouthful for most hikers, who shortened it to Shazam.
If you want to kill a conversation in the modern world, just mention the Bible. After a second of awkward silence, I asked Shazam, “So…Daniel wasn’t an option?” Belteshazzar was the prophet Daniel’s Babylonian name (think Daniel and the Lion’s Den). Shazam and Jethro caught my eye and gave a little nod indicating that we each knew which team we played for.
Are You Having a Good Day?
Then one of the three internationals asked me if I was having a good day and I robotically started to answer, “Yes, it’s a …” and then stopped myself. “No.” I said, “This not a good day. It’s an awful day. I just found out my brother died unexpectedly early this morning.”
Everyone offered their condolences and sympathetically asked the right kinds of heartfelt questions. It felt cathartic to talk to someone about it, though it hardly removed the pain. After a few minutes, the internationals walked on, and I followed them out a bit later.
Done
After a short walk from the 800-mile spot, I arrived early at my pickup point, which turned out to be a sketchy gravel road by a wobbly wooden suspension foot bridge over the Pedlar River. I enticed Gus into the swimmable river with a game of fetch, hoping to remove a few layers of the smelly mud and some of the ticks he’d undoubtedly picked up today.
Then I leashed him up and took him back up to the road to dry off while we waited for Northstar. There was too much mud along the riverbank to let him roam unleashed.
Providence or Serendipity?
As we waited, the sky clouded over and began to drizzle. I got up to dig out my rain gear and saw Jethro and Shazam coming down the trail on their way north. Jethro saw me and came right over, saying he couldn’t get me out of his mind. His brother had died under similar circumstances a few years ago. Then he asked if I’d be willing to let them pray for me. Mind? I’d be honored and grateful.
We stood together, exchanged our “real” names, choked out prayers for Tim’s family and mine, and added a few drops of our own to the rain. Thankful for our “chance” meeting, we parted ways feeling comforted and encouraged.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, Thou art with me.
So, yes, youthful hiker, I had a bad day on the AT. But parts of it were very good.
Daily Stats:
- Start: James River Footbridge (Mile 787.3)
- End: Reservoir Road (Mile 802.3)
- Weather: Hazy, pleasant
- Earworm: Proud Mary
- Meditation: Ps. 23:4
- Plant of the Day: View-blocking trees on Big Rocky Row
- Best Thing: Jethro & Shazam
- Worst Thing: Loss of my only brother
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Comments 36
I am so sorry for your loss. I was happy to read that Jethro and Shazam sought you out to comfort you. It is reassuring that their are good people out there. May God bless you and your family.
Almost as if there’s a plan, huh? We are blessed.
Prayers for you and your family. So, so sorry.
Thank you, Dawn.
I am so sad for you and your family. I can’t imagine the pain and emptiness the loss of your brother brings. I am saying prayers, sending love and thoughts to you, Northstar, and Gus, and shedding a few tears for your brother💔🙏.
Thanks, Charlotte.
My only remaining brother recently accused me of making his eyes sweat. My eyes are sweating for you, my brother. So thankful that our perfect and loving Heavenly Father sent you Shazam and Jethro, to comfort you in your heartache. I am asking, seeking and knocking on behalf of you and Northstar right now.
By the way, we live 3 hours north of where you stopped last night. Anything that you need, logistically for whatever happens next, we want to help you with. Just let me know! 😥
Thank you so much, Homeward. We’ll keep that in mind, but right now we’re okay.
Wow, just wow. Of course, I offer my condolences. I can not imagine the pain and shock running through your thoughts. You will get through this. I know that there is nothing that I can do or say that will ease your pain. However, if you need anything please reach out. I know I can not fill the void but I will do anything you need me to.
Cheers!
Thanks, Tentman.
My condolences to you and your family on the loss of your brother. Please know that prayers are offered for you and your family to get through this time. God bless you all and keep you safe and healthy.
Thank you Phyllis
Wow, what a gut punch. Very sorry for your loss, and glad there was some support even out there on the trail in the form of strangers. The trail provides?
Thanks!
Sorry for your loss Gods blessings to you and your loved ones . Have safe journey 😇🙏🕊
Thank you
Prayers for you and your family and yes there is never enough time on earth for love ones to hold hang out with etc. Thank God for Shazam and Jethro to comfort you.
Amen.
So sorry for your loss, Jon. I’m grateful you have so much life around you to help you heal as you mourn.
Thank you
I am so sorry, Jon. I don’t *really* know you, but after stumbling on one of your posts last week, I went back to the start and got caught up on your journey, so I feel like I know you a *little* through what you have shared. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother Tim, and I am praying for his family and yours. Take care.
Welcome to the tribe. Glad to have you. Thx for your prayers
I’m so sorry about your brother! It’s so tough! I lost my twin sister while on a 6-day river trip two years ago, and didn’t find out until two days later. Jethro and I met at the NC border! Great guy and glad he was there to say a prayer. Hoping you’ll use those wonderful woods to help you through this! 💙🐦
Hi, Bluebird. Thanks so much. Are you still on the trail? Where are you? Do you know where SOCO is?
Hi Jon… I got off at mile 603. Just terrible post trail depression, but my feet could not keep going. Soko was such a great hiking partner. Had to say goodbye. So tough. We did really well together. He’s still on trail. Last he texted me was he was past the triple crown. He’d told me he had a wedding in early June and was going to take off for a few days. Maybe you two will meet up… but with the two zeros.. who knows? Sure enjoy reading your articles. Highlight of my mornings. I’m going back to mile 603 next March 24, and keep on going. I won’t be a thru hiker, but I’m going to finish that trail.
Best of luck to Northstar, too. Hoping you two will finally get physically well. I wish you the best of luck dealing with the loss of your brother. At least you’ll be with Mother Nature. 💙🐦
I am so sorry for your families loss, you all are in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time and have my deepest condolences.
Thank you
Before my young brother died he said, “Always”. And so it is, “Always.
Indeed
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad Northstar is with you. My sincere condolences.
Me too. Thanks
John 11:25-26 “Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live…’ ” I started following your daily logs because of your sense of humor. I kept following when I saw the daily meditations in your “Daily Stats”. The Lord be with and comfort you and your family. -Tom
Who knew believers liked to laugh? Thx and good verse.
Jon, I can’t really add to what Homeward said. Prayers for your entire family, sir.
Thanks, Mike.