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The “People-Pleaser to Thru-Hiker” Pipeline
First things first. Thanks for showing up.
If you are reading this, you are probably my mom. Hi, mom!
If you are not my mom, you are probably my dad. Hi, Dad!
If you are neither of the two people who brought me into this world, you are probably another family member or a friend who may as well be family.
HOWEVER, if by some miracle you don’t fall into any of the aforementioned categories, a sincere “thank you” for stumbling onto this page. I promise to make the next few minutes of reading well worth your while. (**and if not, you will find information to request a refund at the bottom of this page – read to the end to find it)
You may wonder why I gathered you here today. Well, I am getting ready to go on an adventure, and I think every adventurer needs to have an epic origin story. I am here to tell you about mine.
You see, I was bitten by a radioactive hiker once…
Sleeping outside is FUN, ok?!
In all seriousness, eh, in mostly seriousness – silliness is essentially my brand these days, if you had spoken to a past Dema (let’s say circa 2016 – which was somehow 8 YEARS AGO) about thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail, let alone thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail alone, she would have laughed in your face. Okay, she most certainly would not have laughed in your face. Past Dema was far too polite for that. But she would have silently judged you and questioned your mental stability.
I did not grow up as a very outdoorsy person. I hail from a long line of what I will affectionately refer to as “beach people” In other words, my Greek immigrant grandparents all came to the United States and worked very hard for their families to be able to reside in shelters with running water, electricity and warm soft beds. Their idea of a fun, relaxed trip to unwind is warm sand by the sea, not a trek out into the woods. In fact, the only camping-adjacent experience I ever had as a child was staying in a cabin with the GirlScouts, and I never even learned how to pitch a tent until I was 24 years old. But here I am approximately 6 years later with a backpacking tent, hiking shoes, and a dream. How the hell did we end up here?
The “People Pleaser to Thru Hiker” Pipeline exists. I am the proof.
Full disclosure, these next few paragraphs were the hardest part of this blog for me to write. For a while, this section was merely {insert shit about me here}. Putting the evolution that brought me to this moment in time and to be the person I am as I type this out is extremely challenging for me to put into words.
Bear with me.
I am the oldest of three, with a younger sister and younger brother. My parents are both first generation Greek-Americans. They wanted the best for me and my siblings and for us to have life experiences that they never had, much like their parents wanted more for them. Being the oldest in my family, there was quite a lot of pressure that came along with that kind of legacy. Not because it was consciously placed on me by my parents, who were and still are doing their best, but just through the nature of being the first to navigate uncharted territory. I was the first one to go away to college and live on a campus. I was the first one to go overseas on my own. I was the first one to start pushing boundaries and finding my own identity independent of my family identity. If you have ever watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding, you can get a sense of what that is like. (If you haven’t watched it, go watch it. This is not an endorsement for My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and I do not get commissions for referrals. It is a great movie, so do yourself a favor).
For a very long time, it was challenging for me to separate myself from my family and their expectations for me and my life. I was a chronic people-pleaser, obsessed with making sure I was always following the “right” path and doing what I was “supposed” to be doing to make my family proud. It was exceptionally hard for me to make a life decision without heavily weighing in the thoughts, feelings and opinions of everyone close to me. What often got lost in the mix was my voice, my intuition, my gut feelings. There was no single point in time exactly where I suddenly outgrew that. Frankly, I haven’t really fully outgrown that. I am admittedly still a people-pleaser in many ways (thank you, anxiety). But over the years, I have worked to act in spite (not in absence) of the gut-twisting nervousness of letting down any single person I have crossed paths with.
Becoming the bravest, most confident me I can be.
So what does any of this have to do with wanting to do an Appalachian Trail thru-hike? I think the context of who I am is an especially important piece of why I am planning this trip in the first place. I started to get into backpacking a few years ago by going on short weekend trips with friends, and I quickly fell in love with it. I had enjoyed hiking before that, but something about backpacking deeply resonated with me. I loved the idea of having everything I needed on my own back. There is no activity that has ever made me feel quite as empowered, confident in myself or at peace with the universe. In the chaos of life, I find solace in being immersed in nature where I have only myself to rely on. And this feeling has spread into my general demeanor and perspective as I move through my day to day life.
As many before me have and as recommended by Liz Thomas, Zach Davis and I am sure many more wise, seasoned thru-hiker folk, I started my Appalachian Trail planning by reflecting on my reasons for attempting this thru-hike.
Why do I want to go on this journey?
What will I be giving up?
What will I be gaining?
There were quite a few themes that rose to the surface through this exercise, but the most resonant was this, “I want to become a braver and more confident version of myself”. That is the main goal I am holding in my mind as I plan for the adventure to come, and that I plan to repeat to myself when my feet hit the trail.
No matter what lies ahead for me – laughs, cries, blisters, wet socks, ramen noodles – all that I can hope for from this experience is that I can continue to grow into the boldest and most vibrant version of myself.
**Requests for refunds of time, braincells or energy spent reading this blog are not currently being accepted by the author. Please accept this sincere “thanks, buddy” instead…. “Thanks, buddy!”
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Comments 44
You can do it
Found this through my google algorithms! Loved this! Thanks for being so honest! Good luck on your journey! Hope to do it one day
you can thank the google because your blog splashed on my start page. the algorithms thought i might appreciate your humor and candor, and then i did. best of luck on your adventure of a lifetime!
I believe in you. I always have. And I always will. ❤️
I have every confidence you will succeed in this journey of a lifetime.
Here to support you all along the way. Love you. ❤️Mom
Hi ❤️Mom
So many questions… Love the Blog, 29 is one thing-22? Any thoughts on 22 starting this journey in a month? For THIS 💜Mom the anxiety is high!
Hi 💜Mom
Hang in there. We can support each other. 22 or 29 the anxiety is high as a mom. I get it. I am in awe, proud, excited and terrified all at the same time.
Will your daughter be doing a blog? If not, feel free to stay in touch here. Lol
As for me, I am trying to tamp down my fear. Dema has been planning and planning and organizing and that I find comforting. She’ll have spots where we’ll meet up with her or friends will meet up with her. Stay positive! They got this and we got this! Yours starts in Feb? Mine starts in Apr.
The algorithm be algorithming! Thanks, Google, for bringing me here (and hi to Dema’s mom and dad!)
Good luck on your adventure! I’m a recovering people pleaser on a road trip headed in the opposite direction right now myself. Some people think I’m silly for living in a tin can on wheels, too, but it’s a terrific joy to be a little silly sometimes.
Looking forward to reading more!
Can’t wait to read more, love your style. I totally get the people pleasing thing. Good luck an tell your folks I said ‘hi’
You’ve got this in the bag! I’m looking forward to following along. And wow,.. those pictures are stunning!
Go Dema! You got this! Nancy
You’ll make it. It’s just a matter of putting many short backpacking trips together. Also, like some others, Google led me here. It knows I read The Trek.
Dan I like your description of how it’s just putting many short backpacking trips together.
Step by step.
Small trip by small trip.
Dema, go boldly into this adventure. As the oldest of 3 siblings in my family too, I resonate with what is driving you. I don’t think I’d have had the guts to do this in my 20s. Have fun, be safe and I’ll be following along. Hope you will rep the Terps while you are on the trail!
This is awesome and yes I’m jealous that you are doing this!! Can’t wait to “follow you” (virtually of course) on this journey!! Enjoy it and good luck!
Dude…the pipeline is real. This hit hard for me!!
Well you got me. Nice Write-up. Looking forward to following along vicariously. Happy walking to you.
Painful to read how wimpy. Glad you are actually going to be brave for once.
There’s always gotta be one. You’re it no thaks.
Did you really think you did something here? ~ Much love from the much ruder younger sister of this people pleasing badass <3
Get after it. lil sis! I wanna be on ya’ll’s team!
What a great first step you have taken ! You go, girl. Being one who has hiked a portion of the AP and loved it, I have only one piece of advice ; be sure to not forget to look around you and take in the views and emotions you are feeling. What treasures they are and will be lifetime memories. God bless your days in the trail.
Yes! Looking forward to more of that. When are you starting? Let’s get this big fat Greek hike started!
Looking forward to following your adventure to Maine. I am looking forward to spring of 2025 for a thru hike so I love reading about everyone’s adventures
Proud of you 😊 I can’t wait to see and hear about all your adventures to come. Be safe and ENJOY!!
I’ll be cheering for and following you on your quest. I suspect you’ll do quite well and succeed in your goal long before Maine.
Well you know how much I love camping, having gladly negotiated being cookie mom instead for 17 years. Still I respect your desire to go on this grand adventure. Doubtless it will be a huge challenge, and that you will succeed in finding the ferocity I know is inside you. Much love and strength to you, Dema!
Wahoo! Loved reading this. I thru hiked the AT last year and it was the most challenging, but rewarding 7 months of my life. Knowing your the importance of understanding your “why” cannot be overstated enough. Your “why” resonated a lot with mine, and it helped me get through some really tough days. Good luck, looking forward to following along!
Get ready to be lulled to sleep to the tune of packs of coyotes and the mournful sounds of barred owls calling to one another. But don’t let the screech owls scare you… it will raise the hair on the back of your neck, though. Nothing like it!
You go, girl!
So proud of you Dema you have always accomplished whet you have set out to do. I would never have the courage but I am excited to follow along. Love you 😘
Bless the algorithm!! Your story is so relatable to me as a people pleaser and a fellow 29 year old. But my journey before 30 I’ve decided to complete the Virginia Trail Quest but I want to eventually to the AT. Best of luck going to follow your progress! Let me know if you need anything while in Virginia! Always down to help out a friend in need!
Hey Dema! So excited for your journey, if you need anything I live in upstate South Carolina and visit central East Tennessee often. The AT runs right through there. Let me know if you need anything at all! Excited to be apart of your adventure!
Wow, Dema! Go get it, girl! I look forward to your updates!
As another eldest of 3, I get the weight of expectation. And I know that I can put it on myself, too. Even in the things that are supposed to be fun. So, even if things are hard or something happens, you are ALWAYS growing to be the best, strongest, most vibrant you. And that does sometimes require some pain. (But fr you’ve got this, I hope you love your time out there and learn a ton)
I don’t know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was excellent. I have no idea who you are, but you will become a well-known blogger very soon if you aren’t already. Salutations.
I’ve followed the blogs of several thru-hikers over the years and have found that the other followers are a large part of the fun. I hope you will continue to follow Dema!
Best of luck to you. Looking forward to reading about your adventures, no pressure though HYOH!
You are going to crush this and continue to be one of the people I look up to the most. Get it, Dema!!!
You sound like me! I believe in you!
Your family should understand this easily, if they really think about it. They dropped everything they knew and moved half a world away in search of something else, remember? To just endlessly go along to get along in the “same old, same old” life they grew up with was not for them… and it is not for you, either. 🙂
Good luck, Dee-muh! I recently moved to E. TN, and came across so many great blogs from thru-hikers. Looking forward to following your journey through what I suspect will be an entertaining blog! I’ve read there’s a lot of trail angles along the AT, but if you need any trail magic when you’re heading through TN let me know and I’ll be happy to help if I can.
What an amazing adventure you’re on, Dema! I will thoroughly enjoy living this experience vicariously through you. Be safe. Be brave. Be present in every moment. 💓